Horseriding with a screaming 9months old

[Pumkins]

Hi there -
Title says it all. I have a very active, busy 9months old DD. She is happy to be independent in the house, at clubs, goes to nursery no probs, will explore her surroundings and so on. She spends lots of time with dad and family as well as quality time with me when I am off (working flexi hours).
She goes in the pram as well as the sling (soft back and woven wrap) and loves the yard, animals the horses etc...
I can lunge and do loose work with my horse no probs she goes in the sling and loves it but I can't get 20min to ride. Literally. I cannot have her in the pram she goes mad, so I set up a little travel cot with toys and comforters on the side of the arena. Ideal, I can see her, she can play, she has slept, eaten and is clean, she is happy and giggling about.
Then I put her in the cot - cue screaming... non stop. She wants picking up and she will scream the place down until I stop my ride and give in.
I tried leaving her -non stop crying for 35 min that was rough.
I tried moving the cot IN the arena. Great training for the horse but still no better.
Tried regular comforting (5min ride, quick cuddle, 5 min, quick cuddle)... she just wants holding.
Any idea what I can do? I have no help available and not riding is not an option for me. Especially on a beautiful, windless crisp sunny day!

Get childcare? Seriously what other option is there?

Another one saying childcare is your only option. You really really shouldn't leave your baby in the arena where you're exercising your horse, it only takes a second for the horse to do some serious damage. Even strapped in a sling it's too dangerous, horses can be very unpredictable.
I once had to work with some sheep with my dd strapped on my back and one of them jumped up past me, it took all my self control not to turn my back to save myself like I would normally have done, I just had to face it head on and hope the ewe wouldn't kick me in the face.
Is there anyone you could take with you to the yard (or wherever you keep your horse) that will entertain your dd while you ride?

Any idea what I can do?

Pay for childcare or not ride, surely?

I am grown up, fully aware of the risks and take full responsability for my choice.

But your baby isnt. They are just a baby with no voice yet. So its upto you to make these decisions for them. You are being selfish.

I think childcare is the best option unless you can bribe someone at the yard to watch child
My friends baby went into childcare around 10 weeks old because she needed to work 6-10 horses a day and she couldn't do it with baby around

Well I don't hide the fact that I look after my horse whilst baby wearing (on my back btw, not front). Not going there all shady after dark!
No one has judged or said " that looks dangerous". Because they know me and my horse. I don't handle anyone else's. Besides I am only the second mum to do that on the yard. I have It amuses me how people without any knowledge of the situation can be so brutal with their words. You all are the reason no one will dare doing anything by fear of getting insulted by others. Ew what a horrible community you are a part of! I will make sure to delete my account from this toxic place.
The cot (admittedly outside the arena)was suggested by my HV as someone else does it this way. I am keeping my health visitors informed with all my decisions so by all means tell social services. Spell my name right too will you.
I take her nursery. Then I go to work. Like I can afford nursery three mornings a week to ride! Also I will repeat - ne help around. My family lives 500miles aways.
Many thanks to the few sensible people here who habe suggested some ideas though xx

Cot/pram outside the arena is absolutely fine, I think everyone has done that at some point!

To be brutally honest, if you can’t afford childcare when you ride then you can’t ride. I can’t always get childcare for things I want to do, so I don’t do them. That’s life.

So you can afford to stable a horse but not additional childcare for riding it? Okay...

She spends lots of time with dad and family as well as quality time with me when I am off

This sounds like you have family around, so you can see why it’s confusing.

It’s simple though - it’s not a safe environment if she’s not happy to be left outside the arena in buggy or cot, so if you can’t afford childcare three mornings a week then you can’t ride three mornings a week. There really isn’t some magical solution. Once she starts climbing and walking you’ll need something else in place anyway or you can’t do it.

The main way I earned money before my twins were born was by paper cutting but I can’t work with scalpel blades when they’re around so I can’t do it until they start nursery. It’s just the way it is.

Ok OP, I ride for a living and have three kids under 5. I am also no stranger to danger.

I totally get that you want to ride, and when you have a young baby it's hard. But your judgement is sounding slightly skewed at the mo.

You have three options.

• time riding with baby's nap. Have them ideally parked in the car with the windows open and a blanket on outside the arena where you can see them at all times but they're safe.

• get childcare whilst you ride.

• don't ride.

Riding with a baby in the arena or lunging with them in a sling is not an option. Really.

And I'm not really judging as I know what it's like to just want to carry on as you were before, but seriously you'll look back ok this in a year and be like 'what the fuck was I thinking.'

@Pumkins on the side like you originally said is very very differant to outside. This is why people got their backs up.

Is the father around?

Omg! Put your baby first

Its very selfish. Just book a babysitter. I'd happily babysit at a yard. Take baby to see the horses (safely on the other side of the stable door) watch mum ride for a bit.

I think you need to arrange childcare - either pay someone or else see if you can find a mutual arrangement with someone, preferably at the same yard, so you can both have some uninterrupted riding time that is safe for your child.

I sympathise - I was in this situation with my horses when my children were little. Tbh I had to accept that I could not ride as much as I used to and had to wait for parents or dh to take care of my kids when they were young so that I could ride. I wouldn't have attempted to try and ride with no one to look after them.

I then found, what with juggling work and other things that even when my kids were a bit older I never seem to find the time to ride. However I didn't give up I still have my horses and I am happy hacker and do manage to ride a couple of times a week between work commitments now children are in full time education.

This is a joke, right? No actual human being is both so self-absorbed and dim as to put a baby in a (presumably fairly lightweight, flimsy travel) cot as a horse because "not riding is not an option".

*in the same arena as a horse

Ride/lunge/excercise when the baby is with family, Dad or nursery (you’ve
said all these happen), when THEY have responsibility for the dc, you ride.

When YOU have responsibility for dc, you don’t ride. End of I’m afraid. Time to put your big girls pants on and be a grown up I’m afraid, stuff changes when you have dc. There’s a whole shed load of stuff I’d like to do more than eow (when my ex has the dc), inc horse riding I might add.

Yes outside is very different than in. That is my original plan as suggested by HV.
However out of desperation I moved it in once to see if it made a difference. It didnt so obviously she will stay out - people just assume I do that every time. Next time ask insyrad of insulting.
I had someone who did hold her as I rode. This person is gone hence my struggle now to get things done. Father works, so do I so my options are limited but when he can have her then I go ride.
I was more after ideas to help her settle in the cot.
But since 90% of people here think a baby can't have a shred of independence and hence all adult life ceases to exist I will seek advice elsewhere and shut down this madness.
Phew what a ride. Got way more than I bargained for. Hope yall (the rude ones) got enough entertainement in your boring day.

Do you have the means to pay for a babysitter? Or is there another mum that you can team up with, you ride for 30 min. while she watches the children and then she rides and you eatch the children? Can the father or grandparents help on set days for an hour or so?

But since 90% of people here think a baby can't have a shred of independence and hence all adult life ceases to exist I will seek advice elsewhere and shut down this madness

Absolute bollocks. I have plenty of independence and ‘adult life’. I use childcare.