Hubby left 18 month old home alone - advice needed please

[MamaBear0307]

I found out tonight that my husband left our 18 month old alone in the house sleeping whilst he popped to the corner shop to get beer. Now that I’ve found out about this I strongly suspect this isn’t the first time this has happened.
I’m actually in shock that he could be so selfish. I am a very relaxed mother but this I am not ok with.
The shop is 30 second walk from the house so not a massive distance.
Please tell me what you think, what would you do? How would you react and handle this?

Thank you xxx

[MamaBear0307]

Ow dear. I have some mulled wine at home and I offered him some the other day and as usual he said no because he doesn’t like mulled wine (I was just being polite by asking). A couple of hours ago we were in the kitchen and he noticed that the mulled wine was 8% and just now I saw there was some gone so I asked him and he said he tried some. He didn’t ask, he didn’t heat it up, he just helped himself to something that he doesn’t like. I’m getting really worried now

[StressedToTheMaxx]

Why don't you both give up alcohol?
If it is done together its seen as supportive and saves money.

[MamaBear0307]

That’s what I said to him. A couple of months back I said no more home drinking for me and he kept coming home with bottles of wine. Even after everything that happened last night he still asked me if I wanted to share a bottle of wine. Errrr no I don’t.
I’ve said numerous times about quitting together but he says he doesn’t need to and that he enjoys it

[BertrandRussell]

" An 18-month-old can have a serious accident in a minute, if unsupervised"

I don't think he would have left her. But I have to challenge this. Do you never go to the loo, or go to sleep or leave a child watching TV in one room while you make a cup of tea on another?

[MamaBear0307]

Yep but I can always hear DS.
Hard to do when you are either not in the house or are outside with double glazing between you and the child

[howrudeforme]

Op he’s prioritised alcohol over leaving toddler alone.

Would he have taken the same risk to leave toddler to go out and buy a tea towel? Probably not.

[StressedToTheMaxx]

Then that would be the deal breaker for me.
He compromised your child's safety for alcohol so I would be be requesting it be an alcohol free house or I would be moving on from that relationship.
It is horrendous he left the child home alone. If you contacted he police I think they could give him a serious telling off.

[mrswelch]

I'd be filing for divorce 🤷 very very stupid.

[anniehm]

Whilst I don't think he should have left him, a shop 3 or 4 doors down is probably closer than the bottom of my garden (I'm very fortunate in the size of our garden!) my kids were older when we moved here so a non issue for us. I did go to the laundry in my building when my kids were small - apartments don't tend to have private facilities in the us, no way I could juggle two kids and laundry so I did it when the younger was sleeping and the elder walked beside me

[bourbonbiccy]

I don't understand people saying there us a difference in why you left the baby.
The same results could happen if he went for milk.

I think the alcohol dependency is an issue but the reason for him leaving the baby bears no relevance to me in this situation. It's is stupid and dangerous. Now he's been told he shouldn't do it again.

[Sethos]

Given what you said about the mulled wine, it does sound as though his drinking is at a problematic level.

[MincePieMum]

My DH was similar, when he was alone in the house (with DS) and drank all his booze, he once drank my Baileys and tia Maria. He tried mixing baileys with coke!! He now accepts he is an alcoholic and hasn't drink for over a year. Necking cold mulled wine is another indication of his relationship with alcohol.

[costacoffeecup]

Leaving the house to go to the shop for beer is not acceptable.

I am less bothered by the drinking a bottle of wine over the course of an evening. The driving argument is unfair I think. My partner and I may have a few glasses of wine over the course of a Saturday evening and both probably be over the limit to drive. If our daughter was ill with a cough or a bug I wouldn't/haven't drunk alcohol just in case (on Christmas Day on one occasion!) But if she was perfectly healthy I don't think parents need to refrain from drinking altogether when in their own home (because one drink is enough to be over the limit) just in case they need to drive somewhere.