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Original poster

Kids out the way by 7pm

104 replies

Storminateacup74 · 28/01/2019 21:02

How do your D.C. greet their dad when he returns from work?? My hubby gets home between about 730 and 8pm and often walks into what he calls a war zone. The kids are 12 and 10 and their is quite often homework being done, or a friendship issues to deal with, one of them coming home from one activity or another and the house is not yet spotless from their tea. He wants them both upstairs in their rooms when he gets home all friendship issues homework and activities shoukd have been done so he can walk into a quiet pleasant house for a relaxing evening. Unfortunately when he walked in tonight one child was in the middle of a factieme call with her friend which was getting a bit heated and the other was being dropped off after cubs so needed a shower etc. He takes his dinner and eats it upstairs now until kids are out of his away. Adult time after 7pm apparently. Is this normal?.

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achoocashew · 28/01/2019 21:04

He's a bit unrealistic isn't he? He sounds like he thinks he is the king and live should be easy and quiet when he walks in. He should realise life with kids is noisy and messy and he can chill out for 15 mins when he gets in but then he should come down and help and interact!

Paddingtonthebear · 28/01/2019 21:05

At age 10 and 12 years old he expects them to be away in their rooms before 7pm?

He sounds old fashioned and very unrealistic Confused

AliceLutherNeeMorgan · 28/01/2019 21:05

It’s normal for a selfish idiot, yes! Does he not know what family life is like?!

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Ribbonsonabox · 28/01/2019 21:05

Whaaaaat?! No that's not normal. My husband works 7am till 8.30pm and quite often both the kids are still running round when he gets back! And I'm a SAHM! Sometimes I've managed to get them both to sleep by the time he gets back but he by no means expects it. If they are still up when he gets in he helps by reading one a story or putting mine and his dinner on.

PuppyMonkey · 28/01/2019 21:07

Knob.

Paddingtonthebear · 28/01/2019 21:07

Didn’t see the bit about him eating alone upstairs. That is RIDICULOUS.

This isn’t the 1950’s!

My 6 yr old is up and about when her dad gets home from work around 6.30pm. He walks straight in and talks to her. He wants to see her. That’s what normal fathers do Hmm

MondeoFan · 28/01/2019 21:07

No not at 10 and 12. They shouldn't be in their rooms by 7pm. What about when it's summer? Wouldn't they be allowed in the garden?

Sunshinewithshowers123 · 28/01/2019 21:07

Wow. Imo this is not normal and I couldn't be married to someone with that attitude. Has he always been Lord of the Manor?

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 28/01/2019 21:07

Do you work, op? If not, I think I'd start, purely for the purpose of showing him how it's done. I work FT, make sure I get home in time to give my DCs dinner & sort them out. He's a bellend.

rainbowlou · 28/01/2019 21:08

Does he not want to spend time with them after work at all?
He is being very unrealistic and pretty unreasonable I think.
Exhausting for you to deal with Flowers

Passmethecrisps · 28/01/2019 21:08

Does he not like his children?

I understand it would be lovely to get home from work to a calm, tidy and settled house but you have almost teenagers and he is their dad. Whose job is supporting with homework, managing friendship issues etc? I am presuming not his.

This dinner he takes off upstairs to eat - who cooks it?

Genuinely I would tell his to get stuffed. He sounds ridiculously old fashioned and unpleasant

Mayhemmumma · 28/01/2019 21:08

My DH complains if ours are in bed by 7pm because he misses them.

But ours are young and often need an early bed time...10 and 12yo surely could go to bed later?

What an old grump he sounds like.

Whitelisbon · 28/01/2019 21:08

No, it's not normal, not since the 50s anyway.
My dh gets home between 5 and 6, and often walks into a war zone, the kids fighting, tea all over the table and floor, toys everywhere, homework half done, etc.
He just joins in and helps me deal with it all, gets the younger kids bathed and into bed, and then deals with the older ones.
He cannot possibly expect a 12yo and 10yo to stay quietly in their rooms after 7, that's not fair.

LizzieMacQueen · 28/01/2019 21:09

Aside from all the other things, this I would find unacceptable.

He takes his dinner and eats it upstairs

Poor you, you are married to a selfish bastard; and poor kids too, if he can't be bothered with them.

jelliebelly · 28/01/2019 21:10

I presume he doesn't like his children very much - when on earth does he get to interact with them? At 10 and 12 they have all kinds of stuff going on in their lives!

bibbitybobbityyhat · 28/01/2019 21:10

Well he sounds like a cock and a half. What idiot expects 12 and 10 year olds to be tidied away upstairs by 7pm?

BertrandRussell · 28/01/2019 21:10

No. Not normal at all. However, i’d be a bit concerned if “friendship issues” were a nightly problem. Homework, activities, chats, games, just hanging out family stuff is fine and perfectly normal.

BaronessBomburst · 28/01/2019 21:10

He sounds a right miserable git!

SoyDora · 28/01/2019 21:11

So he doesn’t want to see/spend time with his children at all?

museumum · 28/01/2019 21:11

Your poor kids Sad
He honestly does not want to see them Monday to Friday?
My dh is sad if he misses ds more than one night due to work. As am I if I have two late evenings in a row.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 28/01/2019 21:11

Don’t you all eat together? That isn’t late at their ages.

danni0509 · 28/01/2019 21:14

@PuppyMonkey that made me 😂

Creatureofthenight · 28/01/2019 21:14

So he has no interest in being a father then? Has he always been so distant? It’s very sad.

Sweetooth92 · 28/01/2019 21:15

That’s awful. Your poor children must feel so unwanted by him. Not normal, and not okay. I would imagine they will grow up resenting him and leave at the first opportunity. That isn’t how a happy household works

tobee · 28/01/2019 21:16

If my Dh came home to a "war zone " (kids adults now) he would be pitching in and helping.