How much "time off" from your children do you get?

[YellowAndPinks]

How much "time off" from your children do you get in a week? I have a six month old and I'm with her pretty relentlessly unless I'm staying with my parents who will then watch her for a couple of hours here and there. DH is supportive but works full time so in a week I'd say he might take her out by himself for an hour, then on a week where I'm seeing my parents my mum might have her for two hours and the rest of the time I'm with her. I love spending time with her but find it so so relentless and very tiring.

Would be interested to know what time off other people have and how they manage and feel about it. I will go back to work but not until she's one.

Also - a big fear of mine is how I would look after my DD if I were ill. When I was pregnant I had horrible flu that lasted for about 10 days, what do people do in that situation? I've got a bit of a cold now and obviously I'm just getting on with it but it makes me wonder how people do it if they're properly ill.

When mine were babies I had no time away, maybe a shower when dh got home from work.

Now they are older, at school I have more.
Also my time away is when I’m at work which can be a lot of long hours.
It gets better.

I don't really get any time to myself. Baby is now 20 months. Dh works from home so when I need to do xyz he will mind DS. But I feel like I'm tied to the clock. I'll usually only leave him with DH if I have to do a few things in town and don't want to drag him in and out of the shops and car. If I have a hair appointment (rarely) DH will take him. DS is now asleep so my time is mine til he wakes up but I can't go too far (sitting room to do yoga). I get time to myself in work and in the shower. Not sure that counts.

DH did mention this morning about sorting out a schedule so we'll have a chat about that later.

And yes it is relentless and tiring. You're not the only one who feels that!!

Illness, unless you have someone who can take over then unfortunately you just have to suck it up and get on with it with your needs on the bottom of the pile.
I had no one so didn’t have any options.

That’s when you introduce them to c beebies and pepper bastard pig.

That was meant to be supportive BTW

These days it’s quite a lot (as they’re all at school and I work part time) but when my DC were tiny it was similar to what you describe. Agree it’s tiring and relentless. It doesn’t last forever, but if you are struggling here are some suggestions:

Join a gym that has a crèche
Talk to DH about getting a little extra time at weekends. Could he take DC swimming? That tends to take a couple of hours in total
Consider going back to work a couple of months early. Being at home full time isn’t for everyone and there’s no shame in that
Get out and about a lot in the day time (toddler group, park etc). I found the time passed much more quickly when I had adult company

Hang in there OP.

Unless you live in the same home town as parents it is very difficult. Even then unless grandparents are interested you are on your own as I was.

Don't really get any free time.

Me and DH are VERY lucky in that my parents are retired and do all childcare while we work. But that means that we feel terrible guilt asking them to have the DC any time we aren't working, and don't ask them unless desperate (for example, if we were going to a child free wedding).

And no-one else ever really offers to have them 🤷‍♀️ youngest DD is only 18 months and wouldn't stay with another other than us or my DP so essentially the only time we have child-free is when we are working!

I agree, it is relentless. I think everyone feels like that

Ermm... What about weekends? I'm. Assuming your partner doesn't work every weekend. Why can't you go out for the morning without baby and bbay ahve daddy time?
I'm at work or with bbay normllay but dp has baby 2 days while I'm at work. Men can look after kids alone.

I get to go to work every day does that count as time off?

My children are 4 and 2. I work 3 days so obviously child free then, but it's when I'm working.

I do a yoga class on one day off and my 2 year old goes to crèche (my eldest is in school). At the weekend I get 45 minutes when my eldest does an activity as I leave the small one at home and I take a couple of hours one weekend morning to go swimming.

That's regularly and then if something crops up like a lunch out etc I just leave with my husband.

We don't have any local family so just do it between ourselves.

My time off from my daughter is when I work my two jobs over the weekend

DS is 5 months. I have a 30 min bath when he goes to sleep about 8. And on sat and sun mornings I'm away 1.5 hours each day to go to a yoga class. I don't have family near by and DPs family don't help so I need those weekend yoga classes otherwise I will go mad.

I had tonsillitis last week and it was horrible looking after DS... I just put in the night garden on loads on my laptop in bed and lay with him... I could barely talk. I just kept feeding him, stroking his face and trying to smile. He seemed to really enjoy our lazy days ! 😂 but it was very hard work for me.

Four dc here so day to day, week to week I get no time without at least one of them. As the baby gets bigger I will have the odd night out so a few hours a month?

It's relentless and I wish we had more help but I also know how quickly they grow and won't always need us as much so I do try to enjoy it as much as I can.

None. I have 3dc (8, 6 &3) they are home ed so no nursery or school. DH works shifts and we have nobody willing to babysit them.
A day or night off would be lovely but not happening any time soon!

Right now they're older (past 5) then I can get away with Saturday afternoons by myself or the occasional evenings if DH does bed and bathtime routine.

babies and toddlers - forget it - but it was easier if they went down earlier etc

I have 2 kids (3rd due in 2 weeks) and get no time off as such from them.

My dh works full time, my MIL lives nearby but only really offers to help certain family members who “don’t get a break” (they actually get loads in my view but she can’t see that). We have a child with a lot of additional needs and never get one.

My mum works full time and due to ds1 needs I can’t use childcare though he is in school. The toddler is always with me as will baby be. Dh is hands on so we take it on turns to maybe have a bath or chill out a bit of we can but nobody ever offers to help to give us a break. Once about every 18 months my mum will have the kids overnight.

I try see it as a positive thing although it’s exhausting as both our kids are so close to us. My 7 year old has actually commented how lucky he is that his mummy and daddy are around so much when he has lots of friends and cousins that don’t see there’s as much.

I joined a gym with a creche. Heaven.

I remember when DS was a baby and I HAD to shower, he would sit outside the cubicle, still able to see me, but roaring at the injustice of being parted.

I'm fairly sure I didn't have any time off for the first 3 or 4 months. I remember the first time I did leave him - just to go to the paper shop - and how strange it felt.

When DS was that age I would go out on a Saturday morning and do the food shop alone, I'd have a coffee in Costa then amble around Tesco - it was lovely. Ireturned to work full time when DS was 9 months, so then 8 hours a day was child free.

Yes it is relentless and tiring! My youngest is 3 and starts nursery hours in September and can’t actually wait to get a few days to myself (from 9-3 anyway) I remember with my older child how life-changing that little bit of free time is!

I'm a single mum but his dad doesn't have him at all, I get two afternoons a week off when he's at nursery and about an hour in the evenings between him going to sleep and me going to bed.
Before he got his funded childcare hours I had no time off apart from naps as he wouldn't sleep till 10/11pm..😫

At 6 months pretty much none at all. My mum was happy to visit but not to have sole charge. DH maybe took her for an hour at the weekend once every couple of weeks but I was BF so always time limited, and also exhausted as DD slept badly, so there was not much I felt like doing!

If you are a bit ill you just get on with it. If you are very ill then your DH/DP takes time off. No idea how single parents without family support manage, it must be incredibly difficult.

It IS relentless and I am very grateful to be out of that stage tbh. But it does pass. They also get more fun the older they get. I would suggest you try to get out and about as much as you can especially over the summer. Pack a big bag, get on a bus, go somewhere. Baby will be entertained and less boring for you. Easier said than done some days I know.

Zero. We get zero.

We have a 5 year old and a set of 2 year old twins. 5 year old is autistic.

For health and logistic reasons, we don’t have relatives who can babysit.

So we get none.

I hate it.