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Original poster

Horseriding with a screaming 9months old

133 replies

Pumkins · 22/10/2018 12:51

Hi there -
Title says it all. I have a very active, busy 9months old DD. She is happy to be independent in the house, at clubs, goes to nursery no probs, will explore her surroundings and so on. She spends lots of time with dad and family as well as quality time with me when I am off (working flexi hours).
She goes in the pram as well as the sling (soft back and woven wrap) and loves the yard, animals the horses etc...
I can lunge and do loose work with my horse no probs she goes in the sling and loves it but I can't get 20min to ride. Literally. I cannot have her in the pram she goes mad, so I set up a little travel cot with toys and comforters on the side of the arena. Ideal, I can see her, she can play, she has slept, eaten and is clean, she is happy and giggling about.
Then I put her in the cot - cue screaming... non stop. She wants picking up and she will scream the place down until I stop my ride and give in.
I tried leaving her -non stop crying for 35 min that was rough.
I tried moving the cot IN the arena. Great training for the horse but still no better.
Tried regular comforting (5min ride, quick cuddle, 5 min, quick cuddle)... she just wants holding.
Any idea what I can do? I have no help available and not riding is not an option for me. Especially on a beautiful, windless crisp sunny day!

OP posts:
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GinIsIn · 22/10/2018 13:24

You aren’t serious?! Even on the tack room people would be pointing out that what you are doing is completely fucking stupid! I have ridden all my life, and I have a toddler, and I still think you are being utterly irresponsible!

VintageFur · 22/10/2018 13:25

Get on a local FB group and see if there's anyone else in the same position - then arrange a sitting swap.

Or, buggy OUTSIDE the arena and headphones on.

Blarneybear · 22/10/2018 13:25

Oh god you can't lunge with baby in a sling, don't be daft. You will have to get someone else to look after your horse until she can be left happily on her buggy OUTSIDE THE ARENA out of harm's way.

I do hope there are other people around though because if by some chance you fell badly then what would happen to your dd?

I own and ride horses btw

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LiquoricePickle · 22/10/2018 13:27

I have horses and I think that you're beyond crazy for doing this.

Imagine you have a fall and are injured, what's your baby supposed to do? Imagine a bird startles your horse and he spooks into the cot?

Are there any other riders with young children at your yard? Could you take it in turns to watch the children? Could you afford a babysitter? You could even take them to the yard with you so that your baby is close by?

Smarshian · 22/10/2018 13:27

This is madness! Get some childcare!

Somertime · 22/10/2018 13:27

The answer is very simple - childcare. There is no other answer. Anything else is just madness.

folduptheocean · 22/10/2018 13:29

I have a friend who owns a racehorse training stables. Her daughter grew up around the horses but... safely. The grandparents looked after her while she continued training. She wasn't in the arena. You are probably tired and hormonal as a new mother. Please take some time to rest and get some childcare. Find a nursery perhaps.

Spudlet · 22/10/2018 13:29

Bloody Nora woman, this is ridiculous. I've been around horses all my life and I think you're nuts.

You have to ride at a time when you don't have your baby with you - that's the solution. Very simple.

NerrSnerr · 22/10/2018 13:31

I agree with others- you need childcare. Can her dad look after her while you ride?

Namechanger55555 · 22/10/2018 13:34

Wow OP you have had some harsh comments.

From my point of view I don't think it's THAT bad putting the cot in the arena. But could it go just outside the fence? (A bit safer... But I know that doesn't address your issue)

What's baby like at home? Can you practice using the travel cot and same toys at home. Get her used to sitting in it on her own while you do the house work? (Let her see you are busy doing other things and don't answer every whinge)

Then start putting cot in (or just outside of) the arena.

I can imagine it's incredibly difficult looking after your horse + baby. What a challenge. Well done to you.

I have two horses but they live with my sister and mum now. I couldn't imagine having to tend to them everyday + baby in tow Shock

Original poster
Pumkins · 22/10/2018 13:38

I will definitely be looking into that ;)

OP posts:
HoustonBess · 22/10/2018 13:39

Can anyone suggest a sling I can wear while bungee jumping with my baby?

SecretWitch · 22/10/2018 13:39

No. There are no ideas. Stop being a bloody fool.

