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Parenting

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Original poster

My kids were bumped by a car whilst in their pushchair (are OK) but how would you react?

145 replies

adamadamum · 23/08/2007 23:56

Yesterday we were going on a trip with DD's nursery and close to the nursery I stopped for a moment to check something. It's a quiet side road and I stopped just inside a church car park next door to the nursery. There were no cars, and as I said it's a very quiet road, but I still felt safer parking the buggy there than on the narrow pavement, ironically.

Basically a car came into the car park when I had my back turned for a moment, and suddenly my kids were jolted by this car, not injured thank God, but someone had hit the buggy and knocked it (and obvously them) a foot or two...AND CARRIED ON DRIVING! Slowly it has to be said, I know it wasn't a dramatic hit and run, the driver had pulled into the car park to park there, but it was only when I was banging on her window shouting "You've just hit my children!" that she realised! She had no idea of what she had just done.

She was a rather senior lady let's say, and obviously felt terrible about it, and the kids were fine (more upset by my sudden outburst than anything!), and she was shaken when she knew what she had done, but how forgiving should I be?

A lovely member of staff from the nursery came over, and put her arm around the woman and told her not to worry as no harm was done etc., and not to let this put her off driving. We had already exchanged numbers and the woman said she would appreciate if I could call her on our return from the day out, to reassure her that everyone was fine. I said I would try - I kind of felt obliged to be more polite than I wanted to be because of the nursery teacher being so nice to her!!!

But all sympathy seemed to be for her rather than us...she rammed into my kids pushchair - we were stationary in an empty car-park fgs!

The lovely nursery woman, who I know quite well, later suggested that if I liked she would phone this woman to reassure her that all was well, and to try to make sure this didn't knock her confidence as a driver...anyway I forgot to give her the number so she couldn't and last night I was glad, as I am not sure I want to encourage her to continue driving after hitting my children! They weren't hurt, but they could have been, or worse. By the way she said she didn't see us, and as I said she didn't even notice that she had hit my kids.

Well, how sympathetic would you be? How angry would you be? What would your reaction be?

Am I right not to want to phone her and reassure her? to be too angry to?

OP posts:

Original poster

adamadamum · 26/08/2007 23:56

I also want to remind people that this was a very spacious, and totally empty church car park on a very quiet road, but with a narrow pavement. I thought it would be safer to stop there for a moment than on the narrow pavement, and surely when you are pulling up into a car park without walls, you can see what is in the car park! Also, even if she didn't see the buggy surely she should have seen me, holding on to it!

OP posts:

Original poster

adamadamum · 27/08/2007 00:00

Doodledootwo are you a mind reader? Well obviously not. Do you think MN is God and it's not OK to ask for oppinions from people on other sites?

I have been posting because I couldn't decide what to do for the best of my children, the driver, and my peace of mind.

Maybe one day you will have such an experience and I hope someone like you will reply to your threads too.

OP posts:

EricL · 27/08/2007 00:02

Hmmm - i guess i agree with Doodle in that it is strange that you are focusing a lot on this and attempting to get peoples reactions to it. If i was a Psychologist then i guess this is the bit where i tell you why you are doing this.

But i'm not, so i'm not going to.

You reacted how you reacted. All of us would have done something slightly different cos we are all different.

Just do what you think is right and you will have no regrets.

alipiggie · 27/08/2007 00:14

I'm a "middle age" driver who recently re-did a driving test to get her US Licence. There are blind spots on cars, particularly those with large rear ends and bumpers, hence the introduction of. I know as I scared the life out of myself by reversing onto a concrete pillar because I couldn't see it as it was below my line of sight, just as a small child or a buggy would be. I vowed there and then to not have another car like that Nissan Primera.

I agree if someone had hit my children's buggy I would have been furious to say the least. But just maybe she had a blind spot and really really didn't see you.

I really don't think all Elderly drivers are bad, sorry. My Mother's never ever had an accident in all the time she's been driving. She's careful and very observant. Yet my H on the other hand has had loads. Let's not attack the elderly all the time please . Plenty of young irresponsible, drunk and drugged drivers out there who cause way more accidents, deaths and injuries. My sympathies to you and your child as you all had a fright. I'm very glad that none of you were the worse for your experience.

alipiggie · 27/08/2007 00:15

Oh and as my cat deleted some of that

"hence the introduction of rear parking sensors on cars"

Original poster

adamadamum · 27/08/2007 00:15

Why is it that the posters who seem to be on the side of the driver who hit my kids, have no public profile, when the vast majority of other posters do? I find that quite interesting!

OP posts:

alipiggie · 27/08/2007 00:18

Is that aimed at me?

Original poster

adamadamum · 27/08/2007 00:27

I am not against middle aged drivers at all. I just worry about unsafe ones. And it wasn't just the buggy remember, I was there too. Right beside them. I posted this because i do not want an old woman's health to be effected by my actions, but all the same her driving WAS dangerous at that moment, and I have been trying to decide what to do. If a younger person did it , I bet most people would be on to the police. I have sympathy for this elderly lady - my mother is one too after all (though doesn't drive!)

are we supposed to ignore these things just because the driver is elderly?

