How much "time off" from your children do you get?

[YellowAndPinks]

How much "time off" from your children do you get in a week? I have a six month old and I'm with her pretty relentlessly unless I'm staying with my parents who will then watch her for a couple of hours here and there. DH is supportive but works full time so in a week I'd say he might take her out by himself for an hour, then on a week where I'm seeing my parents my mum might have her for two hours and the rest of the time I'm with her. I love spending time with her but find it so so relentless and very tiring.

Would be interested to know what time off other people have and how they manage and feel about it. I will go back to work but not until she's one.

Sahm and mine are 4 and 20m. They’re both usually in bed by 7 ish, so every evening is child free time. I currently pay a babysitter to come for 2 hours once a week during the week to watch them both. Eldest does 3 mornings at preschool so it’s not too relentless with just one child. Weekends DH and I both try and have a few hours to ourselves and if I had anything specific planned then he’d look after them. Odd day out with friends where DH stays with them and we pay a babysitter for occasional date nights

Saturday lunch time to Sunday lunch time every week. I'm a lone parent though with disabilities so if I didn't get that break I'd have some real issues coping

(She goes to stay with my Mums, not her Dad - he doesn't bother with her at all, sadly)

*Mum

When I was on mat leave i had DS all day but would handover to DH when he got home from work for a bit of a break.
Now I'm back at work full time DS is in nursery and DH & I share evenings and weekends.
I go to a running club three times a week and the odd evening out with friends and DH trains for a triathlon and also the odd night out with friends.
My parents are three hours away and DHs are abroad so no help with childcare. We do try and have one evening out a month when my parents come and stay. Or at least a date night at home when DS is asleep
As for illness when DS was 4 months old I have a horrific d&v bug, had to call DH from the toilet I couldn't leave whilst holding a screaming DS to come home from work - I still shudder at the memory!

At 6 months, none at all. DH doesn’t work at weekends, but that’s really the only time we get to spend any time together so I never really wanted to go and do anything on my own.

DD is 2 now and has just started preschool 2 mornings a week. It’s bloody fantastic!

No time at all away from my eight month old. He’s still BF so I wouldn’t expect much time away. Longest we’ve been apart is about two hours, not so I could do anything fun I hasten to add!

When they were little I got virtually no time off bar the odd weekend away. Now they are both at secondary (12 and 14) and I get loads! They are in their bedrooms a lot when home and I work part time so have a fair amount of time to myself when they are at school. I love my kids but find this age the easiest of them all and the most fun when I am spending time with them.

Not much, tbh. We both work full time and don't have family close.

I have a 9 month old. DP is generally 'responsible adult' once he's home from work. However I use that time to cook dinner and catch up on some housework, then we do bath and bed together most nights. Every Tuesday I go to the gym and a yoga class, leave at 7pm and back around 10.

At the weekend we split pretty evenly. I'll have a lie in and some time at the gym, DP will have some time to go and play golf and we'll try and do something as a family.

DP often gets up with her in the mornings as well, he doesn't need to leave for work until around 8.30, back at 6.

I dont really understand why having a full time job releases men of any time caring for their child. In this house DP earns the money, I do the housework and cooking, we both care for DD as much as we can and get equal free time. In the evening we relax together once DD is in bed.

Hardly any time at all but I could if I wanted to. Last weekend I got my hair done and went for drinks in the evening so DP was home with the children pretty much all day. That was my first proper evening out since having DC2 10 months ago. I've popped over to a friend's for dinner a couple of times but that's about it. Once DP is home I don't really want to go out on my own! Going out with DP is a different story. We have absolutely no-one to babysit so we can't go out without the children. I'd love some time together but it's just not possible and I don't feel comfortable hiring a babysitter we don't know.

With a 1 year old and 4 year old, hardly get time to myself. I think that’s why I get so cranky when one of them isn’t sleeping well coz about 8pm to whenever I roll into bed is usually my time to myself. It is easier as they get bigger. I can be home with my 4 year old and get a breather to myself but my 1 year old will still needs my attention. I remember getting really ill when they were about 10 months and 3 and my DH wasn’t able to come home. My mum lives too far to help and didn’t want to call my MIL, almost too ill to do it. I still can’t remember how I got through that day. I felt so awful and had to look after them both. I was basically just making sure they got food and sleep that day and didn’t hurt themselves. Oh I also work, that’s a good break.

Full time sahm to toddler plus two older children at school. Looking after my toddler feels relentless (dh works full-time) and I have no extended family, so literally no back-up. If I'm really ill (i.e. sickness bug), dh would have to take time off work otherwise it's just a question of carrying on.

I enjoy being a mum but I find the whole thing a bit relentless - we have other stuff going on at the moment which is adding to the strain of things but I won't lie, as sweet and lovely as my little dc is, I am looking forward to them tottering off to pre-school because I desperately need more me time. I feel pretty isolated at home, I don't work because of organising childcare and the expense of it mainly in the school holidays x3 fees adds up. Most of the toddler groups that I have encountered have been pretty grim, although there are some better ones out there. Sometimes I watch people with older children just jump in the car and drive off after dropping their dcs at school and I can get a pang of envy, just because they can. It does get easier in terms of you can leave dcs to their own devices a bit more/they have more of a attention span so you can plug them in to kids TV to get a breather but I'd say the toddler stage is particularly difficult - sending them off to pre-school at 3 seems a bit more guilt free somehow. I try not to dwell on it too much day to day because there is not much I can do about it right now (can't bring myself to leave dc with childminder, dc is very clingy as well), so it is what it is.

