My kids were bumped by a car whilst in their pushchair (are OK) but how would you react?

[adamadamum]

Yesterday we were going on a trip with DD's nursery and close to the nursery I stopped for a moment to check something. It's a quiet side road and I stopped just inside a church car park next door to the nursery. There were no cars, and as I said it's a very quiet road, but I still felt safer parking the buggy there than on the narrow pavement, ironically.

Basically a car came into the car park when I had my back turned for a moment, and suddenly my kids were jolted by this car, not injured thank God, but someone had hit the buggy and knocked it (and obvously them) a foot or two...AND CARRIED ON DRIVING! Slowly it has to be said, I know it wasn't a dramatic hit and run, the driver had pulled into the car park to park there, but it was only when I was banging on her window shouting "You've just hit my children!" that she realised! She had no idea of what she had just done.

She was a rather senior lady let's say, and obviously felt terrible about it, and the kids were fine (more upset by my sudden outburst than anything!), and she was shaken when she knew what she had done, but how forgiving should I be?

A lovely member of staff from the nursery came over, and put her arm around the woman and told her not to worry as no harm was done etc., and not to let this put her off driving. We had already exchanged numbers and the woman said she would appreciate if I could call her on our return from the day out, to reassure her that everyone was fine. I said I would try - I kind of felt obliged to be more polite than I wanted to be because of the nursery teacher being so nice to her!!!

But all sympathy seemed to be for her rather than us...she rammed into my kids pushchair - we were stationary in an empty car-park fgs!

The lovely nursery woman, who I know quite well, later suggested that if I liked she would phone this woman to reassure her that all was well, and to try to make sure this didn't knock her confidence as a driver...anyway I forgot to give her the number so she couldn't and last night I was glad, as I am not sure I want to encourage her to continue driving after hitting my children! They weren't hurt, but they could have been, or worse. By the way she said she didn't see us, and as I said she didn't even notice that she had hit my kids.

Well, how sympathetic would you be? How angry would you be? What would your reaction be?

Am I right not to want to phone her and reassure her? to be too angry to?

I'm glad you have called the police - its the right thing to do
Regardless of this lady's demeanour, she was driving without due care and attention. It is the role of the police to determine if this was an uncharacteristic one-off, or whether the lady is not a fit driver
Either way, it isn't your responsibility to protect her from any potential upset this may cause her
I hope you are feeling a bit better tonight - I think you have behaved with admirable restraint, if it had been me, I may well have been the one answering the door to the police to explain why I just punched an old lady!

glad you have called the police. It's for them to shoulder the responsibility of this.

Oh its my pet bugbear.. old folks driving when they should be off the road.

There is not enought traffic police about to catch this sort of driving.

I had to brake hard today to avoid hitting a micra today that braked to 10mph going round a corner.... he did it a second time and got a hard blast of horn from me. Thats just dangerous!

You are doing the right thing reporting it.

I just hope the police don't decide to call this evening. It's getting late, I am shattered and am enjoying a well deserved glass of wine! I hope they call tomorrow though and let me get a little bit of "closure" on this whole thing!

Anyone have an idea what the police might do after I have given them my account?

Hi everyone, thanks for your posts so far...I decided to also post this question on another forum and you should see some of the answers! Most are sympathetic but some are quite the opposite!

I suspect rules may not allow me to say the particular forum, I have no idea and am too lazy to check, but it's name is 2 words, first beginning with Y, ends with oo, second begins with A and the word is the opposite to "Question"...

I am gobsmacked by a couple of the ANSWERS (hint...) though most are nice and sensible.

Now I will try the less roundabout approach and be damned...Look at the responses on YAHOO ANSWERS! In the "Toddler & preschooler" section, that may be a sub heading under parenting or something similar!

I don't know if I am allowed to do that, refer to other forums, but hey, you only live once...and it's hardly an unimportant subject.

pretty sure your allowed, post us a link please

Hate doing this but ...BUMP!

ok i'll do it

here

j20baby let's see if this works...

uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070826131916AAo2XjC&r=w

I doubt it, I am rubbish at this type of thing but who knows!