By the way I bumped the thread because although I phoned the police finally tonight I am awaiting a visit from them hopefully tomorrow, it is hardly done and dusted as I haven't given all details yet.

I think it's fair enough to want advice and opinions (though some I think are idiotic) until then!

Anyone who questions this should try to imagine how they would feel if it happened to them.

OP posts:

Original poster

adamadamum · 27/08/2007 00:29

Allipiggie no it wasn't aimed at you!

OP posts:

JeremyVile · 27/08/2007 00:30

But it is done, you have decided - you contacted the police(demanded a home visit, no less ).
I understand it must have been traumatic but why are you still so eager to hear everyone elses opinions?

Original poster

adamadamum · 27/08/2007 00:35

jeremyvile I did NOT demand a home visit. Can't you read?

OP posts:

JeremyVile · 27/08/2007 00:36

....Also if anyone who does not agree with you is 'idiotic' then you dont really need or want anyones opinions or advice.

AttilaTheMum · 27/08/2007 00:43

By EricL on Sun 26-Aug-07 23:35:48
"I sat behind them for a while, went up real close a few times then gave up and started flashing them."....
"I hate these people as it doesn't seem to matter how carefully we ourselves drive - there are always these idiots who make it dangerous for everybody else. "
I love your definition of 'careful driving' Eric!

Original poster

adamadamum · 27/08/2007 00:50

vile, are you drunk or always so nasty?

My children were hit, it is a fact. If there was any doubt there I wouldn't have posted.

I asked for opinions about what to do about it, considering the drivers age.

There is no doubt that she hit them.

suggesting she didn't is also suggesting that I am blaming someone for something that they may not have done. She did it. I have not given a statement to the police as yet. and I did NOT DEMAND A HOME VISIT. I requested it for reasons that I do not have to explain to the likes of you,

But for others who may read this I will...

I am on my own with 2 pre-schoolers, and one is disabled. I do not drive and the nearest police station is very difficult to get to, would require at least 2 buses and in my area many of the bus routes have no low-liners, which makes it impossible to use them with a double buggy and no I cannot fold the buggy up and have them both loose on the bus, remember one has special needs. God knows how we would get there. We have to rely on black cabs a lot and even they are getting harder to get at the moment.

OP posts:

JeremyVile · 27/08/2007 00:54

Am i drunk?
No. Very much not.

But I'm beginning to suspect you may have had a few cheeky drams yourself.....

I didn't AT ANY POINT question whether this lady had hit your buggy. Perhaps you are confusing me with someone else?

Original poster

adamadamum · 27/08/2007 01:05

Yes, I confused you with tatt on that one. But the rest holds true. and I am most certainly not drunk.

OP posts:

JeremyVile · 27/08/2007 01:07

Apology accepted. Night.

Original poster

adamadamum · 27/08/2007 07:59

Vile it was not an apology.

OP posts:

Hannie55 · 27/08/2007 09:27

I have just read all this AND the other site you linked to.
Wow!
Whilst I am with everyone else that its a good idea to contact the police etc I have to say I think your posts are becoming increasingly aggressive. I'm not sure why.
You have specifically asked for opinions, how others would have acted and the vast majority have agreed with your actions and belief that the police should be involved.
The few who have offered a diferent point of view, you have invariably called "Idiots", as someone else has said, this approach suggests that you dont necessarily want other peoples views you simply want to be told you are right. Which is fair enough but not exactly what is suggested by your OP.
Anyway, I dont know why you are being this way, nor why you have kept bumping and bumping and bumping, nor why have requested that people give their opinions on replies left for you on another site.
Maybe its just the stress of it all, but perhaps you should calm yourself down a little?
I mean this not in a nasty way but honestly, you must be doing your own head in?!

tatt · 28/08/2007 16:24

probably the suggestons on the other website that the OP was at fault for not hving her attention on the pushchair.

I do not appreciate being shouted at for questioning how - with your back turned - you were so sure your buggy had been hit, a question the police should certainly ask you. You now say you had your hand on it, not something mentioned previously.

I was warning you - politely - that the police would not help you. They were not interested when a child - as opposed to a buggy - was actually hit and knocked off their feet.

The woman was, from what you say, upset and shaken - you said she felt terrible. She has probably already been questioning herself about her driving and how she could possibly have missed seeing the buggy. This is not a boy racer who couldn't give a hoot or a tailgater who should be arrested for dangerous driving. You obviously do want to do her some permanent harm for upsetting you.

Since I wasn't there I don't know what the car park is like, what the visibilty is like, whether you were blocking the entrance, how the woman could hit your buggy and not you. The more offensive you become the more I begin to wonder if it was at clear cut as you suggest.

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