Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

DD doesn't call me Daddy :-(

119 replies

Manc1993 · 05/04/2019 13:30

My 2 year old daughter calls me by my first name instead of Daddy. I gently tell her to call me daddy but nothing has changed and still calls me by my name. This is concerning me and I need your advice. My daughter always calls my partner mum or mummy, so is there something I am doing wrong or is it just a phase that she will eventually grow out of. I give my daughter all the love and attention I can give and feel a little aggrieved and upset that she doesn't call me daddy or dad. I need your help

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
SosigDog · 12/04/2019 11:03

I call my father Dad. I have always called my mother by her name because she mentally tuned out my wails of Muuuum!

Original poster
Manc1993 · 12/04/2019 11:10

I have come to the conclusion that she just says it because she has heard other people around her call me Trevor and that she will eventually grow out of it and refer to me as Daddy. I took it personally at first but have learned from other mums and dads on here that its a common phase that 2-3 year olds go through. Our DD never refers to her mother (my partner) by her first name so I feel a little put out that she doesn't call me Daddy. Hope you all understand

OP posts:
Original poster
Manc1993 · 12/04/2019 11:13

Other than the name complex I love my DD to bit and wouldn't change her for the world but I wish she called me Daddy :-)

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families General parenting
AnnaMagnani · 12/04/2019 11:52

Just keep reinforcing the Daddy - referring to yourself as Daddy, partner saying Daddy, everyone else saying Daddy.

Apparently at that age I referred to my parents as Darling as that's what they called each other - they thought it was cute and hilarious so just let me roll with it.

NightmareLoon · 12/04/2019 12:01

My DC did this too, between the ages of 2-4ish. I think my husband may have encouraged it at first because he thought it was funny. Hmm

Anyways, what I said to get when she was older (and understood what mummies were) was that she was the only person who got to call me mummy.

Ohyesiam · 12/04/2019 12:02

She doesn’t know what thinking of you as daddy means.
Don’t take it personally.

Windowsareforcheaters · 12/04/2019 12:03

My youngest son who is now 18 has always called me Windows and my partner by his first name.

We tried to gently discourage him but he was determined. It is a feature of his personality, he is a strong character. He sees himself as being on the same level as adults and always has, he doesn't do deference of any kind.

He is polite but he does not suffer fools gladly his opinions and views are just as valid as any grown up. He argues using evidence and facts and well constructed points.

How no one has punched his lights out I don't knowWink

KittyConCarne · 12/04/2019 12:18

Oh I feel for you, but exactly as PPs have said- don't take it to heart, keep using "Daddy" in sentences/ directions to her, get your DP to refer to you as Daddy, and eventually she'll just say it naturally to you.

I had 8 years of being "Kitty" to my 3 DSC before we had our first DD. I was so looking forward to being called "Mummy" and then DD1 just started calling me "Kitty" as well, because that's how my DSC referred to me!
I felt sad, then amused, then frustrated lol.
It took until she was about 3 for her to call me Mummy consistently (and now she's nearly 9 and it's "Mum? Mum? Muuuuuuuum?!").

My DP had to always refer to me as Mummy ("Do you want a cuppa Mummy?") in front of her or to her, and we asked the DSC to do the same- not to call me Mummy themselves (as they have their own DMum obviously), but they would say things like "DD1 go find Mummy" or "Mummy's cooking dinner" etc.
It's just a phase honestly- I'm sure it is no reflection at all on her bond with you Smile

Roomba · 12/04/2019 12:31

I remember DS2 did this at the same age. He was just used to everyone else calling Daddy by his name, so he copied. His dad was a bit put out by it, but we didn't give it a huge reaction and I tried to remember to call my partner Daddy (which felt very weird) for a bit in front of DS. The phase soon passed, they always had a good bond so it wasn't personal.

motheroftinydragons · 12/04/2019 12:50

Ah, don't worry too much. My three year old heard my mum call me by my name the other day and keeps calling me it now and laughing. I just ignore it and when she comes over because I've ignored I say 'my name is Mummy, say that if you need me' every time and don't react other than that.

Just make sure she hears people calling you Daddy for a while and she'll soon forget all about your actual name. It's not personal it's just a novelty. She can't possibly understand that it hurts your feelings, small children just don't have the capacity to understand adult feelings.

YouBumder · 12/04/2019 12:54

Don’t listen to idiots like mindutopia . I’ve known lots of children, mine included, with engaged parents go through phases as youngsters of calling parents by their first name. As for this bollocks

Mine didn't even know we had first names then!

