I wonder if Op is rather surprised at how many people have said 'get married' and if this is a tricky topic. Op, what are your and your partner's views on marriage? Perhaps neither has been keen before or seen it as needed or relevant, or one has been keen and the other not and it's a topic of contention.
Often people think about marriage as outdated/not needed when they are younger and one partner makes a decision they don't want to do it. They often don't know the practical implications of the choice and say 'we don't need a piece of paper, it doesn't protect relationships from failure etc etc' I wonder how far Op and also partner are aware of the financial and practical implications of being unmarried.
Op, would it be a good idea to show this thread to your partner as food for thought. You didn't approach the issue as asking if you should get married, but about issues related to being a SAHM. Marriage might not have been a key issue in your mind in relation to being a SAHM, but you can see it is....so you do have to think about it and so does partner, if you are both serious about your relationship and covering all bases.
It seems unromantic and mercenary to come to a discussion of marriage because of these issues. It probably feels uincomfortable if you'dve had discussions before about marriage not from a practical but emotional angle and one has wanted to amrry and the other hasn't. However, the discussions still will need to take place.
It probably isn't helpful for posters to keep saying 'are you going to get married' - as if them raising the issue 5 mins ago has resulted in OP making a decision and it being a decision that can be made alone. We don't know what Op's relationship is like or how committed they are to each other or how able and willing to make that formal marriage commitment.
Hopefully Op realises from the many comments that becoming a SAHM without being married leaves her vulnerable. She is looking to plan ahead and reduce vulnerability in all senses and we hope partner is on board with doing that too - if that is the case, he too will be thinking about these issues and be prepared to look at the marriage question.
Op, the decision has been made for him to take the job and work away. Is he fully engaged in looking at the issues of you being a SAHM and what needs sorting to make this work for now and the future, or is it being left to you? It needs to be looked at together as part of the whole package which affects the whole family. Really, these issues should have all been looked at before he took the other job, because the job is only part of the story and it's not really right to make decisions without considering all the implications. In itself, this suggests to me that the balance of interests and full commitment for both parties to fully consider all aspects from the angle of the impact on all the family aren't quite there...something to consider?? This can happen wittingly or unwittingly, but either way needs addressing.
There is a lot to discuss. Start from there being no pre-determined and have everything (including the new job ideally) up for discussion and debate in terms of implications for everyone.
Op are you up for these kind of discussions....might be a bit more to it all than what you were thinking might be the issues in terms of put X% in a pension each month!