Nursery and Bottles - 12 month old

[Tomasinaa]

My 12 month old has just started nursery. We are not in the UK.

She is a crap eater and so still drinks a lot of formula. I do try to give her meals BEFORE formula now to ensure it's not a case of being full but she plays with food and hardly eats any of it which I don't think is that unusual for her age.

When she's at home she has:
A 5oz bottle after breakfast around 8.00, she drinks it off an on until about 10.00
A 7oz bottle with her nap, around midday, and after lunch.
A 4oz bottle around 4.00, after snack but before dinner
A 7oz bottle with bedtime around 7.30
Between 7-10 oz overnight.

So she's still drinking absolutely tons of milk.

Nursery say really they don't let kids have bottles after 12 months, only cups, but they're happy to support me for a while. They also feed her to sleep at nap like i do.

My question is what is your 12 month old's (or around that age)day like at nursery or childminder - are they using a cup for their milk? If so how often do they have milk? If they've always fed to sleep, how does that work with a cup? During a nursery day of say 9-5, how much milk are they drinking in that period? Are they really now getting their main sustenance from 3 meals a day?

I'm so lost.

You are giving bottles after meals so I can't see anything wrong with your routine. The only thing I can suggest is slowly reducing the bottles over time so she eats more at meal times. She is only little still and may get a lot of comfort for the bottles.

With the nursery at that age they should still be following the routine at home as much as possible. I would let them know that you plan to slowly reduce the milk but in the meantime the bottles need to stay. If they kick up a fuss talk to the director or find a new nursery. I'm sure there is a policy about meeting babies needs you can point out if necessary.

Mum of 3 here. However I only bf. I fed to sleep when at home, but by 12 months kids slept in buggy/sling when out and about so could sleep without feeding. I have gone back to work each time.

I have found they just found another way to sleep in a different setting. By 12 months yes all drinks from a cup. And yes most nutrition from food.

I think you need to actively start reducing the formula so they are hungry enough to eat - they might just be waiting for the formula they know is coming. And when the formula is gone, just offer more food. I have done this with water when stopping bf, just saying gently there is no more boobie but if they are thirsty they can have a drink. It helps both of you feel you are still responding to their needs. I still bf them to sleep at night until 2 and after that had cuddles with boobs/nipple play for comfort for about another year. Each step for me was drawing a boundary but still trying to meet their need for comfort and responsive parenting.

Ps they ate more as they breast fed less once I went back work, so even feeding at other times affects appetite at meal times.

Personally I'd be working on reducing milk feeds - still sounds like a lot of formula. I don't tolerate any messing around with meals so drinking a bottle off and on for two hours would signal to me that she's not that interested. She wont be able to do that at nursery.

I found that switching to cow's milk made a difference - it's not as sweet so my DS isn't as interested. He went from having a 8oz bottle at breakfast and bedtime to a 4oz sippy cup at those times (and sometimes one at dinner) and even then doesn't have all of it. The sippy cup helped as well as he couldn't drink as quickly.

I would try and cut out the morning one first of all. Drinking milk from a bottle on and off for two hours will be really bad for her teeth.

My 12 month old has about 4 oz when she wakes up in a cup and then a 7oz bottle before bed so it doesn't come up at nursery. I would try reducing milk and offering yogurt or cheese in place for a while or offering water.

I need tips for getting rid of nighttime bottle!

My 10month old has a 6oz morning bottle, 4oz middle of the day in nursery, along with 3 meals, then another 6oz before bedtime.
Maybe go back to basics and offer her spoon fed meals? I think babies like the easiness of bottles so maybe she’l eat more if fed vs feeding herself?

My DS is 17 months and has a 9oz bottle of cows milk morning and night. He wouldn't take it from a cup. Could you reduce the bottles during the day and maybe offer a bigger one morning and night?

I weaned mine to tommee tipee cups for milk from 6-9 months. They are better for teeth.

Bottles aren’t good for teeth so I’d try and start using cups instead. That does seem like a lot of milk and probably very filling. At that age mine were having 3 meals plus snacks and then a few breastfeeds that were more for comfort.

That is a LOT of milk. Tbh most only have morning and bedtime bottles at that age and I'll bet that's why she's not picking up the food so well. I would defo work on minimising the milk over the next few weeks and the food will pick up. REALLY need to get rid of the feeding to sleep bottle.

She isn’t eating because she is full of milk!

At 12 months all 3 of my dc had gone from formula in a bottle to cows milk in a cup morning and night(breakfast and evening meal). I did feed to sleep until that age but it wasn’t an issue they just went into their cot after a cuddle and story(which was a familiar part of their bedtime every night anyway).

Well of course she's not going to eat much when she's full up on formula. As others have said cows milk in the morning and evening is the usual at this age, and in a cup as bottles are bad for teeth, especially if she's feeding to sleep.

