Do you make your kids something else if they don't like dinner?

[SallyAnne89]

I try to offer lots of different foods at a meal time so there's something they already like. However, recently it feels like they are not even giving it a proper go and just expecting me to conjure up something else (yeah, just like a magic new meal because they don't fancy whatever it is) and I'm really not on for that. What do you do if they don't eat dinner? Do you offer an alternative? If so, what? Thanks

Is it genuinely about the food? Or something else?

Throwing food away horrifies me too O P.

No.

I don't force DCs to eat anything but they are offered a decent meal. If they choose not to eat it, no pudding and nothing else. Being a bit hungry isn't going to harm them. They usually manage some of the meal whatever it is. We have freshly cooked meals like roasts, casseroles most days but quick oven food like fish gingers once or twice a week, sometimes baked potatoes with fillings, pasta with sauce etc. A good variety.

If I let my DCs eat toast or sandwiches or yoghurt instead of dinner they would never eat dinner.

Also I v try yo make sure there's something on the plate they really like eg a mild curry isn't popular with them but they love rice and peas, so that day they would still have something on the plate. Mostly they eat the whole meal or most of it. I think if you only ever cook very plain processed food then children refuse to eat 'proper' meals.

I generally don't. Sometimes I'll make something different if I know 100% that's they definitely do not like it (such as a hot curry) but DH and I really want it. It's very rare though. They usually have to eat what we do, however one child will have sweetcorn but no carrots, the other will have carrots but not sweetcorn and the other will have them both.

@Bluewavescrashing

They won't eat beige crap anymore either.

I tend not to cook food I know they dont like but if they have tried and really hate it they get toast with butter. As an adult, I wouldn't eat a meal I hate so I will not expect the same of my children just because they are children. However I wont go and cook a complete other meal either.

@SallyAnne89 have you v tried letting them serve themselves? Eg chicken wraps - you cook the chicken, a variety of veg and some child friendly sauces eg sour cream, mild salsa and they can put the fillings on their wrap and roll it? Or similar with pizza toppings (use ready made bases if short on time)? How about eggs on toast or something simple like that they can help you with?

If you offer a meal and they choose not to eat it, you're not starving them by not offering an alternative. Maybe don't repeat that particular meal for a while, we all have foods we don't like but if it's every day thats a problem for you.

Not making it a battle is important. My advice: just say, you don't have to eat it but there's nothing else. Make sure they aren't snacking between meals so they are properly hungry before dinner.

Nope. I will offer more of certain things that are part of dinner, assuming they eat/try enough of everything. But the only times I’ve ever made anything special were when they were really ill (like d&v and just needed to eat something they could keep down). Mine generally are not picky eaters as a result.

Absolutely not. I tend to cook foods that everyone is going to like (roast dinners, casseroles, pastas of varying flavours). If they complain, there's no alternative, and also no snacks to replace the meal. Life is stressful enough!

I have a fairly good idea of their likes and dislikes.
I do sometimes cook with things that one or other person doesn't like - I'd expect them to try one bite, then quietly put them to the side of their plate, or politely offer them to someone else.
I try and make sure every meal has something everyone can eat. That might mean cooking an extra type of vegetable, it might mean removing one person's portion before adding sauce or seasoning etc. Or taking care that someone didn't get any fatty bits of meat, that sort of thing.
It might even mean cooking, say, rice for one person and pasta for another.

But I wouldn't offer to cook something else if what I had served had been rejected. The time to talk about it is before I start cooking, not after!

I think this issue goes all the way back to weaning and not viewing food as 'grown ups' or 'kids' food. If babies are weaned on food that closely aligns with the family's regular food (adjusting salt content etc to make it suitable for a baby) then there shouldn't be an issue when they are a bit older as family meals are naturally normal, acceptable and enjoyable food for the child.

No. They either eat their dinner or they don't. If not they don't get anything except a piece of toast for supper. They learn quickly 😉

99.9% no absolutely not. If I've made something a bit risqué that I know is a bit of a risk, like something a bit spicy, I will do something else so long as they try it first. But my general rule with introducing something new is to ensure there's always something else on the plate they will eat, I refuse to cook multiple meals as a general rule, they aren't fussy eaters, not sure if that's because of my approach or that my approach works because they sent fussy eaters ha!

