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Original poster

My mother-in-law gave my 12 yo daughter some wine

94 replies

Swisscheese14 · 15/12/2018 19:16

Hey ! I am having a huge issue with my hubby because of what his mother did. Do you think I am overreacting or I am right to be pissed off ?

My 12yo daughter stayed with her grandparents on Wednesday, when I came to pick her up , her face was all red , she could barely walk and she was smelling of booze. My mil told me she gave her some wine to try, and she loved it so she had 3 glasses !!!!

I was so so angry I just walked out and brought my baby home. I waited for her dad to come and told him how furious I was. But he said to me that it's not a big deal and he started drinking at this age too. I am so mad. Am I overreacting ?

OP posts:
Slipperboots · 15/12/2018 19:18

3 glasses Shock

ItIsChristmasTime · 15/12/2018 19:18

Three glasses of wine is unacceptable.

purplecorkheart · 15/12/2018 19:19

Three glasses, that would flatten most adults not to mind a child. Her poor liver. I thought when I saw the title that it would have been a splash in a glass but three glasses is unbelievable.

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Original poster
Swisscheese14 · 15/12/2018 19:19

Yes 3 glasses, and she got sick in the middle of the night and vomited all over her bed. My husband minimise things so much saying : 'soon she will out partying , it prepares her for it'

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 15/12/2018 19:19

Well I hope he's dealing with the hangover.

A sip, fine imo. More than that, totally not.

Definately o more childcare from them. Explain to DH that whilst his parents were OK with that, both of your daughters parents are not in agreement with it so it's a no.

MrsPnut · 15/12/2018 19:21

A small drop topped up with lemonade is fine but three glasses is far too much for a 12 year old (and I have a 12 year old and a 21 year old) I’d be furious and would have to say something to my MIL.

AornisHades · 15/12/2018 19:22

I too assumed you were going to say a tiny bit in a sherry glass but 3 glasses Shock is ridiculous. What was she thinking?

WoWsers16 · 15/12/2018 19:23

I wouldn't mind her having half a glass- but 3 glasses!! That is not right! xx

Soubriquet · 15/12/2018 19:23

I would be furious. So would be dh

There’s a big difference between a splash, maybe topped with lemonade and 3 glasses.

EllenRipley · 15/12/2018 19:24

I thought you were going to say they let her have a sip or two! Three glasses?! That's outrageous and actually dangerous. I'd be livid (and consider myself a pretty relaxed parent).

Jackshouse · 15/12/2018 19:25

A thought you were going to say a taste or a small amount mixed with water. Three glasses and I would not be feeling good. She is a child whose liver and brain have not fully developed. I would be furious.

BTW Studies have shown that Sri king ‘responsibily’ at home leads to teenagers binge drinking and drinking younger.

Doghorsechicken · 15/12/2018 19:26

Three glasses is excessive for that age, I’d perhaps just say to MIL that you don’t mind her having one glass of wine with a meal but not to give her any more than that. You need to tell her though.

octoberbaby2010 · 15/12/2018 19:26

That's out of order!! Don't let her go there again on her own!! Xx

LoveWasAccidental · 15/12/2018 19:27

I would be absolutely fucking furious about this. It's not acceptable in any way. Your husband's remark about it preparing her for going out partying is similar to a suggestion that you let her start having sex now because it will prepare her for sexual relationships in the future.

ihatehoney · 15/12/2018 19:27

I can't even drink a GLASS without it affecting me- your poor daughter must have felt awful afterwards😣 it's in no way her fault, she's a child- she doesn't know the effects of it.

If that was my daughter and MIL I wouldn't be having them round (or seeing daughter) for a long fucking time. That's got to be abusive behaviour?! Or neglectful?

I suggest sending a strongly worded text. What a cunt.

CrazyOldBagLady · 15/12/2018 19:27

She got your 12 year old plastered. She deserves a right rollicking! Go and fling the vomity bedding at her like Spud in trainspotting and tell her she can clean it for you.

Nothisispatrick · 15/12/2018 19:29

Wow I was going to say it’s no big deal but three glasses! That’s awful! What did she have to say for herself?

RB68 · 15/12/2018 19:29

I don't even drink that much - taste and half a glass maybe even as a spritzer but 3 glasses is fucking irresponsible

winecigsandchoc · 15/12/2018 19:31

Your MILs actions are abusive to your DD. If school or another external agency heard about this then I imagine it would be raised a safeguarding concern with social services.

Do not let her spend time with MIL alone again- or with DH and MIL as it sounds like he doesn't get the seriousness of this.

Original poster
Swisscheese14 · 15/12/2018 19:34

Thanks everyone, I am reassured to read that I am not some crazy prude and too strict parent.

She rang me and I told her how disappoint I was, that I do not want my 12yo child to be getting drunk. She is not even sorry about it, all she has to say that she better start drinking in a safe place with family than out in a park or something. I won't be taking my daughter back there until they understand that I am her mother, and how ridiculous and dangerous it is to have her drink so much. Maybe she will give my 8yo some too ? I can't trust her anymore.

My husband does not understand why I am fuming. His arguments : it's her grandmother , I was drinking at that age , you can't forbid my mum from seeing the children.

OP posts:
Original poster
Swisscheese14 · 15/12/2018 19:35

Disappointed*

OP posts:
ihatehoney · 15/12/2018 19:40

You definitely bloody can stop them seeing her! If they go so far as to get SS or courts involved in getting to see your daughters you can happily tell them why you don't let them have your daughters alone anymore.

They're the ones in the wrong. Ignore your DH. Did he have drinking issues when young as they let him drink loads too?

jay55 · 15/12/2018 19:42

Vomiting in bed can be fatal. She's a total dickhead for letting your daughter get that far gone.

Soubriquet · 15/12/2018 19:44

Course you can forbid it!

Especially if the child is put in danger

Fatted · 15/12/2018 19:48

Your DH doesn't see it as wrong because that's obviously how his mum brought him up.

I agree with others, a small drink would have been fine. But three glasses so she's throwing up in the middle of the night is not on!!

Stick to your guns on this one.

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