You need to stop giving as much milk. Especially a bottle before dinner and allowing her to snack for 2 hours after breakfast on a bottle as that is really bad for her teeth.I would drop all of the before sleep bottles and replace with milk in a cup.

DD started nursery at 11 months but she had only been given a bottle by DH or I and won’t take one from anyone else so she would always ask for formula when we got home from nursery but after 12 months she only had the occasional bottle overnight.

Oh at after 12 months she had soya or oat milk in bottles over night. She has a milk allergy so no cow’s milk.

Our baby wasn't really interested in food. As she was prem she was still under paediatrics at that age and her paediatrician told us to reduce the milk at one rather than waiting for her to want less in favour of food. We did and it worked, pushing her to eat more. I think you need to start reducing the amount of milk you are giving her.

My friend's little boy wasn't very interested in food at 12 months and she was advised to reduce the amount of milk she was giving him so his tummy could actually get a bit empty and he could feel hunger for his food.

That is a lot of milk. I would work on reducing it. If she has no dietary (or developmental) special needs she is very unlikely to starve herself/end up nutrient deficient due to preferring milk, even if she eats less than you expect. A lot of one year olds eat like little sparrows but they are fine and thriving.

It's difficult and sometimes there are mixed messages, because if breastfed you can essentially use the breastmilk as a back up but with formula and bottles it's better to cut down. Just maybe try dropping one at a time and see how she does? She is on as many feeds as a baby under 6 months. Ideally they should start tapering down from about 9 months. So I don't think it would be a problem to take 3 months or so to reduce, if you want to do it slowly.

I agree the morning bottle sipped over a couple of hours is a concern, not just for teeth, but for food hygeine as well - you are supposed to discard any formula after an hour once it has been exposed to saliva.

If you're not in the UK do you have a paediatrician? Perhaps they could offer advice here?

Do stick to the first formula as well (I know you didn't say) don't switch to a type which is labelled 12m+ because these are often overly sweetened and don't contain as many vitamins.

Hi OP

With my DD, she had milk in a bottle til she was around 2 I think. This was only at bedtime. She goes to nursery and nursery don't give bottles after 10/12mths so she drank out of a sippy cup. She stopped drinking milk in the daytime around a year. Kids conform to what those around them are doing so don't worry too much. It'll be a harder habit for you to break than it will your child.

My son stopped on bottles around 1. No milk in the day for him either. He stopped his bedtime milk after a couple of months as he wasn't bothered about it in a cup.

I suspect that you'll find the eating increases when the milk decreases. They get their calcium from food once they're weaned and you can give multi vitamins too. Switch the formula to milk - maybe mix it at first so they get used to the taste. The night time milk might still be needed (I seem to remember we did actually give both kids milk overnight during growth spurts etc now I'm thinking about it) but the daytime shouldn't be at all.

By 12 months my dd was eating 3 full meals and 2 snacks a day. She was down to 1 bottle of about 3 oz first thing in the morning at 7:30 as nursery don't do breakfast until 8:30, then 3ozs at 4pm with a snack after her nap and 3oz before bed.

Never fed to sleep.

Now she's 18months she drinks her milk cold from a tommee tippee free flow beaker. We don't do cups unless its water as its messy still

It sounds as though she's having enough formula to pretty much fill her up. I understand your reservations but I'd aim to drop bottles straight away, starting with the 4pm. Tired, at the end of a busy day, I wouldn't expect many children would bother with dinner if they were filling up on formula as well as a snack at 4pm.

My DD had snacks to replace milk feeds, definitely not in addition to them.

She’ll have fillings in a few years if you don’t stop the snacking on milk.

Dd was breastfed, but she had a quick feed in the morning and then only food/water during the day and a feed at night before bed.

If you stop the milk she’ll eat more. And get a free flow or open cup. No more bottles!

Ok thank you everyone for the overwhelming response.

I'm going to start with a reduction in the amount of milk, and reintroduce the previously rejected cup.

My ds (17m) is breastfed first thing in morning, before his nap and after it and at bedtime then I think he’s attached and feeding most of night (we co sleep)
He also has toddler milk (soya) a bottle (6oz) each morning and one after his bath (6oz) again
If we are out and about he sometimes has a third 6oz bottle to replace a breastfeed

He also has breakfast lunch and dinner but doesn’t eat much. A yogurt and bit of fruit for breakfast, snacks lunch and dinner usually chicken ,salad or veg, crispy puff things, toast , avocado etc

Hi,
My 1 year old recently started nursery too.. and the great thing is, she suddenly started being a great eater after literally 2 weeks there! So it naturally happened that her bottles were reduced once she was eating more.
She has 6oz in the morning with me (6am), then eats breakfast, snack, dinner, snack, tea with nursery, and has a 6oz bottle going to bed. I send a bottle to the nursery with her everyday for her nap, but invariably she's too full of food, and might just have a small amount for comfort.