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Parenting

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Original poster

What do you wish you'd known about the first 6 months??

92 replies

Spink · 08/08/2007 14:53

ds is just coming up to his 6 month milestone. just wondering what everyone else would've liked to have known about the early days...looking back at them from a safe-ish distance

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saythatagain · 08/08/2007 14:56

Oh blimey - I wish I'd learnt to chill out - about everything. I look back and feel quite angry with myself for not enjoying it all. I wish I could do it again but sadly 'tis not to be . Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

LucyJones · 08/08/2007 14:57

agree with saythatagain

It all goes by so fast in a haze of sleep deprivation. I wish I'd stood back and enjoyed it more, with both of them, didn't even learn my lesson 2nd time around!

happypiglet · 08/08/2007 14:58

That it goes so so so so so fast.....

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fillyjonk · 08/08/2007 14:59

agree, to chill and enjoy it

also when they are sleeping lots, go to starbucks and stay there as long as you can

god i cannot believe the baby yoga crap i got up to

Original poster

Spink · 08/08/2007 15:08

yeah, already I think I've been a bit mad to expect myself to have a huge network of other mums and babies, and be doing something constructive every day .
I also wish I'd made the most of it when ds was teeny and very portable, cos he slept and ate so easily. Now I have to be at home for naps and bfing - he so wants to look around at everything when we're out that he fights both..

OP posts:

thomcat · 08/08/2007 15:10

That it's so, so easy when they are that young and to cherish every single second becasue they grow SO fast.

fillyjonk · 08/08/2007 15:11

oh god re the huge network of mummy friends that the books tell you to make

i made most of my really good friends when ds was about 2, after dd was born, I'd stopped work, and ds actually had a personality and could interact

aside from that its like freshers week, you make friends desperately and then spend years avoiding them and their torygraph opinions

PrettyCandles · 08/08/2007 15:32

That it can take 20-25 minutes to settle a newborn to sleep, and that that is normal.

That there is no need to rush, that a baby, given the time to explore on his own, will latch on by himself.

In fact 'there is no need to rush' would probably be the mantra I would offer to any new mother, whether it's her first baby or her fourth. (Certainly I only realised the truth of it when my third child was 6mo.)

potoroo · 08/08/2007 15:56

That every relative I have on either side would offer "helpful" advice: all babies need a bottle of water, you should put rice in his bottle, you shouldn't be feeding more than every 4 hours, that other babies never wake up during the night etc etc

This time I have answers prepared

Also, I wish I knew that as long as I looked after DS the best I could, he would turn out fine (which he has).

Those first 6 months are hard.

paulaplumpbottom · 08/08/2007 15:57

I wish I had known that she would stop being a baby so quickly. She is 4 now, which doesn't seem possible. I don't think I could have cuddled her any more than I did, but I would try to fit more in somehow

Pidge · 08/08/2007 16:10

that babies cry because they're tired, and putting them to sleep is devilishly difficult!

that sometimes whatever you do your baby cries and you may not have the answer, don't beat yourself up about it

that when things are hard it seems like an eternity, but in fact the time goes by so fast

trust your instincts, believe in your good parenting skills, and ignore other people's advice unless you like what they say!

ProfYaffle · 08/08/2007 16:20

I wish I'd been a bit more balanced in my baby reading material. I read Gina Ford, the Baby Whisperer and Clare Byam Cook, I wish I'd read up on the AP side of things to balance it. I wasted time and energy trying to squeeze me and dd1 into a parenting style I now know doesn't suit us. I wish I'd been aware there are other approaches out there.

Original poster

Spink · 08/08/2007 17:43

What's AP, ProfYaffle?

OP posts:

LoveAngel · 08/08/2007 18:08

Wish I had relaxed more and not been so hard on myself...

Wish I had binned all those parenting guides...

Wish I had done baby led weaning (all that faffing with purees - unnecessary in my opinion)

Wish I had gone out a lot more with baby in tow - you don't realise how easy it is having a newborn until you have a toddler!

LoveAngel · 08/08/2007 18:09

pmsl@fillyjonk - you are so right.

primigravida · 08/08/2007 18:18

A/P is attachment parenting which is a more baby-led approach to looking after babies and involves responding to their needs promptly and carrying them around lots as opposed to trying to force them into a routine. At least that's the impression I'm under. Correct me if I'm wrong.

motherinferior · 08/08/2007 18:21

Fast????

God, my first six weeks with DD1 dragged on and on and on. An eternity of grey misery. Punctuated by total fecking strangers telling me sentimentally to 'enjoy it while it lasts'.

I wish someone had told me that it does get better and that it is perfectly OK to tell said sentimentalists to sod off .

paulaplumpbottom · 08/08/2007 18:24

I also would have accepted more help. I thought I could do it all myself and I could but the extra time would have been nice in hindsight

motherinferior · 08/08/2007 18:25

I really do wish someone had sat me down and said 'this is the worst bit, MI: hang on in there: ignore everyone who says they're blissful: you will get through it'.

sfxmum · 08/08/2007 18:28

that the first 6 weeks are brutal and i should have slept more when the baby did.

do not care about state of house or anything other that the basic essential day to day

but it does go by very quickly likewise the first 6 months after that it is the end of babyhood chill and enjoy while it lasts

theUrbanDryad · 08/08/2007 18:28

i wish i'd known that the early days are the easiest. i was so astonished to find myself with a baby that i didn't really enjoy him when he was really tiny. also, i thought it'd be really hard for the first few weeks then get easier and easier as the weeks and months went on, but it's just getting harder and harder every day (and less rewarding, tbh) ds is only 7mo though, so it might get better soon (hopeful )

LilianGish · 08/08/2007 18:50

That the first six months are in many ways the easiest - especially if you are breast feeding - though you don't appreciate it at the time. Babies are so portable - you can take them anywhere. The trouble is when it's your first it feels more like taking an unexploded bomb out with you.

Original poster

Spink · 08/08/2007 18:57

at the unexploded bomb. Literally an unexploded poo bomb, a lot of the time

OP posts:

ProfYaffle · 08/08/2007 20:17

Thanks for explaining AP primigravida. I'm not 100% into it I think like most parents I take a bit of each style but i wish I'd known that rigid routines aren't the only way to go.

PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt · 08/08/2007 22:23

Throw all the books out of the window and have faith in yourself. Everything is ok, there are millions of ways to do something and don't try to hurry a baby or teach it discipline.

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