The thing that keeps me sane is my hobby (which I can also do at home) and work around the dcs. I also hand over to my dh in the evenings to secure a bit of me time but there never seems enough of it!

I was a single parent for most of DD's life (ex not in the picture), in-laws were in a different country, my parents lived 200 miles away.

Worked full-time, so I at least got lunches to myself and often met up with friends. When she was young probably in the evening after she went to bed, other than that no. I had a few friends that I relied on for (free) childcare whilst I worked so I really wasn't in a position to ask. Once a year I would ask for the works Christmas do...

I use to be able to drop and run as she got older for sunday sports training or birthday parties. Or when I took the dog for a walk and she stayed behind.

Absolutely bloody none.
I wouldn't swap it for the world if I had the chance and all that, but occasionally it would be nice to have a trial run, wouldn't it.

I got similar to you at 6 months. It’s hard when they’re that age and you don’t always get your evenings either (I definitely didn’t with my first). Now they’re 2 and 3 and I get my evenings, my husband will often take them out for a few hours at the weekend or a day here and there and he’s just about to take them away for a few days without me for the first time - I’m so excited!!

On maternity leave I got no time, apart from the odd overnight from MIL

Overnight care of a small baby is quite a lot actually. In among all these people without support, I am always a bit surprised by the ones who really don't appreciate what they do have...

When I'm at work which is 3 days a week, and once a fortnight when he goes CM for a few hours. That's the day I get my errands done though so I don't get free time as much.

When mine were babies, dh happily looked after them despite working long hours, so I could have time off.
I went out with friends in the evening a couple of times a month, I went off during the weekend for a walk or shopping by myself.
I also did things that felt like I had time to myself like go for long walks with the buggy or go to an exhibition.
It’s not easy but those little time slots helped to keep me sane.

When ds was a baby I worked part time so was with him at least 4 days out of the week plus evenings and mornings obviously. When he started school I found it really difficult and missed those chiller days together where we could just trundle to the park or watch films or play at home.
Now he goes to his dads EOW so me and dp get a lot of free time. It's a nice balance and I do enjoy the adult time but I always miss ds when he's not here.

Not very much when they were tiny. I was a single parent with dd, I worked so she was in nursery 3 days. Her father started having jer overnights from being 2.5 so every other weekend from then.

Ds was ebf, so apart from a bath no time at all until he was about 11 months. The first time I left him for any length of time was to have a wisdom tooth removed.

Once he got to 15 months he started nursery 2 mornings a week so I could work from home.

It seems relentless but it doesn't last long. He's 5 now, and the baby days seem so far away.

I had no time alone at all until my twins were over a year, when I started a very part time job - this was mainly from home or with the twins in tow but once every 6 weeks I’d have a two hour meeting. No family around so we had no respite / nights off etc until my sister came and babysat for us for our birthdays just before they turned 2.

That was it until they started nursery two mornings a week at 27 months. They receive DLA as they are both autistic, and one also has a VI and other disabilities - applied for one first so his mornings were funded and now they both get it so they’re both funded. They’ve both recently started doing three mornings a week. They’re 3 in September.

I have endometriosis, adenomyosis and ME - since they were born I’ve had still undiagnosed issues causing pain and hormonal symptoms. I’ve also had cellulitis, a nasty eye injury, and pneumonia since they were born, and then there was the memorable week in December last year where we all got norovirus. My periods are worse each month and I’m going to need another surgery soon.

In terms of bugs, DH generally can’t take time off when I’m sick because he’ll generally get the same bug before or after me - since they started nursery the bugs have been on a constant cycle with at least one of us being ill most weeks over the last six months. I have no idea how we get through it to be honest, but we have to - lots of CBeebies and Frozen and breadsticks and iPads 🤷‍♀️

DD(5) is at school so she's away most of the day. DS is one (today!) and I don't really get a break from him. He's exceptionally clingy to me at the moment! DH has just started a new job, he leaves before they're up and doesn't get home until 7pm. DS goes up to bed at 7:20, DD at 7:35. We take turns with them.

But at the moment I usually get 90mins or so on a Monday whilst I do the food shopping (DM has DS) and maybe 30mins on a Sunday for a "peaceful" bath (DH has DC downstairs). Oh, and DS has a 2hr(ish) nap at 11am.

None. When she’s at school I’m at work. She sees her Dad for 4 hours once every 4 weeks. She has massive separation anxiety so I’m with her all the time - at times her anxiety is so bad that she can’t even be in a different room to me.

Earlier this year I was really ill with tonsillitis and we had to move in with my parents for 3 days so they could look after DD and I could sleep.

She’s 9. I’m pretty much running on empty.