You beat me to it J20baby, and did a far better job than i did it must be said! Must brush up on my pc skills... Thanks!

no worries.

most of them seem to have similar views to people on MN, have you heard from the police yet?

no I haven't heard from the police. I hope they call tomorrow.

What did you think of rob b's "answer"?

Slightly off topic - a few days ago I was listening to Women's Hour and heard an item about the Independent Transport Network in the US - older people can trade in their cars for an equivalent amount of transport credit - the cars are driven by volunteers and give the flexibility of cars without the danger. Started by a woman who lost her son to an accident involving an older driver. I was so deeply impressed by the item and, tbh, the emotional and moral strength of the founder.

Not suggesting you should do the same here - wish someone would but it's not going to be me [zones out in front of digital channels/mn emoticon]

erm-think he's a bit of a prat tbh, and has probably done something similar himself and is trying to justify it

your back was turned and yet you are sure that she hit the pushchair - how can you be so sure, just because it had moved? Maybe your brake is faulty - if it was on - and the car park slopes. If I'd seen someone hit the pushchair I'd be furious but you need to be sure of your facts.

I know of a similar incident where the driver was seen to knock over a child and police considered charging the parent (who hit the car to make the driver stop). Sanity prevailed but don't expect anything from the police.

It helps no-one to give an old lady a heart attack. Maybe she shouldn't be driving but maybe she didn't actually notice she'd hit the buggy because she didn't actually hit it.

She shouldn't be driving - pure and simple. I would have reported it as an accident to the police and tried to make it as difficult for her as possible. Basically i would have done the exact opposite to how the nursery staff reacted.

I am sick and tired of seeing people of advancing years making the roads unsafe for everyone else.

I have just come back from driving around London this weekend and came up behind this driver sat permantly in the fast lane of the M11 driving slower than the traffic in the other lanes. I always refuse to undertake as i think this is dangerous as the person in front of you onviously has no concept of driving or checking mirrors and could pull in without checking just as you undertake.

I sat behind them for a while, went up real close a few times then gave up and started flashing them. Still nothing. Unbelieveable. After another couple on minutes they pulled over seemingly for a bit of a change and i came up alongside them slowly to 'look' at them. It was a middle-aged woman with her eyes fixed on the road ahead and absolutely no spatial awareness at all of what was going on around her.

Then driving further along, i overtook a car driving along at about 60mph IN THE HARD SHOULDER. It was an elderly woman. She came up on the hatched lines of an adjoining junction, only saw them at the last minute, shat herself, slammed on her brakes, then veered onto the motorway without looking - right in front of an overtaking cat. He hit her up the arse and they both pulled over.

To get into the hard shoulder she must have driven over the red cats eyes and rumble strips in the paint. Then she only saw the fact that she was in it at the very last moment and panicked and pulled into moving traffic without looking and caused an accident.

I hate these people as it doesn't seem to matter how carefully we ourselves drive - there are always these idiots who make it dangerous for everybody else.

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(overtaking CAR - a cat would have been even more surreal)

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TATT SHE HIT THE BUGGY! THE CAR PARK DOES NOT SLOPE. I HAD MY HAND ON THE HANDLE OF THE BUGGY. I HEARD A SLOW MOVING CAR THEN HEARD AND FELT A BANG. THE BUGGY WAS JOLTED A FOOT OR TWO. SHE 200% HIT MY CHILDREN IN THEIR BUGGY.

Ignore Rob.

Drivers have the responsibility to make sure that any actions they take when driving are safe. You have to check all around you constantly - especially when in places like car-parks where there are often no defined rights of way and there is the possibilty of vehicles and people moving about in it from any direction.

TATT YES I WOULD NOT LIKE TO GIVE ANYONE A HEART ATTACK AS I HAVE ALREADY POSTED. MAYBE IT WOULD BE OK FOR AN OLD LADY TO KILL OR MAIM TWO CHILDREN INSTEAD. THE BREAKS ON THE BUGGY ARE FINE. SHE HIT THEM. WHAT THE F888K DO YOU THINK SUDDENLY BANGED INTO THE BUGGY AND FLEW IT A FOOT OR TWO AS HER CAR WENT BY? A SUDDEN WHIRLWIND?

Sure - we all make mistakes. But i have never hit anything like that especially at slow speeds. No excuse.

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