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Parenting

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Original poster

7 week old won't sleep on his own

31 replies

BlairBelkova · 09/01/2020 14:14

Hi. My 7 week old won't settle unless he is being held by me.
Every time I put him down, he screams which makes sleeping hard - for both of us. I've tried putting a shirt of mine in his Moses basket with him but he knows the difference. I've also tried swaddling but he fights it & then gets his arms and legs out.
When he's in his Moses basket for a nap or the night, he fights asleep and cries. I feel like I'm doing a bad job cos all I hear from people is "mine was fine from2 weeks" or "mine sleep through and have done, on their own from day one"
I'm a first time mam & I really don't know what to do. My parents suggested letting him cry it out and I tried leaving him to cry for a while and he did fall asleep but then woke up not long after and carried on crying.
I won't co-sleep due to being on medication for bipolar disorder & to be honest, the thought of co-sleeping scares me.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:

Upso · 09/01/2020 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

firstimemamma · 09/01/2020 14:20

Perfectly natural and normal for newborns to want to be with their mummies at all times, despite what you might hear otherwise. Your baby is in the fourth trimester.

It gets easier as they get older.

With ds he had most of his day time sleep in my arms and at night we tried our best with his bedside crib, cuddling etc. Never did any form of sleep training, we just answered his cries every time and let him find his own path.
At 10 months he started sleeping through every so often and by a year every night.

If you're breastfeeding it's normal and natural for baby to want to breastfeed constantly too.

Good luck, it's so hard

Winterpanda · 09/01/2020 14:21

My DD is 7 weeks old too and I’m having exactly the same issue. and we’ll get through it!

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Wnikat · 09/01/2020 14:22

Very normal. Try very loud white noise as he is going to sleep and leave it on a bit quieter all night. And swaddle tighter. Babies that age can’t self soothe so leaving him to cry won’t work. Either rock until asleep and then try to put him down. Or put him on his side, and pat his bottom to simulate the beating of your heart when he was in the womb.

Some don’t need all of the above but plenty do. It eases off about 12 weeks and they get better at sleeping alone.

Booboostwo · 09/01/2020 14:25

Mine didn't sleep for 2 years so you definitely don't have an odd baby or the only one that won't sleep. At that age it is completely normal that they need body contact.

Since you are on medication that makes co-sleeping unsafe could your partner co-sleep? Or could you get a co-sleeping cot that attaches to your bed?

burritofan · 09/01/2020 14:25

Normal. Please don't leave a baby that little to cry, they won't understand why or what you expect of them. He just wants to still be inside you and, since that isn't possible, be on you.

Do you have a partner or someone who can share the shifts with you so you get a block of sleep while they hold the baby? Co sleeping is safe if your medication doesn't cause extreme deep sleep and you're breastfeeding.

firstimemamma · 09/01/2020 14:25

"mine sleep through and have done, on their own from day one"

Just to add if people say stuff like this to me I just smile and nod then ignore.

Sleeping through from day 1 is nothing to be aspired to imo. It's normal and part of their development to wake and feed at night. We spent the first week of ds' life physically waking him ourselves for feeds.

It's very hard but does get easier as they sleep for longer stints as they get older.

OverthinkingThis · 09/01/2020 14:28

"mine was fine from2 weeks" or "mine sleep through and have done, on their own from day one"

Original poster

BlairBelkova · 09/01/2020 14:30

I'm really relieved that it's normal to be honest. I've been wondering if I've been doing a really bad job.
Thankyou everyone! I am gonna Google the fourth trimester and I'll play white noise for him and see if that helps! Thankyou

OP posts:

Mandarinfish · 09/01/2020 14:30

Please don't leave a 7 week baby to cry it out. I know this is awful and tiring for you, but he is so young and he needs cuddles and reassurance. It will get better in a few weeks.

OverthinkingThis · 09/01/2020 14:31

sorry pressed post too soon. you've had great advice already OP, its totally normal. When people say their kid slept through from two weeks old etc... bear in mind that once their kid is over about 5, they generally can't actually remember this kind thing all that accurately anymore anyway!

Lilkat · 09/01/2020 14:43

Hi op I posted here a few weeks ago worrying about the same thing! I didn't want to co-sleep for various reasons but after getting advice here I decided to go for it. I realise your situation is different due to your medication.

