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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

DD doesn't call me Daddy :-(

119 replies

Manc1993 · 05/04/2019 13:30

My 2 year old daughter calls me by my first name instead of Daddy. I gently tell her to call me daddy but nothing has changed and still calls me by my name. This is concerning me and I need your advice. My daughter always calls my partner mum or mummy, so is there something I am doing wrong or is it just a phase that she will eventually grow out of. I give my daughter all the love and attention I can give and feel a little aggrieved and upset that she doesn't call me daddy or dad. I need your help

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Iamthestorm · 05/04/2019 14:12

My lo did this too for a while and I turned it into a game...calling her by different names etc..,she loved it. My advice to you would be to go playful wherever possible and it will soon pass.

One other small point...an adoptive dad/daddy is no less of a dad/daddy to their child than you are to yours so I don't think that should cause you too much upset.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 05/04/2019 14:13

You seriously thought Mrs May was suggesting your dd called you manc?

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 05/04/2019 14:13

Mrs Jay even

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Original poster

Manc1993 · 05/04/2019 14:17

Thanks for the great advice from you all I will definitely take it all on board. I think she will eventually grow out it but I keep politely telling her to call me daddy and have done for the last 4 months but she always calls me by my first name

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Goldmandra · 05/04/2019 14:18

What matters is that other people use Daddy when talking to her about you. It sounds like maybe her mother doesn't do this?

Your DD is too young to have a concept of different names having significance so she isn't commenting in any way on her relationship with you or her feelings about you. She is just using the sound-label she has learned for you.

Please don't ignore her if she uses her familiar label for you. Correct her if it's important to you and make sure that the adults around her are all using the label Daddy when talking to her about you. Unless she has some sort of social communication issue, she'll soon get the hang of it.

Original poster

Manc1993 · 05/04/2019 14:18

No I just want anyone on this thread thinking I am called manc hahaha.

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Original poster

Manc1993 · 05/04/2019 14:19

I just don't want anyone on this thread thinking I am called manc (correction)

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Original poster

Manc1993 · 05/04/2019 14:21

MrsJayy - Thanks for the post I really appreciate your help and advice. Hope your weren't thinking I was being funny

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Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 05/04/2019 14:22

Nobody did you berk!

MadeleineMaxwell · 05/04/2019 14:24

My nearly 4yo does that sometimes and thinks he's being hilarious. I just laugh and call him by a ridiculous shortening of his name that rhymes with mine and he giggles like a loon. He soon goes back to calling me mummy.

If you chill out, your DD probably will too. Don't make it a big deal.

salsamad · 05/04/2019 14:24

Try not to worry Manc1993.
Our DS went through a phase of calling his Dad by his Christian name at about 18 mths old. He had good language skills and was very chatty. I think he just picked up the fact that I used my DHs Name a lot but I also did refer to him as Daddy to DS.
My husband wasn't too bothered by it and I explained it was just a phase he was going through in exploring language. My husband responded to him as normal when DS used his name and we did not correct him but tried to use Daddy a lot more between ourselves in conversation.
He stopped doing it after a few months and then invented an invisible friend called MateDave (who was a bit naughty) - my husband is a heating engineer/plumber and had a plumbers mate who he worked with called Dave .

Original poster

Manc1993 · 05/04/2019 14:26

I think its due to the fact that my partner will call me by first name and not daddy. She has started referring to me as daddy when talking to our DD but nothing has changed and our DD still addresses me by my first name. I think she will eventually grow out of it but it nirks me a little

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Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 05/04/2019 14:27

Just keep at it making sure your partner refers to you as daddy, it will register don't worry..

Original poster

Manc1993 · 05/04/2019 14:32

I am chilled about it but my partner gets annoyed with me if I keep correcting our DD which I understand but I want to avoid us falling out over this. This morning when she addressed me by my first name I said "no darling its Daddy" and she replied NO!!! maybe she doesn't like the word daddy or she prefers to address me by my first name instead at this stage.

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Original poster

Manc1993 · 05/04/2019 14:37

She sometime calls me mum or mummy but more often than not by my first name Trevor. I will talk with my partner about this and ask her to refer to me as daddy and not by my first name. She will probably listen to her mum more than me

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SaskiaRembrandt · 05/04/2019 14:39

When my oldest son was that age he used to call me 'darling' because that's what he'd heard his dad calling me and seemed to think it was my name.

Lllot5 · 05/04/2019 14:40

Wait till she’s a teenager she’ll call you worse than that. Seriously it’s just phase mine all did it at one point, a long time ago now we used to get some odd looks when we were out. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Original poster

Manc1993 · 05/04/2019 14:42

How do I log out of my account? I am new to the site and I can't find where to log out. Thank you all for all your great help and advice I will be back on soon to check any further messages. Love to you all x

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babyontheway94 · 05/04/2019 14:43

My 2 year old is currently doing this too... I know it will pass. She uses first and surnames though for her dad! So eg: *'john Smith can I have a yogurt please'

I think it's just her learning that we have names too and what names actually are and what they mean.

I'm sure she won't be doing it for long

SaskiaRembrandt · 05/04/2019 14:43

Go to the top right on the page, click 'My Mumsnet' and select 'logout' from the dropdown menu.

TooTrueToBeGood · 05/04/2019 14:53

I would just stop responding when she calls you by your name, though don't let her get too frustrated. She'll soon get the message that if she wants your attention "daddy" is the most effective way to address you. Be warned though, even children as young as 2 learn that it's fun to wind someone up so she may do it for a laugh. Don't burst her bubble if she's just having fun with you.

somuchinfo · 05/04/2019 15:40

I would get your partner to ref to you as Daddy, all the time even when she is speaking to you within earshot of Dd she has clearly picked it up. And every time she calls you by first name just as you are doing say my name is Daddy

corythatwas · 06/04/2019 17:18

The secret to parenting a toddler is to be so focused on the job that you don't depend on them making you feel good about it. Basically, she can't make you feel a lesser or a greater parent, that is not in her gift, she is too little. Your job is just to BE her parent, to be the strong unshakeable loving permanent in her life.

If any reinforcement about your name is to come it should come from your dw: the last thing you want is for your dd to pick up that you don't feel very confident about your relationship.

And I speak as the woman whose 2yo once cheerfully looked forward to the day when she would be grown up because I would be dead then. Dd is now grown up, I have no intention of dropping off the twig for a while yet and I think she is quite pleased about that.

Amongstthetallgrass · 06/04/2019 17:28

Trevor

I’d keep reinforcing it.

‘Daddy open the door for you darling’
Daddy help you putting your shoes on’
Daddy loves xxxx’
Come and play with daddy

Kids are savage. Don’t take it personally. Just concentrate on being her daddy.

Amongstthetallgrass · 06/04/2019 17:30

I purposely used to get dds to call there dad by his first name. Used to wind him up so much.

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