Airy fairy parents

[Justamum28]

Is it just me or do others find the perfect parent airy fairy earth mother brigade SO irritating. Always trying to make people feel like not good enough parents because you don’t co-sleep or didn’t breastfeed or heaven forbid you used controlled crying!! Your child doesn’t eat healthy enough, are your nappies eco friendly, has your child been out 7 days a week. Just seems to be happening a lot more often these days

If 'not dead' is your benchmark for good parenting then you've gone a bit wrong somewhere

OP. You'll meet these parents face-to-face at the school gates (the ones that aren't home-schooling). It gets no better....

That’s a shame you felt that but I’ve never seen/heard people critisizing those things and I’m not sure these things need normalising or people need educating as different parenting styles have been around for years. People know about co sleeping breast feeding baby wearing but people make their own choices for whatever reasons

@teaandbiscuits
The struggle; that's another subject on here that gets wearing. The sheer volume of women who cannot manage one small child, inane crap like 'how will I get out with a baby, it's so hard' 'he'll only sleep if there's a 3 ring circus to entertain him' 'she's feisty'
Raising kids is not rocket science nor do you need DH glued to you and on tap 24/7!

Isn't airy fairy something different?
The parents who don't bother to read school letters, seem surprised that they need to get they dc's to school on time etc.

Bookworm4 I fail to see how that fact that I chose to parent differently to you automatically makes me judgey
As I’ve said twice, my choices work for me and my family. That doesn’t mean they work for everyone and are the RIGHT way to parent.
I’m not sure if you are misreading or being deliberately obtuse.

Yes maybe megletthesecond I think I’ve worded it wrong perhaps I should have put ‘perfect parent brigade’ 😂

Yabu

Massive chip on your shoulder. Live and let live.

What’s the alternative to ‘airy fairy’, grim and dim?

The thing is, I get the look of death if I say FF is best for my child. Whereas those that BF get a pat on the back.

Quite frankly those that do not BF do get marginalised ime, I really shouldn't need to explain myself when I say FF is best for my child.

Justamum28 I was regularly encouraged to just give ds a bottle. I was called a martyr because breastfeeding meant dh couldn’t do his share of night feeds, and told I was making ds ‘too reliant on me’. I was also called selfish for co-sleeping as it ‘benefits me more them’

It doesn’t matter whether they chose to breastfeed, formula feed, co-sleep or sleep train. Some people are just judgemental idiots.

@valhalla
Calling a different method; that millions of people use barbaric is judgy. Extremely judgy. Putting a child into a routine and not pandering to every whimper is not barbaric it's sensible.

@teaabdbiscuits
I was replying to you and your response is fuck off? Deary me not had your coffee yet? ☕️

Book So your tone wasn't supposed to be sarcastic or patronising? Right...

@tea
I was giving my thoughts on the amount of ridiculous 'struggles' when there are real genuine struggles, that's not personal to you. I tagged you because you brought up struggles. Jeezo stop being so touchy.

Bookworm4 Yet again, you’ve spectacularly missed a key point of my post
Yes. I do think controlled crying is barbaric, and I’m really uncomfortable with the idea of it, so I don’t do it with my children. But I would never in a million years tell another woman “you are shit because you let your baby cry”. That would be judging.

And you’ve just judged my decision to “pander to every whimper* - so therefore your argument against judging has no substance to it whatsoever.

@YouLikeTheBadOnesToo ( not sure how to tag hopefully that’s t ) that’s just as bad I agree I personally have never heard anyone say that though.

And to the person who said controlled crying is barbaric is exactly what I’m saying, I personally couldn’t care less I have my views and that comment does not affect me but some poor parent sleep deprived really struggling close to depression may really struggle reading that

Mums feel pressure no matter what they do. You can’t win. I breastfeed, co-sleep, use cloth nappies, mostly do BLW, my baby spends most of his days outside... so could be considered one of those ‘airy fairy mums’ but I’m literally just trying to make it through the day. Cloth nappies are a piece of piss with modern washing machines, I breastfeed and co-sleep for convenience sake, he eats what we eat because spoon feeding is a ballache, and we get outside lots because we live in a tiny house and I’d go mental stuck indoors all day! I feel judged because my baby rarely sleeps through, because he’s not immaculately turned out, and because tbh most of the time I’m just about holding it together.

I know I’m a good mum I don’t need validation I just don’t think it’s right for mums to keep tearing each other down over different parenting choices and I see it SO often

Says the person who started a thread designed to pit mother's against each other on the basis of their parenting choices.

Where there is motherhood there is no sisterhood indeed.

If you are so sure if your own parenting ability off you pop and parent and leave everyone else to do the same.

@valhallla
You've missed the point because you're the one claiming to not be judgy not me 😂

You are totally entitled to parent how you choose so long as your children have their basic needs covered. However like it or not breastfeeding is better for babies and for mums too (physical health wise).

Also I actually think that we have an obligation to our children and other future generations to respect and protect the world we live in. Therefore I believe we should all be using eco friendly nappies. It's just good common sense.

As far as I'm concerned any other mothers could only make me feel bad/irritated if I felt guilty for my parenting choices...

Just let people get on with it. I'm too busy with my own to even notice/care what others are doing anyway.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
I’m out.

@Chocolateaddictionisreal Of course breastfeeding is best for babies and mums. In theory. Doesn't mean it is in practice. I bf DS for 10 weeks. Apart from one day, every single feed hurt me. He wasn't growing and the paediatrician put her foot down and told me to bottle-feed him. When I told someone who ebf for much longer, she said "maybe he has a tongue tie?". Like that hadn't occurred to me. Or the midwife. Or the HV. Or the nurses in SCBU. Or the private breastfeeding consultant. He had a tongue tie and we had it snipped at 2 weeks. DS just couldn't do it. He is perfectly happy and healthy being bottle-fed. The "innocent" questions about how he's fed just made a difficult decision even harder.

We use cloth nappies. I love them and I cringe when I think about the waste of disposables. However, I will never advocate cloth to others, because I don't want to be the judgey parent. I think it's important to remember that even though some choices are objectively better, that doesn't mean they are available or realistic to everyone.

I do hope your chocolate is organic

I genuinely don't understand why (or how) anyone would judge another's parenting choice.

We are all in the same boat. What works for you won't work for the next, so being holier than thou or waxing lyrical about a certain parenting method is non-sensical.
Babies are individual little people. They need parenting which is tailor made to their personalities and not what the newest fad, craze or 'guideline' states.

In fact, the guidelines change so often that not even a 'seasoned' parent would be in a place to judge.

None of us are better than the next. No matter how you feed, change, clothe or rest your child.