am losing it big time with dd1, someone please give me some advice

[19811222]

she is 5 and always been a nightmare at going to bed, fine once she is asleep but the getting to sleep is a nightmare.

tonight i have lost it big style with her, thrown her in bed without even brushing teeth, i came back downstairs and she ws screaming so i went up gave her a kiss and cuddle said sorry and she said sorry for being naughty.

every night she shouts me upstairs about 20 times, its either for more water saying she is hungry needs more books teddys or her latest is that she has a sore flower and needs cream.

i know everyone will say not to give in but she can scream for hours and i have dd2 to think about, thank god she sleeps well.

i really cant take anymore and i really think i could hurt her just now.

i honestly thought after i came back downstairs that she would go to slp but she is still shouting, i think im going to crack up.

babyblue thats the stuff the sleep therapist made us do, for 6 weeks we were putting her back into bed and ignoring her for about 60 times a night, not once in that 6 weeks was there a point where she was any better. eventually i had to give up i was knackered and could not cope during the day after living of about 4-5 hours sleep a night.

after that it was back to running up and down stairs about 20 times a night giving into all her stupid demands. i am so to say it but one of these demands is that she sleeps with daddys dress watch and work watch, if we cant find one of them ww3 kicks off.

i feel i cant talk to anyon in rl because it is just so laughable what she puts us through, everyone thinks i am a great mum and its all a big joke.

Hmmm.

Imagine being a 5-year-old. Your world is strange and changing. You have little control over your life.

And the last person who puts you to bed at night is angry with you.

So you come up with some excuse to get them to come back, and they're angrier.

I do think a mix of calm firmness and affection is the way forward, here.

(I totally understand about getting angry ... but it's not nice to go to bed with your last interaction being an angry one ...)

Could you have some kind of reward for her in the morning if she is good about going to bed/ sleep the night before? Maybe she could choose it?

Do you think she could want more daytime one-to-one attention from you and is trying to get it at bedtime instead?

HTH

Ok, given you've tried firm, can you sit her down and tell her how you feel about this? And come up with a plan together?

well i have ignored her for the last 20 mins and i think she has fallen asleep so im going to risk it and go to bed, thank you for showing me that its not just me who is going through this.

You can't give in to her demands. Full stop. Does she come downstairs or does she stay in her room and scream? I know i've not experienced your dd but there must be something you can do and pandering to her every need is not one of them.

19811222....how you doing....feeling alittle more relaxed about it??

What time are you putting her to bed? If it is after 7.00pm, I would say you are leaving it too late and she is overtired and has gone into overdrive. that is my experience with my 3, who are now 18, 16 and 9.

You need about an hour's winding down, calm time before bed too, which may mean changing the routine - for example do bath etc first, then supper at about 6pm followed by "hands face and teeth" then story and in bed by 7.

Can you work that round your younger one, or would you have to substitute a DVD or video (showing my age now) while you get LO into bed?

Perhaps they could share a story, then she can have an extra, more "grown up" one on condition she settles down without fuss?