Horseriding with a screaming 9months old

[Pumkins]

Hi there -
Title says it all. I have a very active, busy 9months old DD. She is happy to be independent in the house, at clubs, goes to nursery no probs, will explore her surroundings and so on. She spends lots of time with dad and family as well as quality time with me when I am off (working flexi hours).
She goes in the pram as well as the sling (soft back and woven wrap) and loves the yard, animals the horses etc...
I can lunge and do loose work with my horse no probs she goes in the sling and loves it but I can't get 20min to ride. Literally. I cannot have her in the pram she goes mad, so I set up a little travel cot with toys and comforters on the side of the arena. Ideal, I can see her, she can play, she has slept, eaten and is clean, she is happy and giggling about.
Then I put her in the cot - cue screaming... non stop. She wants picking up and she will scream the place down until I stop my ride and give in.
I tried leaving her -non stop crying for 35 min that was rough.
I tried moving the cot IN the arena. Great training for the horse but still no better.
Tried regular comforting (5min ride, quick cuddle, 5 min, quick cuddle)... she just wants holding.
Any idea what I can do? I have no help available and not riding is not an option for me. Especially on a beautiful, windless crisp sunny day!

You put her IN the arena with the horse?? Even in a cot, jeez. You say not riding is not an option for you. Well, it might have to be. Your child comes first. Do it when her dad has her.

Surely while you are riding someone else should be taking care of the baby. I don't want to be dramatic but what would happen if you fell off and injured yourself?

Surely you didn't move the cot into the arena?! You need to find childcare. It's really unreasonable to think your baby is going to sit around for a half hour while you ride your horse. What if you fell? Who would even know the baby was there? The whole thing is slightly unbelievable really.

You just need to beg someone to take her for an extra hour to give you time.

Nothing else is sustainable - what will you do when she’s crawling/a toddler etc? Get a system set up now if it’s so important to you.

Wait, you put the cot in the arena? No horse is completely bombproof and a screaming baby in his eyeline is a fucking nightmare waiting to happen. Are you quite mad or just very very selfish?

‘Not riding isn’t an option’? Suck it up princess. I don’t ride at the moment because meds made me gain 4.5stone and I lost my job so couldn’t afford it anymore.

You're kidding?

I can lunge and do loose work with my horse no probs she goes in the sling and loves it but I can't get 20min to ride.
^
What?

I think OP forgot to read the memo about how life changes a bit when you have a baby 

Right first of all I am not interested in hearing whether you have it worse than me. Secondly I am also not interested in hearing whether this is dangerous either - I am grown up, fully aware of the risks and take full responsability for my choice. I habe no interest in other people's judgement. Certainly not of strangers on the internet.
I am after ideas - if you have none, leave no comment.
Thank you.

You must have known you would get judgement over a post like this??

Please tell me you don't have the baby in the sling while around the horse??

Oh my god! I can't believe you put the cot IN the arena! You say it is great training for the horse?! Please tell me you are not jumping over the cot, please please tell me I have misunderstood?

I love horses.

One of my friends was left with life changing injuries after her (beloved, ‘bombproof’ horse threw her at a gate after being spooked by god knows what.

Another friend had her jaw broken after a fall when the horse accidentally trod on her.

Horses are big and they are heavy and they are unpredictable. If you think having your precious baby in trampling reach is at all a sensible thing to do, then you honestly are an unfit mother and I don’t say that lightly.

This has to be a wind up, surely?

If I saw someone lunging with a baby in a sling I would report them to social services - I have a yard full of hunters and I ride in a patey so I’m absolutely not a stranger to danger but fucking hell you must be vacant if you think that’s safe.

Get someone to look after your fucking child whilst you ride before you injure her. Honestly, I hope this is a wind up.

I think the risk assessment of what happens if something happened to YOU is worth mentioning again as I am very risk aware (event risk assessment is part of my role) but I had completely not built that idea into life once DC arrived.

She is IN the sling?

Some things are dangerous enough that we don't get to make our own risk assessment and go ahead.
Imagine someone saying 'I don't use a car seat for my baby, I'm not interested in judgement from strangers from the internet'. This is not so different.

Yes I did think I would get judgement hence why I am clarifying the fact that I am only after ideas. People will be people always judging others choices.
Yes I handle my horse with the baby in tje sling - I don't have another option. I know the risk, I am careful but it has to be done.
I also rode until the day I gave birth if you fancy judging some more. None of my heamth professional did, I made them aware for advice. They were supportive.

Right first of all I am not interested in hearing whether you have it worse than me. Secondly I am also not interested in hearing whether this is dangerous either - I am grown up, fully aware of the risks and take full responsability for my choice. I habe no interest in other people's judgement. Certainly not of strangers on the internet.
I am after ideas - if you have none, leave no comment

I have an idea. Grow the fuck up

You need to get a grip. You post on a public forum, explaining how you can't do what you want because your baby needs more attention. You put your baby in danger and then you get stroppy because people call you up on it!! You can take full responsibility all you want, but that won't help if your child is in ICU or worse beacuse of your selfish actions.
You sound like spoiled little brat.
Newsflash - you don't get to do everything you want in life, especially when you should be putting your child's NEEDs ahead of your wants.

You need childcare. One of the mums at our private nursery has her ds in 3 afternoons per week so she can tend to her horses. What you are doing is beyond dangerous.

This is one of the most bonkers threads I have ever read. I’d like to spend my days off swanning around shopping, having lunch and drinking cocktails with my friends like I did before I had a baby. But I can’t. Life changes ffs. You may have to give it up unless someone can Look after the baby. Not to mention how dangerous it sounds. Christ alive.

Is there an option of enlisting a keen teenager who'd like to ride your horse and doing a bit of a swap? They could have a couple of rides a week in return for taking baby for a walk whilst you ride?

I went around Chatsworth novice track at 20weeks - this is absolutely not the same thing.

I can only assume you’re new to horses and unaware of the danger if you think that handling a horse with a baby strapped to your front is a good idea. You might as well just ride with her in the sling, it will stop her crying. What honestly are you expecting people to propose?

You want ideas - here's mine. Child comes before horse.

People are not trying to judge you OP. They are genuinely seriously concerned for the welfare of you and your child.

I have to rope in help (from a neighbour, friend, babysitter etc.) to be able to continue two of my own activities that are just not suitable to do with my DD with me. Yes that's inconvenient and impacts on my ability to do as much as I want/need to but its non-negotiable.

You mention that your DD goes to nursery. Perhaps you could exercise the horse in this time?

Are you fucking insane?

Wow. You deserve all the judgement hurled at you for this one. Put your baby and her safety first.