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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

4 yo wasted everything i bring in thr house

91 replies

billiefox92 · 12/01/2019 07:52

Okay im going to go mad. My daughter wastes everything. From my make up to tooth paste even food and drink items. She literally just empties them out and walks away! Ive had enough 😭

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Jackshouse · 12/01/2019 07:53

Don’t leave her supervised with them.

Fairylea · 12/01/2019 07:53

Any 4 year old would do this given a chance....!

PattiStanger · 12/01/2019 07:58

I don't agree with that Fairlylea, as 4 years old my DCs never did anything like that and it's not something I've come across with family members or friends DC.

Your child may not be at school yet but the majority of 4 year olds who are wouldn't be behaving like that in classrooms ime.

If it it literally everything then I'd start with the obvious and look stuff away or keep it well out of reach then look into whether there is some reason for this.

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TulipsInbloom1 · 12/01/2019 08:02

Is she allowed to just walk around doing what she wants with no consequences?

Put stuff away/on high shelves. Supervise her til she shows she is trustworthy. Consequences for bad behaviour.

I have a just turned 4yo and an older child. Neither of them carried on like this at 4yo. Toddler age maybe if I left stuff lying within reach but then that's my fault if I left make up etc on reach of a 2yo

trulybadlydeeply · 12/01/2019 08:03

What is she doing with it all? Can you prevent her access to it?

Make away in a place she can't reach (even if you put your make up bag on top of the wardrobe or hidden in a drawer). Child locks on kitchen cupboards etc.

However if she is NT, she is old enough to understand that she can't do this, and for there to be consequences if she does. How is she in other people's houses, at nursery or school etc?

Original poster

billiefox92 · 12/01/2019 08:04

Its got to the point that ive actually had to have locks put on my kitchen and front room door. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue is a big part of this so i stuggle waking in the morning. Plus im a single parent. Until she physically comes and wakes me up or i natually wake up i cant.

OP posts:

Original poster

billiefox92 · 12/01/2019 08:06

She does it at family members houses too

OP posts:

Dimsumlosesum · 12/01/2019 08:06

Well you're just going to have to either lock all cupboards, or put everything up out of reach.

TulipsInbloom1 · 12/01/2019 08:07

In that case can you make her bedroom safe and put a gate on it, with toys in reach, so she can play safely in her bedroom in the mornings?

What sort of alarm do you have? Could you set a few alarms around the room?

Sirzy · 12/01/2019 08:07

So you need to either make sure she had somewhere safe to play until you wake up in the morning or you need to set an alarm to make sure your awake.

As hard as it is a 4 year old roaming the house unsupervised is a recipe for accidents

Fairylea · 12/01/2019 08:08

I did say given a chance... by that I meant if they’re bored or unsupervised they’ll often end up doing things they know they shouldn’t even if they normally wouldn’t.

Op I have chronic health issues too, it’s very difficult. Have you looked at different types of alarms - buzzing / flashing / vibrating etc- if you find waking up difficult? Or putting several across the other side of the room?

Rubusfruticosus · 12/01/2019 08:19

Does she have SEN? My DS didn't do anything like that at two, let alone four. Like a PP said, many four year olds are in school. Do you have a HV you can talk to about it?

lunar1 · 12/01/2019 08:23

What type of alarm clock do you have? Some are more effective than others, I'd be looking for a new system in the morning. Maybe a gate on her bedroom while you figure something out.

SockEatingMonster · 12/01/2019 08:24

I don’t think that sounds like typical 4 year old behaviour at all. Are there other unusual behaviours? I don’t think it would hurt to make an appointment to speak to your HV or even your GP.

SexNotJenga · 12/01/2019 08:25

What do you do when she does this?

trulybadlydeeply · 12/01/2019 08:27

Put a gate on the kitchen door so she can't get in there in the morning. The priority has to be safety. On the sitting room door too if you don't want her in there before you wake up. Better than confining her to her bedroom as she will need access to the loo. Plenty of things to play with in her room, and a drink in case she wakes up thirsty.

Then tackle the behaviour. Consequences for doing it, rewards for good behaviour (star chart, marble jar etc). Is she at school or nursery?

FluffyMcCloud · 12/01/2019 08:29

Life sounds difficult for you both. Perhaps this is an attention seeking behaviour, acting up because she is struggling or is unhappy. I assume you’ve asked her why she does it?

megletthesecond · 12/01/2019 08:29

Is it a creative and / or sensory mixing thing?

toomuchsplother · 12/01/2019 08:31

By wasting do you mean tipping things out and them walking away? Does she have any Special Educational needs? Tipping is quite a sensory seeking behaviour

ThereWillBeAdequateFood · 12/01/2019 08:32

Sorry she’s acting up op. I disagree with posters saying you should be constantly with her every second. That level of helicoptering just isn’t sustainable.

Assuming she’s NT you are going to have to get really strict with her. Come up with a sanction you know will have an impact and next time she does something follow through.

blueskiesandforests · 12/01/2019 08:34

It absolutely isn't typical 4 year old behaviour, either she's desperately trying to get any kind of attention whatsoever or is unsupervised for extremely long periods, not just an hour or so early in the morning, or has some special needs which urgently need diagnosing.

Are you struggling to give her attention and structure her all the time because of your health problems billiefox92 ? If your health means you literally can't be awake and parenting her enough it's time to ask for some help or put her into full time childcare until she starts school, so you can rest enough to parent when she's home.

IamIwas · 12/01/2019 08:35

I don’t think she should be having to wake you up. What happens on a school day?

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 12/01/2019 08:35

My son used to do this at 2 yo ish but grew out of it. My step daughter was still doing it at 4. We were very strict on her and nipped itnin the bud very early on!! I think you need to be stricter with her. As silly as it sounds, how is she supposed to know when things are wrong and not to do them if you never teach her with consequences? Sorry if you already do this x

IamIwas · 12/01/2019 08:37

My dd used to do this and I used to have to supervise her constantly. If she was quiet she was invariably in the bathroom emptying out containers and yes it was a sensory thing.

ReflectentMonatomism · 12/01/2019 08:39

I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue is a big part of this so i stuggle waking in the morning. Plus im a single parent. Until she physically comes and wakes me up or i natually wake up i cant.

Four years old and carer for her mother who blames her for trying to get some attention? Poor kid. The op is more worried about her makeup getting spilt than her daughter.

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