Nursery and Bottles - 12 month old

[Tomasinaa]

My 12 month old has just started nursery. We are not in the UK.

She is a crap eater and so still drinks a lot of formula. I do try to give her meals BEFORE formula now to ensure it's not a case of being full but she plays with food and hardly eats any of it which I don't think is that unusual for her age.

When she's at home she has:
A 5oz bottle after breakfast around 8.00, she drinks it off an on until about 10.00
A 7oz bottle with her nap, around midday, and after lunch.
A 4oz bottle around 4.00, after snack but before dinner
A 7oz bottle with bedtime around 7.30
Between 7-10 oz overnight.

So she's still drinking absolutely tons of milk.

Nursery say really they don't let kids have bottles after 12 months, only cups, but they're happy to support me for a while. They also feed her to sleep at nap like i do.

My question is what is your 12 month old's (or around that age)day like at nursery or childminder - are they using a cup for their milk? If so how often do they have milk? If they've always fed to sleep, how does that work with a cup? During a nursery day of say 9-5, how much milk are they drinking in that period? Are they really now getting their main sustenance from 3 meals a day?

I'm so lost.

[DonnaDarko]

I'm sure you'll find that she drinks less milk once at nursery cos she will see the other kids eating food and will copy them. The same thing happened with DS. At first we struggled for him to eat food at home but once the nursery started helping us with weaning, there was a massive improvement.

[TappyTin]

12 months means ditch the bottle and have milk in a cup morning & night along with 3 meals a day plus snacks. Standard, for every parent I know anyway.

[Tumbleweed101]

I don’t know much about FF as I bf mine but the babies at the nursery I work at tend to only have one bottle in a day with us at a year and some of them have even dropped them - I’d imagine they’d still have at least a bedtime one though.

They generally are eating a reasonable amount of solid food and taking drinks from sippy cups.

A good nursery will go along with your routine to begin with but they are probably a good place to start asking for advice if you’d like to start dropping milk feeds.

[Lovemybabiessomuch]

Thanks for replying and I'm not so sure he's saying nothing would change his mind and ok I'm not sure how to do my own thread as I'm new here but I'll try thanks

[INeedNewShoes]

Lovemybabies - you'll get better advice by posting your question in your own thread, maybe in the Relationships section or in Pregnancy Choices.

I'm not in a great position to advise you but I would suggest letting the dust settle for a couple of days and then talking about it again. It will have been a shock for your DP and his initial reaction might have calmed down a bit and be more open to discussing it. He's probably worried about the financial pressures of bringing up another child and worries of having the time and energy for another child.

[Lovemybabiessomuch]

Hi I'd like some advice so I have 3 children one dd thats 12 years another dd thats 2 turning 3 in december and a ds thats 1 and four months and Tuesday just passed I've found out that I'm pregnant which is a shock as me and my partner use contraception, so this is where I need advice I told my partner I'm pregnant he said he doesn't want anymore and he wants me to get a abortion he said I can do want I want but If I keep it he's not sticking around I really don't know what to do or think I told him it's ok for him to say that as his body isn't going through all of this I'm already feeling sicky and tired please help

[Felina]

I think if a child does one thing at nursery then they can do it at home. Sometimes they like to regress a little at home for comfort, but it can be a good idea to take the lead from nursery if they are showing themselves to be capable of more.

[CheesecakeAddict]

Also, I just want to add that children behave and have completely different thresholds of what they will accept when at nursery. Dd is 19 months and still only feeds to sleep with me. At nursery they put out her mat and she just lays down and goes to sleep. She started nursery at 8 months. Back then she was a terrible eater and still had many breastfeeds per day and refused a bottle. Within a few days they got her to take a bottle, and within 2 weeks she was eating 3 meals a day plus snacks. By 10 months old, she did not want milk at nursery at all. Yet, come the weekend, she would just want milk from me and barely touch her solids.

I hear very similar stories from other mums about nursery. I would keep an open mind about their practice and re evaluate if you think it's not working.

[Felina]

Thank God for that! Takes all sorts

[MamaFlintstone]

My daughter was down to approx 200ml cows milk morning and night at 12 months, but she ate much better at nursery than she would at home with me, in fact that’s still true. I think it’s the peer pressure of them all sitting and eating together, and it’s not unusual, so it may be that as she settles in she eats plenty there so you don’t have to worry about milk during the day.

[INeedNewShoes]

Don't panic Felina; I don't think that's the new normal.

I BF until 2 but there has never been any 'nipple play'

[Felina]

I still bf them to sleep at night until 2 and after that had cuddles with boobs/nipple play for comfort for about another year.
WTAF! Is this normal these days?

[CatToddlerUprising]

How much water is your DC drinking? Maybe offer water first, could be thirst as opposed to hunger

[AbbyHammond]

I think morning and bedtime bottles are still fine at this age (brush teeth after bedtime bottle though!).

Milk in a cup sitting at the table for snack during the day.