I find if I hold my los arms gently on her chest and let my hand rest there it helps her settle. She does fuss sometimes during the night but if I reach into the cot and do this, 9 times out of 10 she settles.

Have you considered one of those next 2 u cribs? I wish I'd bought one now - my shoulder is wrecked from leaning into the cot! It would let you hold your lo without actually having them in the bed with you, and you can find second hand ones online in great condition if you don't want to spend the money on a new one

PeacefulInTheDeep · 09/01/2020 22:07

Mine was the same at that age. I worked out that he liked it if I pressed on the soles of his feet, enough that his knees went up towards his ribs. I guess it was like being back in the womb and having his feet under my ribs! He also liked having his head stroked.

We had a bedside crib which meant I could lean over and do this for him, until he'd settle with a hand on his chest and then, eventually, on his own.

Hang in there and keep trying and retrying different things - you'll find something that works for you both.

DobbyLovesSocks · 09/01/2020 22:14

Sorry to hear this. Our DS went through the same thing. Sleep deprivation is horrendous.
Could LO have reflux? If he is sleeping on you (and I assume he is upright?) but not when you lie him down it's a possibility?

sometimesalways · 09/01/2020 22:23

Weirdly the only thing (apart from being on me) that helped DS go to sleep those days was a running tap. We must have spent a fortune on water bills for the first three months of his life. But I was too sleep deprived to remember or care hang in there OP! It will get easier gradually

RhymingRabbit3 · 09/01/2020 22:27

It's really tough and tiring but normal. It will soon pass as he gets older and used to the outside world.

Sunrisemummy · 10/01/2020 02:16

Very normal at that age. From birth until 10 months with my son I was holding and rocking him ( in a rocking chair) and when he was falling asleep I was putting him in his crib. At 10 months I started put him in his crib and I was sitting next to him holding his hand until he fall asleep and after slowly slowly I started sitting more far away, after a little bit more until he was comfortable for him to sleep alone in his room, in his crib ( I think it took from 10 months- 13 months)

PatricksRum · 10/01/2020 03:01

Normal. Have you tried co-sleep/ bed sharing?

babymullet · 10/01/2020 05:00

Have you got any swaddle sleep bags or are you swaddling with a muslin?

Original poster

BlairBelkova · 11/01/2020 09:02

I can't co-sleep with him, I am on medication which prevents it being safe. I have swaddle blankets.
I started using the swaddle blankets, playing white noise and he did sleep well last night! 7:30pm til 10:30. After his bottle, he fell asleep again & woke for another feed at 4:45. He did wake up slightly at 2:30 but fell back straight away. He's 8 week old today so hopefully he'll be falling in to a nice evening routine that I've been trying since day 1.

OP posts:

Booboostwo · 11/01/2020 09:16

Does you medication mean that even a co-sleeping side-cot would be dangerous? Like one of these?

www.madeformums.com/reviews/8-of-the-best-co-sleeping-cots-and-cribs-for-safe-sleeping/

PatricksRum · 13/01/2020 03:33

@BlairBelkova co-sleeping wouldn't be dangerous. Bed sharing potentially.

MerryDeath · 13/01/2020 05:30

it will pass. don't leave him to it. my solution is to co sleep but alas you have covered that

ButtonandPickle19 · 14/01/2020 10:14

@BlairBelkova that sounds great! And it sounds like you’re doing a great job... I wish babies came with manuals! Just remember, it won’t last forever, it will stop and he will sleep. There aren’t adults up and down the country sleeping on their mums chests so there is an end to it x

Original poster

BlairBelkova · 27/01/2020 19:33

I thought co-sleeping was the same as bed sharing.
Thankyou everyone for the advice. During the day, he sleeps perfectly with his head on my shoulder and his arm around my neck to touch the other shoulder. He does like being close to people. I bought a sleep-next-to-me crib so hopefully that'll work. He slept through the night when my sister had him so I could sleep. I asked what she did and she said she put him on a pillow in the bed next to her and it was fine so I'm thinking the sleep-next-to-me might do the trick.
I've just gotta remember that he is now 10 weeks old & everything is all new.
I thought he might have reflux so I started doing baby massage on a night with him to get him all ready and relaxed for bedtime. It worked one night and hasn't since but it's only been 2 weeks so I'll keep trying. If anything, it's a nice routine for him

OP posts:

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