Notonthestairs · 22/10/2018 13:44

Why aren't you using childcare for this?

PinkHeart5914 · 22/10/2018 13:46

What kind of parent would put the child in the way of danger like that?

Maybe she cries because she wants her mothers attention as young dc do? Not to be dumped in a cot

Also who leaves a child crying for 35 minutes no stop, that is cruel

Seriously you don’t want to stop riding and that’s fine but baby either needs to be with Dad, a babysitter or look at nursery a few days a week. The solution is childcare!

greendale17 · 22/10/2018 13:47

You need to get a grip. You post on a public forum, explaining how you can't do what you want because your baby needs more attention. You put your baby in danger and then you get stroppy because people call you up on it!!

^This. All you will get is judgement from anyone that knows you. How can a responsible mother put their baby in danger like this?

Lost5stone · 22/10/2018 13:48

Seriously, childcare! That is your only option.

TatterdemalionAspie · 22/10/2018 13:52

Having the cot in the arena is clearly stupid, but I'm not quite seeing why lunging a horse with your baby strapped to you is so deathly dangerous? Is it so much more dangerous than driving a car? Or crossing a road/walking up and down stairs with a baby strapped to you? Surely accidents can happen any time?

shiningstar2 · 22/10/2018 13:57

I am astonished that anyone who has experience of horses thinks its ok to put a baby inside the arena with a horse. The most experienced rider can lose control if a horse spooks and tragic consequences can occur in the few minutes ...even seconds it takes to bring the horse back under control. You say your baby is independent at clubs and nursery the only idea I have is to use some of the time your baby is at nursery or clubs for your riding.

LadyDuplo · 22/10/2018 13:57

Madness. Utter madness.

Poor baby.

Get childcare.

(Btw I have children and used to own horses - even a "bombproof" pony).

SillySallySingsSongs · 22/10/2018 13:57

Here's an idea. Don't do it.

TokyoSushi · 22/10/2018 14:01

But what are you trying to do though? Leave a 9 month old baby on their own at the side of an arena while you ride a horse?!

Whether you want the judgement or not, it's a ridiculous idea and not going to work. What are you going to do when they're a toddler and running about all over the place?

SinkGirl · 22/10/2018 14:03

You have a baby now. Not riding absolutely is an option if you can’t do so safely - leaving your baby to scream for 35 minutes is not okay.

I have 2 year old twins and no family to help out, nor do I have the money for childcare for two toddlers, so I’ve had to give up many things for the time being. They won’t be babies forever. You absolutely could not ride for a while, or you could only ride when family are available to watch her, or you could pay someone to look after her.

Trust me, as she gets more mobile it will only get more difficult.

shamofamockery · 22/10/2018 14:06

Reported.

Biscuit
yongnian · 22/10/2018 14:08

Have been in your position - not a horse professional or competing but with my eldest DD I did have a youngster I was desperate to start, full time school was the saviour. By the time second DD came along I was even more desperate to restart said youngster (and other horses to work) - so I paid for part time childcare. Other times I handed her to DH. I found I absolutely could not split my mind and attention whilst both young children and horses were in the mix, unless someone else trusted/capable/ professional was looking after DD or on hand. There were times where horses had extended turn-away which was often very frustrating.....but honestly, it was worth its weight in gold to be able to know both sets of responsibilities could be cared for appropriately and safely.
I remember one memorable day having booked farrier and vet for sedation (for the farriery), which was tricky to get them both lined up schedule wise and would have had to pay regardless if I’d cancelled plus horses’ feet needed doing...was booked for just after nursery drop but ended up having to bring DD2 along instead of taking her to nursery because she was ill that day. Luckily DH had been roped in as back up and could deal with the farriery situation plus both vet and farrier had got young families and kids similar age (plus owned horses) so they were understanding too, but it was stressful. After they went, me and DH were stood supervising the doped horse and poorly DD (well wrapped up and medicated too!) snuggled off to sleep in my arms. We both just sat there til both horse and baby came round, put horse away and took baby home.
Honestly OP, I do get it, but get some childcare (even if you pay someone responsible at the yard) - you will all be happier, safer and less stressed as a result. There are times when even that fails, as above and you need back up - horses and families are a massive juggle. But good childcare is key.