6 year old causing havoc with neighbours

[Amiemac]

I’m literally at my wits end! We live in a street I grew up in as a child. It was a great neighbour hood, now since my kids have been in it the neighbours are so easily annoyed. Don’t get me wrong my 6 year old is no angel but I seem to be getting knocks at my door constantly over him. It just puts my anxiety levels up and makes me feel really low. A few months ago he threw a few stones into one of their gardens and the man came up and was extremely rude about it and approached me in a horrible manner, fast forward to yesterday my next door neighbour came out complaining about a football that hit her window. I’ve spoke to my son about this and have even went as far as to ground him for the week, I just feel as though either I’m doing a bad job parenting or my neighbours hate me. I’ve had a rough year with a miscarriage and mental health issues and my neighbours are very aware of this, I just don’t know what to do.

You don’t know it’s the first time your son had kicked a football into the neighbours window, it could be the 20th time - you don’t know because he’s playing out unsupervised.

Hi OP I can’t really tell from your post what advice you are looking for? Is it just twice since you’ve moved in that people have complained about behaviour? To be honest I think it’s pretty reasonable to have a word with the parents if there’s a kid throwing stones at your window. Maybe just save the footballs for the park, I don’t let my DS have balls in the street in case he hits something.

Op, perhaps keep him in - which will be easier now it’s getting colder. Play UNO or other games with him. Get him some Lego or some puzzle books and play with him.

If you know he's mucking about then you don't allow him outside. It's that simple. He must know he is misbehaving, what is his behaviour like in general ?

@mypointofview I was just seeing if anyone had any advice on what I could do, this is a parenting thread after all, I wasn’t expecting a torrent of abuse! In one comment my son was called a dick, I wasn’t on saying the neighbours were completely wrong or my son was an angel

If a stone hit you in the head it could be life threatening, I would take balls away if my son just kicked them at next door as well. I think you need to be a lot tougher on him otherwise it will get out of hand

Well indeed holey. I’m lucky to live a relatively calm life and have to say I felt both stressed and anxious when some knobber smashed my front window with a ball and fucked off leaving me with an unsafe window, loads of broken glass and a £70 bill to replace it. Only has to happen once!

Start parenting him then OP?
What was a 6 year old doing outside unattended for so long that he was able to throw stones at your NDN?
If you kept your eye on him a little better you might find your son starts to behave!

just feel as though either I’m doing a bad job parenting or my neighbours hate me Well in response to other posters, you've decided that you are not doing a bad parenting job. So that only leaves the neighbours hating you. Are you looking for ideas to change that? As having your 6yo apologise might be a good start ...

@angkorwaat I’ve lived in the street for 13 years so no it’s not happening on a regular basis, I’ve 5 children and thankfully no problems, only the two things I stated in my post

Six is too young to be unsupervised outside in the front garden. That’s all the parenting advice needed. Not said to be arsey - just the way it is. Supervise him when he is outside.

Amiemac, you've only been TOLD he's being a pain in the arse twice. He will have been misbehaving for a while before your neighbours got sick of a feral child throwing stones and kicking balls at their windows.

Right. So exactly what advice do you want? These two events are apparently the only things to have happened, with 5 kids, yet you now think the neighbours hate you? Either you're understating the number of times your kids have pissed off the neighbours, or you're overstating their reactions. Just get on with your life and stop worrying about what other people think, or correct the issues at hand.

@Amiemac cannot believe how rude people are being to you !! Just read through all the comments I used to annoy my neighbors all the time when I was a kid admittedly a lot older than 6. I can fully understand why your neighbors where annoyed though so maybe just move on from the situation and forgot about it. I'm pretty sure no one supervising there kids in there gardens which is more or less the same thing I don't understand why people are so nasty !

sponge football! or one of those on a string! if hit anything the worst that will happen is slightly dented flowers & muddy marks- but did you ask him why he was throwing stones - because even a 6 year old should know that's naughty. Do you have a back garden or only a front? tired though you are you need to keep an eye because there are some not nice people around - get a chair & a book & sit in the garden with one eye on him & relax at same time (& a cup of tea/coffee of course!)

@nightswatch999 where did I say in any of my comments how long he was out for?? Or is this you coming up with your own scenario?? BTW he was in the garden 5 mins with his 15 year old sister, just thought I’d state this since you thought he was in the garden for so longggg

If you aren’t able to watch him, then he shouldn’t be playing out. You don’t know it’s the first time it’s happened, it’s just the first time they’ve complained.

I didn't call your son a dick. I said he was BEING a dick, and it's true. Throwing stones is dickish behaviour regardless of age. Happily there is an easy solution, which is to do what every single poster has told you to do. Supervise him.

@Amiemac it's not you parenting that is a problem he was supervised by a 15 year old ! Ignore nasty people

Only 5? In a terrace? Why so few? Are you an environmentalist?

Watch him. Yourself. Not another child. Or only let him in the secure back garden (if you have one). You said he’s causing “havoc” so parent him and stop it.

ar44455, no, it is the problem. If the child misbehaved under the supervision of a 115 year old, he needed adult supervision. Children who misbehave for teenaged babysitters shouldn't be left with them.

@bumdishcloths I’m probably overstating the reactions ( my neighbours hate me) because my anxiety kicked into gear so yes you are correct but I can’t help feeling like that

Mumsnet really isn't a nice place sometimes OP. Don't take it personally. I would go to netmums with this. It's a problem because of how you're feeling, not because it's really a problem. Be kind to yourself.

Keep him indoors or under your direct supervision until he learns to behave himself. You’re so defensive of your position as the nightmare family on the street; the neighbours must rue the day you moved in.