What the fuck ever. Do you not interact with other adults in the presence of your child ever?

Just keep telling her that you’re daddy and she’ll get it in the end :)

SoyDora · 12/04/2019 15:00

Mine didn't even know we had first names then!

Confused Mine have always known I have a first name, because my friends/relatives etc call me by my first name. Sometimes when we’re with friends mine will use my first name accidentally because everyone else is using it!

Original poster
Manc1993 · 16/04/2019 12:07

Thanks for all the lovely posts ❤️ I keep hearing my DD call me from the bedroom when she needs me and it's sounds more like Father than Trevor. It's sounds like Fether 😀 or she'll address me as Dada Fether lol. At least progress has been made

OP posts:
Original poster
Manc1993 · 16/04/2019 12:12

DD even calls me Mom or Mommy sometimes x

OP posts:
WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 16/04/2019 12:12

I assume that the OP's doesn't refer to the OP as 'Daddy' when talking to their DC. Which is odd in itself - why would you say 'ask Trevor if he can help you with that' to your child, surely you would say 'ask Daddy if he can help you with that'?

Have I got that right, OP?

Original poster
Manc1993 · 16/04/2019 12:15

Good thing is that there is a definite bond because when I say Daddy to my DD she reacts and responds so at least she knows who I am Smile she just doesn't know how to address me yet.

OP posts:
hereiamonmnagain · 16/04/2019 12:20

I apparently called my mum and dad by their first names till I went to school. I have zero recollection of that, it's just something they humorously tell me.

As far as I'm concerned, they're mum and dad (they are mummy and daddy at first but I'm in my 40s now so I'm beyond that phase now Wink).

I wanted to say 2 things:

  1. Don't make a big deal of it. Let her call you Trevor - I think, like me, she won't remember when she's older. At school everyone will be talking about 'Daddy' and that's when she'll change, if not before. But if you make a big deal of it, asking her to call you Daddy, she might hang on to it and/or remember it.
  1. I think part of this is to do with the comment you made about not actually liking your name. So try to find a way around that for your own sake too.
Original poster
Manc1993 · 16/04/2019 12:33

WeepingWillowWeepingWino - My DP has started to refer to me as Daddy Infront of our DD and she is slowly picking it up and calling me Dadda or Daddy a bit more which is progress. When I hear my DD call me now it sounds more like Father not Trevor :-)

OP posts:
bookmum08 · 16/04/2019 12:41

Don't worry about it. In a few years time she will just be calling you "daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad".
Seriously though it's fairly common and she is just learning.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 16/04/2019 12:47

ah yes, the stretching of a single syllable word into half a dozen syllables and accompanying variations of whine.

'Mu-u-u-u-u-m, my duvet's fallen off the bed [insert pointless wail of choice]!'
'Sort it out yourself, I'm watching Game of Thrones!'

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 16/04/2019 12:58

Not with titles but with names, one of ours had difficulties if there were two people with the same name. Your dd might find that Trevor is more definitive if she is around other children and their fathers. Or reading stories about Daddy may confuse her. Getting everyone in her earshot to refer to you as Daddy will work eventually.

My3boys9910 · 27/04/2019 09:43

My son done this for a while calling his dad by his first name...my partner works...i stay at home...so i thought it was seeing him less & hearing me refer to him by his name...i also have 2 sons by previous partner who call him by his first name...but its slowly daddy now with perseverance...dont be offended

Original poster
Manc1993 · 13/05/2019 10:30

Thanks for all your lovely comments it's a great help x my DD refers to me as mum or mam when she wants my attention. I know she is still learning and her language is coming on leeps and bounds but it can be frustrating :-)

OP posts:
steppemum · 13/05/2019 10:41

she is copying what your partner calls you, and it is actually quite common in first children.

Get your partner to refer to you as Daddy, and make a bit of a thing of it for a few weeks - dd, can you give this to daddy? dd, daddy's going to read you a story. etc.
Do the same with yourself, so - dd, come to daddy, instead of dd come to me. dd, daddy's doing bath time tonight, let's go etc

ATowelAndAPotato · 13/05/2019 12:07

Keep going, be patient, it will come. Our DC are 12, 6 and 5 and my DH and still still refer to each other as Mummy and Daddy particularly in front of the youngest. Once you get in the habit it’s hard to stop! She will adapt over time. She’s had two years of hearing mummy call you Trevor, she’s not going to learn daddy overnight but sounds like you are making good progress.

Swipe left for the next trending thread