6 year old causing havoc with neighbours

[Amiemac]

I’m literally at my wits end! We live in a street I grew up in as a child. It was a great neighbour hood, now since my kids have been in it the neighbours are so easily annoyed. Don’t get me wrong my 6 year old is no angel but I seem to be getting knocks at my door constantly over him. It just puts my anxiety levels up and makes me feel really low. A few months ago he threw a few stones into one of their gardens and the man came up and was extremely rude about it and approached me in a horrible manner, fast forward to yesterday my next door neighbour came out complaining about a football that hit her window. I’ve spoke to my son about this and have even went as far as to ground him for the week, I just feel as though either I’m doing a bad job parenting or my neighbours hate me. I’ve had a rough year with a miscarriage and mental health issues and my neighbours are very aware of this, I just don’t know what to do.

People have given advice - don’t let a 6 year old play unsupervised

If the front garden fencing / edging is low enough he’s annoying neighbours like this then it’s not safe enough for him to be out there unsupervised. Anything could happen really, I think the neighbours moaning are the least of your worries. Is there a back garden he can play in?

Thank you tamzinro, think one of these people just called my 6 year old a dick! That’s really lovely- and I’m the one receiving abuse! Gosh you must be all parents of the year and have perfect children!

Are you looking for advice about what to do about your 6 year old's behaviour, or how to respond to the neighbors? I must say my kids do play out and did at 6 with through the window supervision, bobbing out every so often, and have never thrown stones into anyone's garden, I don't think its an inevitable thing to happen. The football thing depends on your street layout I guess, but nobody would be happy with footballs hitting glass, very different from just coming over a fence.

You were looking for advice and you've been given advice.

Perfect? No. Supervised? At aged 6? Yes. He’s being a PITA in the front garden so stop letting him play there.

Op - 'what should I dooooo??!!!'
Everyone - 'do this, you're being a bit irresponsible'
OP - 'waa waa you're all horrible'
And the poster didn't call your 6 year old a dick, they said he was BEING a dick - big difference

You don’t mention in your post that your son is “unsupervised” so am not sure why pps have come to that conclusion? I’m assuming he is playing in either the back or front garden (or just outside the house) and you are able to keep an eye on him through the window. I can’t believe you think your son is doing anything wrong by playing football outside!!!! Where else is he going to play it!! If I was your neighbour I’d find it a bit odd if I didn’t get kids balls flying into my garden if I lived next door to a family. I don’t understand why your neighbour found it necessary to come round and shout at you (knowing you are alone and not well) because a ball hit their window ONCE in 6 years?? Why couldn’t he have just shouted out of the window for your son to be careful? And about him throwing some stones into his garden, fgs just tell him to stop throwing stones in his garden!!! There’s no reason for him to approach you about it unless it was a regular thing. Fair enough if he was throwing stones at cars or people, or if he actually smashed a window. Your neighbours sound like they aren’t very accommodating at all and either I’d move to somewhere a little more family friendly or I’d ignore them unless you think that your son has done something really naughty and warrants a telling off.

The advice is don’t just let him in the front garden and expect him to behave. Punishment probably isn’t the best way forward. Take him to activities and interact with him by doing things with him. Go the park and push him on the swings. Feed ducks. Take him to football club or beavers. Let him help you cook. Read with him. Build Lego houses with him and do colouring with him.

All of the kids near us play in their garden,or parents take to the park.just as I did with mine.6 isn't old enough to be left out alone .

Do you have a back garden? That would probably be a better place to play than the front garden.

My neighbour's' 6 year olds made our lives hell when we first moved here, precious little sods. Why on earth should anyone have to put up with brats whose DPs chose not to control their DCs? Thankfully the local PCSO sorted them out.

Either supervise him or don't let him play in the garden! It really is that simple.

I have a terraced house. And a 6year old. No ball games here. Not got the space without it constantly causing a issue. So that's a game for the park.

Put your phone down, turn the telly off and take your child to the park. Leave the phone at home too.

@maybugger it’s not a regular occurrence, these two things have happened over the last 4 months, he wasn’t unsupervised I’ve 4 other kids and was doing homework with one of them and my 15 year old daughter was in the garden with him, I don’t have eyes on the back of my head, if these things happen they can happen in a matter of seconds I can only tell him off and bring him in which I do. Most people’s advice is to basically to never let him in the garden again and just keep him locked in the house

If the stones and football were a one off I think your neighbours are being harsh. If your ds is constantly doing things then there needs to be consequences, which you have done. As suggested park after school may burn off some steam. Its hard tp deal with everything and no one has the perfect child. I personally feel people have less tolerance in general.

Well why is he being allowed to play ball games? Why isn’t the 15 year old properly supervising? Why should your neighbours have to put up with balls and stones bouncing off their house?

Sorry but your own issues aren't relevant. You need to control your child

For goodness sake, I can't believe the comments on here. Stones in a garden? That is a trivial event. A ball against a window is annoying but yes, accidents do happen. It is absurd to expect parents to be 'supervising' children playing in secure gardens. The whole point of having a garden is so that children can play in it unsupervised. That should be regarded as normal. As should a a little bit of sensible adult tolerance for normal childhood behaviour. Children are part of our communities and there should be a little bit of give and take. It is the adults who are entitled and 'precious' if they think children should effectively be erased from communities to suit them.

@sirzy, I’ll state this again, with the next door neighbour yesterday that’s the first time it has ever happened so it’s not a matter of putting up with it like it happens every day or something!! I’ve saw kids younger than him actually run the streets unsupervised doing all sorts of stuff and nobody bats an eyelid! My child hits someone’s window with a ball once and everyone loses their mind!!

@Amiemac I think grounding him for a whole week is a bit of an odd punishment for a 6year old. Staying in for a whole week (when taking him to the park to let off steam would be beneficial) is just punishing yourself. If the ball is the trouble, maybe it’s not allowed in the front garden? If he upsets the neighbours when not supervised, he can only go out with supervision? Surely that makes more sense?

I don't know what anyone can say to help you though. What were you hoping for?

As long as you're prepared to pay to replace a window if it gets broken then ok, why can't henot play with a football in the front, are you going to feel so chilled about it if he breaks one of your windows or it hits a person or a moving car.

OP, listen to the almost unanimous responses.

You'd be hard pushed to find neighbours that would not be pissed off with a child throwing stones or kicking balls at their window. You should be thanking your lucky stars he didn't smash a window.

No one is crucifying you. This is how most people would react.

You need to suck it up, apologise to the neighbours, and keep your son in unless you're with him. He's obviously not at a stage he can be out alone.