How many of you have a 3 year old who sleeps through the night and stays in their own bed?

[Summerdays2014]

Hi,

I have a 3 year old and he has not slept through the night in his own bed since July.
We have tried several things several times but after a few days we give in as we are so tired and it’s easier to let him in. It’s now got to the stage where I can’t take anymore and am sick of being woken up, kicked and not sharing a bed with my husband.

My husband thinks that most 3 years don’t sleep through and it’s not uncommon for them to sleep in their parents bed. Is he right?

Thanks in advance.

Mine did, then she potty trained and a sibling came along and now she doesn't!

Yes, both of mine.

I found it more efficient to get DS a full size single bed. Then if he woke up in the middle of the night one of us would take him back to his own bed and cuddle up with him for a while before creeping back to our own bed.

This is making me feel better. I thought I had really shit sleepers.
Dc1 - always slept in a cot/ bed. Slept through from 11months, moved to a bed at 18 months.
Dc2 - always in her cot/ bed but woke at least once a night until the age of 3! Is not 3.5years.
Dc3 - often ends up in bed with me and doesn't yet sleep through. Is 13month old.

MN is completely skewed - almost all the mums I know have toddlers that don't sleep through. My 3 year old is in with me from about 3am most mornings, more often than not.
I'd obviously rather he didn't, but with a 13 month old still BF, I can't be arsed to get out of bed to settle him back into his bed.
Do whatever works for you. Some people are lucky, some less so! They won't wake up and come into your bed forever!

My 3 year old still sleeps in our bed, I figure she will grow out of it eventually. Also don't mind as long as we are all getting some sleep!

Mine wakes up and tries to get into our bed probably 3 nights a week.

My 18 month old sleeps through on the other hand.

It’s not about routines it’s about the child. I was actually stricter with a sleep routine with my older one.

Mine always slept through and never slept in my bed and only woke up in the night to come and get me if they were poorly. If any of them were poorly I would sit in their room with them and then usually crawl back into my own bed at the crack of dawn - but only if I felt sure they were ok.

My DD, nearly three, sleeps through, and always has, which is down to a combination of luck and her foster carer probably having sleep trained like mad when she was a baby . (We adopted her at 8 months.)

I think sleeping through at this age is a perfectly reasonable expectation and while we've been lucky, we've also always been very clear that night times are for sleeping.

HOWEVER, DD is still in a cot. Whenever she's not, like in a holiday home, she plays merry hell, which is why she'll be in a cot till she's about 17

DS1 slept through at 18 months and DS2 at 14. At 2.2 and 7 both are in their own beds and no one wakes up at night. I wouldn’t be impressed if they did to be honest.

If he repeatedly coming out of his bed and running around, put him back in the cot. And if he goes batshit tell him he can only go back to the bed if he stays in bed and does not get out and if he does he will go straight back to the cot.

DS is nearly 4. He’s slept through in his own room since around 6 months. He has never once slept in our bed. Sometimes he does wake in the night and either cries or comes into our room, and sometimes he wakes up early, but 90% of the tine he stays in his room until his gro clock comes on. If he wakes in the night I’d go in and tuck him back in, but that’s all. And if he gets up early he gets sent back to wait for his clock

Mine didn’t sleep through until closer to 3.5-4 and she slept with us til she was about 3.5. I agree with your dh. I don’t know anyone with a 3 year old who was consistently sleeping through in their own room, except maybe friends who had the magic easy baby (their 2nd was not so magic easy). Wherever you all get the most sleep is usually the best place. My one who slept with us til 3.5 is 6 now and sleeps great, reads herself a book and puts herself to bed.

My two boys (now 12 and 7) have always been great, sleeping through from tiny for the whole night, no getting up unless sickness and no fuss going into proper beds from a cot.
My daughters however are a different story. Eldest one (10) didn't sleep through properly until 4, used to wake up about 2am and be wide awake and playing.
She was a nightmare going into a proper bed, I spent a lot of nights sat on the landing doing rapid return and listening to screaming. Then she went through a phase of nightmares and sleepwalking. Now at 10 she still has the occasional sleep walk/talking sessions where I have to go and guide her back to her room 😬
Littlest one is nearly 2 now and sleep is definitely for the weak with her. She's still in a cot in my room but she fidgets and sleep talks and kicks the sides. Most nights she wakes between 12-3 for an hour before I can convince her to go back to sleep, then she feels 5 is acceptable for getting up.
They're all so different 💁🏼‍♀️ I feel you though, when they don't sleep it's very draining!

