Am I lazy ??

[Smilebehappy123]

So basically DH has told me tonight I'm lazy and that I take him for granted he says he loves me but wants to change a few things in the relationship , its come as a bit of a shock to be honest but these are basically his issues

• I am at home on maternity leave with 7 month old , I dont really make his tea for when he finishes mainly because I find it difficult with the little one , he thinks meals should be ready for his return , he has asked that I start to do this

• night feeds- these are rarely now needed as little one is a good sleeper like her mum. Problem is I genuinely cant wake up in the night as I'm so tired so husband feeds little one despite being up for work at 6:30am. he has advised that he feels this is unfair. To be honest I never really give it much thought

Says I never make him a brew , also I wont change the bed and get him to do it as it hurts my arms changing the duvet

I do all the shopping, feed and look after baby in the day , put clothes in washing machine and also buy all the birthday cards we need for the year ,I sometimes go off to bed for an hour at night ( can often turn into 3 hours ) as I feel tired all the time * was bad anemic after the pregnancy)
Iv been crying all night about this and hubby now feels bad he says
Who is right ? Should I do more ??
I entertain our child all day and buy all her clothes , take her baby groups act

You need to get this tiredness checked out - could be anaemia.

Yeah he is lovely and supportive I dont have any problems with him at all I was really happy until he said I was lazy
So I am going to do more stuff now I think

I’ve practically never heard of a 7mo not sleeping in day, usually they should be having around 2.5-4h of naps AND sleeping through? Quick morning nap around 9, long lunchtime nap and maybe afternoon snooze.... just sleeping 9.30-7.30 is nowhere near enough

Go away for a week. Leave him to look after himself, the baby & the house see how lazy he thinks you are after that.

The nights feed could be like once in every three nights as this is the only time baby wakes , and sometimes baby just wants a cuddle and picking up which I love doing

She sleeps in the day not for long though just the odd hour here and there , probably about 3 hours in total in the day

If you love doing it, then why aren't you? This thread has a weird vibe to it. I'm off to bed but won't be surprised if it's gone in the morning!

Three hours is entirely normal, that's hardly not sleeping in the day!

I thought the poster meant like sleeping all day or something I miss read that sorry

Go away for a week. Leave him to look after himself, the baby & the house see how lazy he thinks you are after that.
What difference would it make? OP does bugger all as it is?
Likes to sleep, doesn’t wake for the baby, doesn’t cook, can’t change a bed? Yes you’re lazy very lazy.

Is there any chance you could have post natal depression? I don’t think he is being unreasonable. Surely part of maternity leave is to enable you to get into a routine how are you going to cope when you go back to work?
It sounds as if you are sleeping too much, this maybe habit, boredom or something underlying.

Dinner on the table, haha! I do think u shld be making dinner most of the time but easier I agree when he is home and can look after baby.

If baby wakes in the night or early morning, I believe u shld be dealing with baby and not him if he's getting ready to go to work.

The bed thing, u are being lazy. I hate doing the bed too and say I struggle to get the fitted sheet on properly which it true but not impossible. I make excuses not do to it.

The brew thing is strange. That's the type of thing surely u do when ur making one for urself. Is he expecting u to make random cups of tea for him 🤷🏻‍♀️

He's probably a bit resentful of ur mat leave. I think my dh got a bit like this and kept telling me it's not a holiday and I need to stay in more and clean the house etc. He was just jealous, I had a fab mat leave 😂

Sorry, I think you’re being lazy. I also have a seven month old (who is up several times a night!) and two older children. I manage to do all the stuff you mention doing and a heck of a lot more. I’m not saying I’m not knackered by it all - I am - but it needs doing so it gets done. I don’t nap.

From memory from student days, the more you sleep, the more you need it!! Maybe try being a bit stricter with your naps and get some stuff done in that time instead.

My dh does our duvet in the winter though, in its winter setting it’s a heavy beast 😂

If you have a baby who sleeps through to 7.30 and naps for 3 hours there really shouldn't be a reason why you are so tired. Have you seen your GP? I would get in a routine of making the tea in the evening as your baby should be on some solid food now so presumably at some point she will be eating with you. I used to do tea for 5-6pm for me and our 2 DC and would plate up a meal for DH to have when he came in from work. Are you going back to work after your maternity leave? Why does changing a bed hurt your arms? That sounds like an excuse so based on that it does sound like you are either lazy or disorganised.

Why on earth do your arms hurt changing a duvet yet you can look after a baby all day? Can you expand on this a bit more please?

Sorry but I would, and did, Consider my job on maternity leave to be getting up in the night -because my DH had to get up and go out and work for hours each day.
I say this even though I had an ADHD baby that only slept 3 hrs a night and only a 30 min nap in the afternoon but I was at home during the day so if I was exhausted (I was) so be it. I wouldn’t have impacted on DH at night because I was, you know, OFF work to look after a baby.

I would also make meals every night because, why wouldn’t I? If DH was out for a 9 hour shift plus an extra 90 mins commute I would feel pretty crap if I couldn’t rustle up a meal in the 10.5 hours that he was out of the house each day.

I think your husband has done well to bite his tongue for 7 months tbh. I mean
I do all the shopping, feed and look after baby in the day , put clothes in washing machine and also buy all the birthday cards we need for the year
If “buying birthday cards for the year” is all you can find to pad out your role that’s pretty lame. Changing the duvet hurts everyone’s arms, it’s an effort for everyone, get over it, but never even making a cup of tea?

Who is right ? Should I do more ??
I entertain our child all day and buy all her clothes , take her baby groups act

That’s what every parent does, everyday.
Your husband is right.
You. Should. Do.more.

We have lots of birthdays in my family before anybody says anything
And the duvet , it's like doing an assault course my arms kill afterwards

Yes, going by what you described your are being idle.
You could go to work and husband could run the house?
Go to the dr about your exhaustion.

Also he has called my cups of tea names in the past, like watery , I'm.very sensitive about this as my cups of tea have often being referred to as 'natts piss ' whatever the hell natts piss is I have no idea

Yes, I think you are lazy. I think you should see gp about being constantly tired though.

Oh OP I'm sorry but your thread has made me laugh! Buying all the birthday cards counts as contributing? Changing sheets hurt your arms? I would definitely go to the GP if you're that tired or love sleep that much. Your DH sounds kind to me.

Gnats piss apparently is a vulgar and unappetizing drink

Sorry, I think you're being very lazy. You can't manage getting dinner ready with one child who's only 7 months, and you can't do the occasional night tending? Your husband is working all day and is very supportive otherwise. If you're that tired you need to get it sorted.

I'm.very sensitive about this as my cups of tea have often being referred to as 'natts piss '

Is this serious, or a joke now?

Leave the tea bag in longer if you are sensitive about your lack lustre tea making. It’s not hard. Plus it shouldn’t hurt your arms.