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What do you wish you'd known about the first 6 months??

92 replies

Spink · 08/08/2007 14:53

ds is just coming up to his 6 month milestone. just wondering what everyone else would've liked to have known about the early days...looking back at them from a safe-ish distance

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SydneyB · 16/08/2007 18:05

Umm, that they won't just fall asleep when they are tired...

That breastfeeding is normal.

That routine is a load of bollocks.

SydneyB · 16/08/2007 18:05

Meant to say that breastfeeding ALL DAY is normal...

nevertoolate · 16/08/2007 20:25

Cuddle cuddle cuddle cuddle cuddle.
Ignore dh when he says "He needs toughening up".
Ignore dh.
Enjoy their lovely personality as it starts to shine through in those early months.
Feel very proud of yourself when you haven't followed those 'help' books and your baby is just fine and adorable.
Enjoy enjoy enjoy enjoy enjoy.

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chenin · 16/08/2007 22:15

I have just read this thread from start to finish... it is fabulous.

My two DDs are 18 and 15 and I was transported back to those early days... i have been off on a lovely dream of how hard but how wonderful it was. It brought tears to my eyes remembering.... it was such a special time the first 6 months and the hard work becomes a dim and distant memory and I just remember the good bits, aided by all your lovely thoughts here on this thread.

Its been a big day for us... A level results... and it seems like yesterday I had those babies...

aloha · 17/08/2007 06:27

To take more photographs of my babies with ME in them. I was so self-conscious about the baby weight that I refused to be in photographs, and I regret that so much, as that time will never come again.

scaredypuss · 17/08/2007 10:48

What a lovely thread. So many memories to be cherished. What I wish I'd known:
That wind eventually settles down.
That DD's weight gain is normal for a b/f baby - if she looks healthy and happy it's okay to ignore the red book.
Despite doctor's advice, a bottle will not, necessarily, make DD sleep through the night (luckily I found this out in time to not give up b/f. (thanks MNers).
It's normal (for her) to seem permanently attached to the breast, at some stages.
I wouldn't drop dead from sleep deprivation or be a crap mum if I survived it!
Eventually, it would not feel like my insides might fall out, every time I stood up. On a similar subject, to not feel guilty for ignoring DH when he hinted that we've reached the 'wink wink, 6 weeks after the birth' stage - made him wait at least 12!
To not have visitors for the first 2 weeks afterwards.
That moving house 3 weeks after the birth was a bad idea!
To take photos frequently, with dates on them.
To get on MN straight away, if I was struggling and ditto, contacting LLL.
Bin the 'parenting' books and 'advice' given by the "rod for your own back (ers)." And, therefore, ignore people who told me that:
"DD can manipulate you so you need to start discipline and routines early."
Even though most of my reading had been concentrated on the cognitive development side, I still found it difficult to present the point that DD's brain was not capable of "manipulation" at this age (no doubt, due to my iffy vocab. down to sleep dep.).
When DD cries, it was and still is, always for a reason (though not necessarily obvious to me). So never be afraid to pick up and cuddle. It will not make her clingy!
To have spent more time out in coffee shops when DD was more portable (despite the explosive poos).
BT anytime calls can be a life saver when you've moved house and/or are feeling a lonely, incapable mum.
To have known that some months later, I would look at DD, who is a smiley, happy baby (for the most part) and realise that I got a lot of things right.
That most of this is down to me (with a lot of good advice from MNers). Thanks for the memories, good and otherwise. Love the cave analogy.

KerriTJ · 17/08/2007 14:57

wished i'd enjoyed the times when they were in their bouncy chair and i could watch what i wanted on TV rather than CBeebies from am til 7PM!! aaargghhh!

bumbling · 17/08/2007 22:02

That the best piece of advice is to ignore all advice

To give in to what's happening and just let it all happen. To chill, not panic and trust your instincts. Routine, co-sleeping, who cares, do what feels right and makes you, DH and baby happy.

To believe you can do it and it will be fine.

To trust DH more and to give him a break, he doesn't know what to do either for you or for the baby anymnore than you do.

To go out leaving baby with Dh much quicker and to trust it will be ok, get your hair cut, go shopping, do soemthing without a baby attaced to you.

To fill the freezer before baby comes and make sarnies in the morning so you do actually eat.

To believe that you can take them out in the cold/warm in the buggy and learn to ignore tutting old ladies, and that not all babies like slings.

To know that the first six months can test your relationship to its limits but that when you get through it, well you know you can get through anything.

To remember that you do have dark days and moments, but that you have wonderful ones too and that both are totally normal.

To remember there are some things in life you have to experience to really understand, birth, death, marriage etc and that no one can really prepare you for what's coming. IT's all part of the journey.

bumbling · 17/08/2007 22:08

Oh yes, and even though in the first siz weeks you don't think the melon that's d appeared between your legs will ever go or stop hurting - it will. You don't do the just had a baby waddle for ever.

The weight does go but it takes time and necessiates taking smoking back up again.

myjobismum · 17/08/2007 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fatslag · 18/08/2007 13:18

When breastfeeding... NOT to watch the clock either between feedings or during feedings. No one told me that the feedings get quicker and quicker as the baby gets bigger and stronger. With DS1 I panicked as he went from half an hour to five minutes per feed, spent ages on the net looking up weird and wonderful remedies for producing more milk (fenugreek, anyone?). In the meantime, DS1 was putting on weight like a little hippo and gurgling at everyone.

With DS2 I just plug him on when he feels like it. I don't know how long he feeds for or how many times a day I feed him, but he is huge so I guess he's OK!

Flower3554 · 18/08/2007 13:49

That when you take a baby's nappy off it will pee on you

veryendoftether · 18/08/2007 20:11

That breastfeeding actually makes you fatter. My appetite is colossal, out of control. With my first DS I lost the weight when I stopped, not during. Which is no reason not to breastfeed, but a comfort with second DS and size a million

Turnipwurnip · 18/08/2007 23:05

I wish I'd known that after a year, hardly anyone would still be breastfeeding and I wouldn't be embarrassed about bottlefeeding in public any more

MyMILisDoloresUmbridge · 19/08/2007 00:18

veryendoftether, I'm with you! I assumed the weight would fall off! Mind you when I started on WW on 30 points a day, it fell off so God knows how much I'd been eating before then!
That I would get to know Oprah, and Geraldo and Ricki Lake Very Very Well.!

MyMILisDoloresUmbridge · 19/08/2007 00:19

Turnip, I wish I'd known the opposite! That bfing past a year was acceptable and that it was OK to do it in public. I did with ds3 though, took me 3 babies to figure it out!

MyMILisDoloresUmbridge · 19/08/2007 00:20

Oh yes, and that I'd greet dh when he came home from work still in my dressing gown!

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