Both mine (now 4 and 2.5) sleep through the night and stay in bed until their gro clocks light up (6.45). Then they immediately decamp onto our bed. If they are ill or have a nightmare we get up and soothe in their room. If we need to stay with them we sleep on the floor of their room (fold out single mattress). We had to be consistent in putting them back to bed if they got up before then but didn't take long because they are both good sleepers generally (they were horrendous for the first 12 months).

Thank you everyone.
We are going to start putting him back in his bed tonight every time he wakes up. No conversation, no messing around, no giving in... simple yes?

All of ours stayed in their beds because i'd just take them back if they got up. By 3 they'd sort of given up getting up.
But we had a never in our bedroom rule.
Only 2 slept through, dd still doesn't and she's 15. Usually a few hours then wakes for a bit then sleeps again.

DD always did.

Hoping DS will be the same. He’s only 10 weeks right now though.

Eldest was very disturbed until he was about 3.5 (when he became very easy - no problem to put to bed, rarely up in the night) - we gave in and put his bed right next to ours so he was close, if not in the bed with us (although until 3 he was in the bed by morning no matter what, because he liked a sleepy morning breastfeed)

DS2 went in with DS1 when he was about a year, so has only been an occasional visitor - but he was always easy and slept through from about 5 months.

OP, even though we didn't have dc in our room, there were times when they were unsettled.
You can help get them used to staying in their own bed by making it more attractive than yours.
Does he have a special bed with bedding he chose, maybe ask how he'd like his room and encourage him to look at books or play quietly if he wakes up.
We did this with ours and it worked, except for dd.

Good luck OP.

Although DS slept well once asleep, he would take ages getting to sleep, but we taught him he had to stay in bed, could play with his cuddly toys (read when older) but no getting out and coming to us etc. At 14 he is still rubbish at getting to sleep. We just accept that is the way he is

My 2 year old has never slept through the night, and is always in our bed by 1-2am, but I’m different because I love it! I would rather she slept through, but happy for her to be in with us until whenever she wants.

Did Gina Ford with both mine and they slept through from 4-6 months.

Watch Super Nanny for evidence of how quickly ‘rapid return’ works - my BF did it at 2 and it took 3 days!

I think you have to take a few days of AL and just bite the bullet.

I don't see why any child should be up in the night

Then don't comment if you cannot grasp that some children are different.

My oldest was, not lots, but he dreamed intensely, had a very active mind and would need a lot of reassurance when separated from us. We ended up moving his bed next to ours whilst he learned he was ok, everything was ok in the night, he was safe etc. The middle one was much better. But as she got older and became more aware she started shout out in her sleep. Constantly. Sometimes it woke her up and then she would be confused where she was and need a bit of help settling again. She would often have bad dreams, and would want the comfort of me so I sometimes let her come in my bed and then she would sleep. As she got older and could understand better that she was fine, it was only a bad dream, shed go back to her own bed and sleep fine, and the dream shouting would eventually stop. The youngest slept through like a dream and we've had no troubles with her.

My sil's oldest was a perfect sleeper too, but her youngest would wake at least once a night every night (and still does at three). Same routines etc, but different children mean different needs so some do still wake, no matter what the Perfect Brigade You Must Be Doing Something Wrong say.

My three year old does, unless she’s sick or has had a nightmare. I didn’t réalise we were lucky that way, tbh.

My little one is almost 2 and she sleeps through and in her bed all night. We went through a really bad spell in winter when she wasn't well and teething, she was in every night and it was getting earlier and earlier, it was grim so I feel ur pain and even worse as a 3 yr old is even bigger.

It's not unheard of but by 3 I'd say most kids are sleeping in their own bed and sleeping through most nights. I don't know how you fix this though it won't be easy.

Both my dc slept the full night in their own beds in their own rooms from being a few months old. They were good sleepers though and rarely woke in the night and if they were ill we'd go to them because having them in our bed was awful tbh and noone got any sleep.