Airy fairy parents

[Justamum28]

Is it just me or do others find the perfect parent airy fairy earth mother brigade SO irritating. Always trying to make people feel like not good enough parents because you don’t co-sleep or didn’t breastfeed or heaven forbid you used controlled crying!! Your child doesn’t eat healthy enough, are your nappies eco friendly, has your child been out 7 days a week. Just seems to be happening a lot more often these days

I blame social media and the vloggers with their vases of flowers in the background.
Perception & Reality!

Hahaha I didn't know what you meant it annoys me as we'll. Thought I get told am a tiger mom hahaha, as my son eats independently with cultery, and can say 60+ words and tells us what he wants an doea aowm sign language am like am only teaching him stuff. Hahaha I co sleep partially, didn't bf fed is best and he wears disposal nappies

But that’s the point of social media isn’t it, to show off the perfect life style & the perfect children and the perfect manicure, isn’t it. Especially at half term.

Or You could take your dcs out for the day and not look, and then it wouldn’t irritate you.

I totally agree, do what works best for you and shut up about it whatever it is. No one cares whether you cosleep or breast feed, or whether your baby says his first sentence at three weeks or three years. As long as you are not neglectful and act in what you feel are the best interests of your child you are doing ok. Btw I may be feeling grumpy with both my dc having descended on my bed and now keeping me awake but I also hate the way these threads invariably seem to turn into ‘oh yeah, I hate that too, here are three million ways in which I’m an amazing parent though’!

Sounds like you're really sensitive about this. People are trying their best, and maybe they want to share what works for them - don't worry about it.

I do take my children out, and I didn’t say I see it on social media, just in general even comments from other mums I meet out, although yes it is all over social media too which is fine when people post things themselves BUT it’s the comments from mums critisizing what other mums have posted that’s my bug bear and I really have noticed it more and more in the past few years

But we’re all entitled to an opinion op.

I don’t agree with cc. I think it’s best for babies to be bf. Why should I keep quiet about that just because some people disagree or are sensitive about it?

Because unless it concerns you or your children it really is none of your business, if that child is loved and well taken care of it’s no ones business how a parent does that. You are NOT a better parent for breastfeeding or sling wearing or co sleeping and a baby won’t die cause heaven forbid they cry for a few minutes. Parenting is the hardest job in the world without airy fairy mothers lording it up over everyone. It was not like this back when I had my first child.

It was like it when you had your first child

You just weren't as aware through things like social media.

If your baby is warm, loved and fed. You're doing it right!

You can join me with my belief that most babies and people are average and any slight differences in what you do now will smooth out over time.

If some of these things we get so stressed about had any real impact we'd be able to detect it in the adult population (like drinking during pregnancy).

Just stick to you doing you and let them be them and don't worry about it

I breastfed because it was cheaper, i co-slept because it was the only way for anyone to get any sleep, i have my opinions on the matter i just keep them to myself unless someone specifically asks..... and thats the difference!

Someone who takes their dcs out every day and gives them healthy food is a better parent than someone who doesn't bother though- clearly. All other things being equal.

If some of these things we get so stressed about had any real impact we'd be able to detect it in the adult population (like drinking during pregnancy). “

Drinking during pregnancy is a very stupid thing to do.

I think there’s a degree of insecurity on both sides, the mums who are desperate to tell you how perfectly they are bringing up their baby are looking for validation and recognition that they are doing a great job. On the other side, those who are irritated or upset (rather than a quick eye roll at their preciousness and getting on with their life) or those like pp who need to snap back with some different way in which they are a fabulous parent feel a bit threatened by the first type and want reassurance that they aren’t doing it wrong either. The reality is that every child is different and every parent is different. Just do what works for you and you will be fine!

IWouldPreferNotTo

“If some of these things we get so stressed about had any real impact we'd be able to detect it in the adult population (like drinking during pregnancy).”

Drinking during pregnancy is a very stupid thing to do.

You don’t sound like a very nice person.

The problem is that there are clearly ‘good’ things to do for your baby and no one likes being told so as they get all offended and insulted because they don’t like to be told what they are doing wrong or shouldn’t be doing. This did happen years ago via older relatives or friends but it didn’t upset anyone nearly as much as it does now, but nowadays everyone is offended by something or other

OP
I agree, it's nauseating at times, it's like they are the first person to have a baby and heaven forbid you don't breastfeed until they're 7!

I disagree with arseholes telling me that because I breastfed, cosleep, used cloth nappies, rear face to beyond 4, etc etc, I'm an airy fairy mum.

That's your issue, not mine.

For some reason some parents feel the need to judge other parents. It’s doesn’t matter what you do. I breastfed, and was constantly told my baby fed too much, and that because I fed him on demand I was allowing myself to have ‘no life’. I was also regulated berated for my baby’s lack of ‘routine’, again caused by feeding on demand. When I co-slept I was told I was creating a rod for my own back and criticised for not giving my child the chance to self-settle.

What I always found helped, was that I knew I was doing what was best for MY family. Was that necessarily best for anybody else’s family? Absolutely not. But then I don’t tend to judge others life choices. Be proud of what you’re doing for your children, know that you’re a good parent and you’ll find it much easier to ignore unsolicited opinions and advice.

Surely you're being just as bad by starting a thread about them calling them airy fairy earth mothers?! And you've highlighted specific parenting choices to make comments about?! Just judging right back.
Why can't women just respect each other's choices instead of judging and making fun!? Jeez.
If you don't like their social media, don't follow them! Just do you!

Definition of airy fairy: "impractical and foolishly idealistic", or "vague, impractical, unrealistic".

How are breast feeding, co-sleeping, and going out every day airy-fairy??
For me these things were survival techniques: extremely practical, and clearly necessary.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I disagree taking children out every day makes you a better parent than someone who doesn’t, children are ok at home sometimes and it’s ok for them to be bored it’s good for their imagination to learn to entertain themselves sometimes back in the day people couldn’t afford to take kids out every day but whatever you chose to do if it works for you is fine, healthy eating... some go the full way and no sugar, no treats, vegan etc that’s fine but the mum who gives a balanced diet and treats in moderation is also fine, I know I’m a good mum I don’t need validation I just don’t think it’s right for mums to keep tearing each other down over different parenting choices and I see it SO often. Parenting is by far the hardest job I’ve ever done in my life surely it’d be better for all parents if there wasn’t so much judgement

I think my point had been missed. Drinking during pregnancy like smoking have such a strong negative impact that it can be detected in the adult population. Co sleeping, etc. Doesn't have a measurable impact in the adult population