4 yo wasted everything i bring in thr house

[billiefox92]

Okay im going to go mad. My daughter wastes everything. From my make up to tooth paste even food and drink items. She literally just empties them out and walks away! Ive had enough 😭

Oh, and buy an alarm clock.

I wouldn't say it's typical, but it could be if she is being unsupervised for a long period of time, she could be bored and lonely and doing it for the reaction when you get up.

I know it's tough raising kids with a disability but you do have to try and find ways to minimise the impact on them.

The advice about different kinds of alarms is a good one.

Or a morning nanny if that's an affordable option?

I come on here and get slated for asking for advice. Im a single parent with a physical disability. She doesnt care for me. The make up was an example of things she empties out. Im not a make up wearing person but when i do buy it she wastes it.

Most people are trying to give advice but the priority has to be keeping her safe which I am sure you wouldn’t disagree with?

How long is there normally between her waking and you waking?

Op please try not to take offence. From the scant info you have provided your 4yo dd is able to get up and wander round the house unsupervised for as long as she wishes until she wakes you up. Posters are just concerned that this isn't safe for her and making alternative suggestions.

Okay so it appears im a bad mum because i am disabled and struggle with my daughters behaviour. I have social services and my local childrens centre working with us but it being saturday i just wanted some advice.

There are locks on my living room and kitchen doors there is nothing she can harm her self with

OP.A bad mum wouldn't come asking for advice. You obviously want things to improve.

Dd is wasting your stuff because you aren't there to supervise her. So can we maybe help with suggestions on how to increase that supervision?

It could be an attention seeking thing, if she sees how much it annoys you, even though it's negative attention, it's a behaviour she will repeat. I would keep stuff like that locked away and have an area where she can safely play when she wakes up, and make sure that she gets plenty of positive attention when you are able to.

Also it could be a phase that she's going through, learning through exploring, so I would set up a water tray with lots of empty containers that she can fill and empty to her hearts content - you could do this in the bath.

She has toys in her room to play with in the mornings i always leave her a drink out and she can access the toilet. I try to ask her why she does what she does but dont get an answer. Im already doing everything suggested

My children wake me up in the.mornings too, (although they are a lot older) you are not a bad mother. The only difference is age.

If it was me.i would have her sleeping in the bedroom with me to be safe for another few years, or until she is able to look after herself without getting into trouble.

The only thing to prevent my dd doing the same is constant supervision. I always make her clean/tidy it up too but that doesn’t prevent it.

But if she is still doing it she still has access to what you don't want her to touch. Just remove the access. Put your make up somewhere she can't get to.

Is she maybe anxious about you being ill?

Presumably you have medicines/pills in the house ? Where do you those ? Maybe put your make up there too so that she can’t get at it.

If she does it a second time then you obviously didn’t punish her hard enough the first time!

Im already doing everything suggested

What sanctions do you have when she does this?

I’m really sorry to say your dd sounds really fixated on tipping things and you might need to supervise her more closely - which is going to be really tough for you. 4 years olds are lovely but really hard work.

If she does it a second time then you obviously didn’t punish her hard enough the first time!

Locked doors. Mother asleep. Child alone. MN solution? More punishment. Lovely.

billiefox92 look up sensory bins and pouring stations on Pinterest and set some of those up for her - they're usually for toddlers, but if she feels the need to tip things out give her an acceptable outlet.

Move her into your bedroom.

Set a range of alarms for roughly the time she usually wakes.

Lock up valuable tipable things and things that stain.

Use all the free or subsidised childcare available and accept or ask for a homestart volunteer to play sensory bin games with her and give you time to rest.

What else can anyone say? There's no point getting offended because people point out the obvious. What she's doing isn't age typical at all but there's no magic solution, she needs more structure and more attention.

WhirlieGigg wtf

Move her into your bedroom

I think this is the best suggestion. She gets attention, even if it is sleepy cuddles, and she can wake you as soon as she wakes.

Try getting more sensory oriented toys. This doesn't mean your DD has special needs at all. But most kids at this age are very sensory led when it comes to play.

I can recommend:
Nina Ballerina magnetic dress-up doll by Melissa and Doug
Kinetic sand
Melissa and Doug pattern blocks and board
Pop-Up Pirates game (this is a 'cause and effect' game which is always thrilling for kids)
Bristle blocks
Paint with water/magic painting

The other item I think every 3-6 year old should have is a LeapPad (get them second-hand on eBay- along with some games, Letter Factory is the best). LeapPads are totally educational, entertaining, engaging. It's not a screen in the way that playing on the phone is.

She's too young to be left alone in the mornings- not because it's a danger but she does need your parenting and your input. You're not well and I can totally imagine how fatigued you are. You don't have to be The Entertainer, but just get up with her, greet the morning with her, be part of her start to the day- this is really psychologically important. It can be a snuggle in bed or even just sit her on the sofa while you get her breakfast, chatting to her. She needs you in the morning. I was a single parent to DC1 until he was 7. The important thing to focus on is ensuring that she doesn't feel alone and left to it. Again, this doesn't mean you have to dress up as Coco the Clown and entertain. Not at all. But just be there, in her orbit, in her space. I'm not a big talker in the morning but kids just need to know that you are there. They don't need all the bells and whistles, just the comfort of your presence is enough- you shuffling around getting a cup of tea with some nice music on- is comforting.

Sometimes I just leave games and stuff on the kitchen table so that when DC3 wakes up, he sees, for example, a dress up fireman on the table and starts playing with that. None of my kids liked staying in their room in the morning. They tend to want to be near mum, kids do.

Is your DD at school?

Nobody is saying you are a bad mum at all. But if she is responsible for for you up in the mornings then this is the beginnings of a carers responsibility for you.

There is nothing wrong with this, as long as you are able to acknowledge it and chat with school about things.

For instance what wakes your dd up? Does she have her own alarm to get up in time for school? School put a lot of pressure even to the very young ones on punctuality.

Your dd could be worrying about if she is going to get you up in time.

Look op its not regular that a mom is asleep while her little one is awake roaming around the house. I know its difficult but you must find a way of being awake. Or have her sleep in with you so you know where she is.
I see it as a cry for help. She knows when you see the mess there will be a big hoo haa so that is better than being alone in the house in the morning. To be honest l found it difficult as a teenager if my dm wasn't up when l got up. Its the regular order of things.
Do you go to bed when she goes so can get extra rest at that end?
Spilling stuff is unusual but so is her little life. Deal with the free roaming and the other will stop. Could you tell her to come and cuddle in with you in the morning as soon as she wakes up?. Maybe have some books there or even a tv she can switch on. She needs to be near you.