Eat or don't, it's my job to provide the food,it's up to the kid to eat it

I expect them to eat almost everything and they do. If one has one or two things they don't like that is fair enough eg plums or courgettes or whatever but if it is just ' not their favourite' then they can't leave it and they certainly couldn't avoid whole food groups. I never had to cajole though they just ate the same as everyone else and if a bit of something was left in the side of the plate I turned a blind eye.

I think if someone whether an adult or child genuinely dislikes something ( not a whole group like vegetables) they should not have to eat it but the list should be limited
ie if you don't like mangoes, beetroot and rice pudding that is fine
but if you say you don't like anything except sausage and chips it is not fine

No, I don’t cook separate meals. Occasionally, I will cook a slightly different part of a meal, ie fish for me and chicken for dc, but it will all be cooked together.

God no!!!

There's always at least one thing she will eat on the plate.

If she doesn't try each thing then there's nothing more. Full stop.

I will offer more of the thing she normally likes and then fruit or bread.

I don't offer alternative meals. My child is 2, nearly 3. I have NEVER offered alternatives

If you think your children are being deliberately difficult/fussy then don't throw their food away.

When they've rejected the meal, cling film it or box it and then put it in the fridge.

When they get hungry in 10/30 minutes I've them back their dinners. If it's cold then objectively, that's not your problem.

Don't throw away old meals until the next day.

No. I will alter slightly for DS(14) if we have curry or chilli as he doesn't eat spicy food. But as a rule, no, I don't run a cafe or a restaurant. There's two options:
1 take it
2 leave it

Never, it might sound harsh but growing up going to bed on an empty stomach taught me how to just stomach food even if I didn't like it.

Helps me in social situations now. Also think it's important to appreciate food for what it does for you and not just 'liking it', I grew up very broke, often had half a cheese sandwich for dinner, I'm not saying that's good but I'm saying as long as they're eating it's not a big deal if they don't like it.

I'm a childminder so feed a range of children from 'they eat anything' no really, they don't to 'if it's not McDonald's don't even try' actually they are quiet keen on some family favourites so have learnt to serve every evening meal with a choice of veg, a carb kept separate and then the main event - so curry, which I know some won't go for, will be accompanied by broccoli and green beans plus rice but not all piled up; spag Bol - serve separately with crudités on the side; fish pie I keep the mash separate as some don't like mixed up food plus serve with peas and sweetcorn; chicken casserole with cheesy jacket potato and carrots (mix of cooked and raw to suit) etc.

I try to make sure there's at least something they will eat as I do insist they all eat 1 of the veg, the carbs and try some of the rest - some will wood 5e lot and other will pick at the rice/potatoes and veg but that's fine as long as they try it and all without exception have got better at trying things and eating out of their comfort zone over the years.

I think you can hit the middle ground, so that they feel loved, but have firm boundaries.

DD1 (13) has SN. It doesn't matter what we serve, her inclination to eat it will vary according to her mood, etc. I'm starting to shrug my shoulders and say 'up to you', because if she had an alternative it would be nutella on bread, which I won't do.

DD2 (12) has ASD. Her dislike list was growing quite extensive, mainly around smell/ texture. I haven't stopped serving those foods, but she was given permission to pick them out and put them to one side. Things like courgette and aubergine that used to make her gag are now being eaten cautiously and enjoyed.

DD3 (10) has a fairly wide diet, but dislikes many meats. Chicken is ok, but lamb, fatty cuts of pork or beef are all tricky. I still cook it and simply say 'DD3, are you on or off meat today?' It's expensive and there's no point serving it if she won't eat it. I served steak, kidney and mushroom pie today, so she picked out the mushroom and kidney. Fine with me, as long as she doesn't fuss.

Generally, pick through it all you want, but don't make a fuss and you don't get extra pudding because you're still really hungry after leaving your dinner.