[Newyearsameoldshit]

My daughter wasn't keen on using a cup at home, but joined in with cups at nursery happily so I bought the same ones they used - ones from Ikea with a top/spout that looks like a dog. Wasted a fortune on Munchkin 360 and various sippy cups!

[user1483387154]

you are not doing anything wrong
My 2 year old still has breast milk morningnamd evening x

[irecitethegruffaloinmydreams]

Just one thought - my daughter absolutely refused to drink formula from a sippy cup but was happy to drink cow's milk out of it - I think she just thought of it as a completely different drink. She also preferred cow's milk cold from the fridge rather than warmed up. I think switching to sippy cups could help a lot as she might well drink a lot less out of them.

I would also suggest biting the bullet and offering her only water in the night, whether in a bottle or a cup. That will help with her teeth and might also encourage her to stop waking in the night, which would be a win-win.

By way of comparison - my daughter had one morning and one evening cup of milk when she was 1, both around 200 ml.

[Mammalian]

Hi,
My 1 year old recently started nursery too.. and the great thing is, she suddenly started being a great eater after literally 2 weeks there! So it naturally happened that her bottles were reduced once she was eating more.
She has 6oz in the morning with me (6am), then eats breakfast, snack, dinner, snack, tea with nursery, and has a 6oz bottle going to bed. I send a bottle to the nursery with her everyday for her nap, but invariably she's too full of food, and might just have a small amount for comfort.

[progestermoan]

My ds (17m) is breastfed first thing in morning, before his nap and after it and at bedtime then I think he’s attached and feeding most of night (we co sleep)
He also has toddler milk (soya) a bottle (6oz) each morning and one after his bath (6oz) again
If we are out and about he sometimes has a third 6oz bottle to replace a breastfeed

He also has breakfast lunch and dinner but doesn’t eat much. A yogurt and bit of fruit for breakfast, snacks lunch and dinner usually chicken ,salad or veg, crispy puff things, toast , avocado etc

[Tomasinaa]

Ok thank you everyone for the overwhelming response.

I'm going to start with a reduction in the amount of milk, and reintroduce the previously rejected cup.

[MustardScreams]

She’ll have fillings in a few years if you don’t stop the snacking on milk.

Dd was breastfed, but she had a quick feed in the morning and then only food/water during the day and a feed at night before bed.

If you stop the milk she’ll eat more. And get a free flow or open cup. No more bottles!

[INeedNewShoes]

It sounds as though she's having enough formula to pretty much fill her up. I understand your reservations but I'd aim to drop bottles straight away, starting with the 4pm. Tired, at the end of a busy day, I wouldn't expect many children would bother with dinner if they were filling up on formula as well as a snack at 4pm.

My DD had snacks to replace milk feeds, definitely not in addition to them.

[Lazypuppy]

By 12 months my dd was eating 3 full meals and 2 snacks a day. She was down to 1 bottle of about 3 oz first thing in the morning at 7:30 as nursery don't do breakfast until 8:30, then 3ozs at 4pm with a snack after her nap and 3oz before bed.

Never fed to sleep.

Now she's 18months she drinks her milk cold from a tommee tippee free flow beaker. We don't do cups unless its water as its messy still

[QueenEnid]

Hi OP

With my DD, she had milk in a bottle til she was around 2 I think. This was only at bedtime. She goes to nursery and nursery don't give bottles after 10/12mths so she drank out of a sippy cup. She stopped drinking milk in the daytime around a year. Kids conform to what those around them are doing so don't worry too much. It'll be a harder habit for you to break than it will your child.

My son stopped on bottles around 1. No milk in the day for him either. He stopped his bedtime milk after a couple of months as he wasn't bothered about it in a cup.

I suspect that you'll find the eating increases when the milk decreases. They get their calcium from food once they're weaned and you can give multi vitamins too. Switch the formula to milk - maybe mix it at first so they get used to the taste. The night time milk might still be needed (I seem to remember we did actually give both kids milk overnight during growth spurts etc now I'm thinking about it) but the daytime shouldn't be at all.

[BertieBotts]

That is a lot of milk. I would work on reducing it. If she has no dietary (or developmental) special needs she is very unlikely to starve herself/end up nutrient deficient due to preferring milk, even if she eats less than you expect. A lot of one year olds eat like little sparrows but they are fine and thriving.

It's difficult and sometimes there are mixed messages, because if breastfed you can essentially use the breastmilk as a back up but with formula and bottles it's better to cut down. Just maybe try dropping one at a time and see how she does? She is on as many feeds as a baby under 6 months. Ideally they should start tapering down from about 9 months. So I don't think it would be a problem to take 3 months or so to reduce, if you want to do it slowly.

I agree the morning bottle sipped over a couple of hours is a concern, not just for teeth, but for food hygeine as well - you are supposed to discard any formula after an hour once it has been exposed to saliva.

If you're not in the UK do you have a paediatrician? Perhaps they could offer advice here?

Do stick to the first formula as well (I know you didn't say) don't switch to a type which is labelled 12m+ because these are often overly sweetened and don't contain as many vitamins.