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Parenting

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Original poster

Am I right to insist dinner is tried?

83 replies

Mesosleepy · 16/02/2019 19:04

I'm writing this as my 22 month old is crying in his highchair after refusing yet another meal.

He's been in the chair for an hour now on off crying and headbutting the tray and general upset at me making him try his food.

He is proper sobbing now and I don't even know whether this is worth it.
I am sick of him not even trying food and reached the end of my tether tonight and I'm not letting him out until he has tried some.
I've told him this and told him he can have a yogurt as soon as he's tried some and then a bath (he loves baths) but it's now become a battle of wills and I'm really not sure I even want to win now, seeing him so upset, but then surely that would mean this has all been for nothing and he knows I'm not going to follow through on my word.

He is proper sobbing and I wouldn't normally let him get like this e.g. I don't let him cry it out but I am so fed up at this refusal to even try food. I'm not expecting him to eat it all. He desperately wants his yogurt and a bath.

Should I hold out?

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TheDistantSky · 16/02/2019 19:06

He's just a baby...I wouldn't hold out. He's just going to get more and more upset. Let him have his yoghurt and bath.

Start afresh tomorrow using a weaning guide for which foods to introduce in turn and don't make it a huge battle or he will become scared of trying anything.

cucumbergin · 16/02/2019 19:07

No, please let him out. Cuddle to calm down, then bath/yogurt.

dementedpixie · 16/02/2019 19:07

What food is it? I don't you should turn it into this much of a battle. Has he eaten much the rest of the day?

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StrippingTheVelvet · 16/02/2019 19:10

Aw he's just a baby! Poor dote . It'll taste rank by now and make him even less likely to want it next time.

Disfordarkchocolate · 16/02/2019 19:12

At 22 months this will happen every now and then (or even a lot), don't make food a battleground focus on making meals social and friendly times.

Original poster

Mesosleepy · 16/02/2019 19:13

It's chicken, potatoes and feta in a tomato sauce. All food he's tried before and I know he likes.
A weaning guide? He's almost two and has been eating what we have eaten for well over a year.

He's had weetabix, a bite of my sausage sandwich, a piece of bread for lunch and some cheese, then a satauma and cereal bar as snacks. He had peas and swwecorn for lunch which I know he likes, but refused to touch them
He is like this every day- refuses actual meals and only likes to snack.

OP posts:

user1493413286 · 16/02/2019 19:13

I think he’s a bit young to be honest; my DD is 22 months and I don’t think she would respond well to that approach.
I know how frustrating it is (having watched a dinner be thrown on the floor this evening) but making food into a stressful battle of wills doesn’t end well in my experience

KipperTheFrog · 16/02/2019 19:16

For my 4 year old we insist she tries some. For my 2 year old we don’t. Over time we’ll insist the younger one tries food, but she’s still little. As long as she eats, we’re happy.
His tastebuds are still developing so his tastes will change —minute to minute— day to day

Deeedeeee · 16/02/2019 19:17

You don't want him to associate his high chair and meal times with being upset. With older children I can see the logic of having a rule about trying new foods but he is maybe too young to understand yet. The next time you try to introduce a new food I would do so in a different place to try to break the cycle...quick picnic outside if it's sunny enough for example, or even just sit him on your lap and try the food together... just to make it less of a battle.

Raspberry88 · 16/02/2019 19:17

I agree that he's too young to worry about it quite yet. It's just going to cause more upset than its worth!

BeakyPlinder · 16/02/2019 19:18

Oh my two year old does this quite frequently so I know your frustrations well. Leave it this time and let him try again tomorrow. Sometimes mine will eat everything then other days nothing at all. What really frustrated me was the other day I was running late and gave him a pouch to eat in the pushchair whilst I walked the dog for dinner and he ate every last mouthful and asked more more 🤷🏼‍♀️

It will get easier, toddlers are maniacs, but they won't starve themselves. Try tomorrow and have a glass of wine when he's asleep

jelliebelly · 16/02/2019 19:20

He's too young to really understand this battle- leave it and try again tomorrow

GookledyGobb · 16/02/2019 19:20

Imagine if somebody forced you to try stuff on your plate if you weren’t hungry or didn’t fancy it. And who also dictated what you ate every day.
Let him down, don’t make it a fight. Meal times should be relaxing and fun

For reference the rule for my 4 and 3 year olds is to try one bite. I wouldn’t insist with a younger child

SallyWD · 16/02/2019 19:21

He's definitely too young to be this strict over food. My kids lived on thin air at that age. They ate so little I was amazed they grew so tall and had so much energy. Give him a cuddle and some yogurt. He won't starve.

Brittanyspears · 16/02/2019 19:22

You’ve had him in a high chair for an hour?! Give him some yogurt and get him to bed.

Fairylea · 16/02/2019 19:23

Way too young.

Don’t ever make food such an issue like this. It’s just storing up problems long term.

Hoplittlebunnies · 16/02/2019 19:23

Let him out, he's still so little.

We went through this with DS (and to some extent still do at 25mo). You can judge all you like but I found what works is to let him eat in the living room whilst watching telly and it paying him any attention. We sit and eat our meals there too so he's eating with us. He will eat almost anything without a fuss now if we are eating in a relaxed environment. Food isn't a fight worth having at this age.

Original poster

Mesosleepy · 16/02/2019 19:24

I did give him regular cuddles while he was upset, I didn't just leave him.
But he's now had two yogurts some strawberries and a chuck of chocolate because I felt so guilty.
I'm just so sick of him liking something one min and refusing to try the same thing the next.
I was forced to eat my whole meal as a child which is not what I'm going to do. If he doesn't like it, that's fine but I will insist he tries it.. maybe I still need to give him time for that though

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caughtinanet · 16/02/2019 19:24

Oh no, please don't do that, it makes me so sad that so much stress is caused by food battles, what's the worst thay would happen if he doesn't eat it?

Assuming no medical issues one day he'll be a strapping teenager and you'll have wasted his baby time trying to force feed him

Sirzy · 16/02/2019 19:25

Sometimes it’s good to show our children we are fallible and make mistakes. Say sorry give him a hug and then get a yoghurt.

Don’t make food a battle of wills

Original poster

Mesosleepy · 16/02/2019 19:27

We do do that hoplittlebunnies as we don't have a dining room or table and chairs due to space so defo no judgement here.

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dreamyflower · 16/02/2019 19:28

Could it be the high chair? My ds is 22 months and started refusing meals until we put him at table with us on an adult chair (With booster). Now he loves dinners. Also I cut snacks down. I wouldn't force him though.

minipie · 16/02/2019 19:28

It’s gone 7 which seems pretty late for a 22 month old dinner? Maybe he’s just too tired? My 4 yr old still doesn’t eat well at dinner if too tired, and she has dinner at 5.15 .. However maybe yours has a massive nap and a late bedtime...

Original poster

Mesosleepy · 16/02/2019 19:29

I have said sorry and he's now happily eating a banana too.

I haven't tried to be strict for the lolz and because I like seeing him upset. That boy is my life and for that reason I would hate for him to be hungry in the night.

OP posts:

dreamyflower · 16/02/2019 19:30

Just saw you don't have dining room table. Do you have space for toddler table?

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