Is six children too many ?

[mozhe]

Someone,( a colleague..but I do not know them well ), just stopped me in the corridor at work...noticing I was pregnant they asked me if it was my first, when I told them ,' no, it's my 6th '...they said,' six is too many ', and strod off....Is six too many ?

mozhe No no no

18 weeks would be a start

Personally I couldn't work and be anywhere near the kind of mother I think my kids deserve. I'm lucky that I don't have to earn money.

Mozhe, how old are your children?

No 6 isn't too many if you're able to give the time and love.
My parents were both from families of 6 and Im from a largish family and it was always a case of the child who shouts the most (be it be literally or by being naughty) gets the most attention.
So please if you have a little one who is cute, shy, sensitive, intelligent and quiet give him/her the love/time/attention too.
Id love six in a different parallel universe, right now im getting to grips with one

Hello
FWIW I am one of eight children and whilst I had a very loving happy upbringing there were definate and substantial disadvantages sufficient for me to have decided long ago that four or five would be my absoloute absoloute max. As it happened we stopped at three.

4 is enough for me; I don't think i could dole out enough meaningful attention to any more.

But we should all be confident in our choices, or at least accept our circumstances, whether it's one child or 6,7,8 or more.

I grew up as 1 of 6, but am actually 1 of 9.

It is fab to have lots of brothers and sisters, but as said before there are also disadvantages to being one of a large brood. I probably wouldn't have more than 3/4 max personally, but I suppose it is dependant on lots of factors, such as age differences, financial circumstances etc.

I think that lots of people DO judge large families in a negative way, something which I certainly picked up on as I was growing up.

I'm paranoid enough as it is. I'm always worrying that the children aren't getting enough attention and there are always some that get more than others at different times, but over all I try my best to make the time and attention they get as evenly spread as I can and this means I have to give up my time.
At the moment I get an hour a day off, that's it, no more than that. But I made my decision to have kids and that has responsibilites.

i'm planning on 3. DP is having the snip after this one (DC2) and we're hoping to adopt a 3rd child.

When i was a teenager i wanted a huge family like the Walton's, but now i know the value of council tax / water rates / food / gas, and the value of peace and quiet once in a while, 3 is def my max!

3flights...I certainly DO care what people think, that is why I started the thread ! I'm not asking folk to tell me how many children I should have, nor am interested in telling others how many they should have...I'm interested in what sort of processes people on here go through to help them decide their optimum number is. These processes will have similarities and differences....plus people's stories and musings are really interesting, so don't know why you are baffled ? also ...
Kitty...your thoughts are interesting,( especially to me as you already have 6! ),my children are DSsx3 aged 6,5,4 and DDsx2( twins!), very nearly one....plus due no6 early october.
otter- 18 weeks is a long time to be doing something you do not really want,( or need imo..),to do.What if a 'dedicated' sahm was told she ought to go to work fulltime for the 18 weeks following birth ? It might be very difficult, if not absolute hell for her..think about it.

I often wonder why some career woman decide to go on to have so many children, why are you having another child mozhe if you don't mind me asking?

Must admit that thought had crossed my mind,too, Scottishthistle.

Mozhe, I too am curious about that.
I thought it was hard for me with 6 children 8 and under, but to have 6 children 6 and under.... Who looks after them when you're working if you don't mind me asking?

good question kitty, from a fellow mum with 6... interested in the answer!

Maybe its to fill out forms with 'alphamummy' under what you do for a living. oh hang on you only need 3 for that heehhee
only joking quite glad m and z ruffle up the murky waters of mn from time to time. well all the time...

The Nanny of course though she'll prob have an au-pair too!

I love children and find being a parent very fulfilling,fun,rewarding.....I could go on and on !I come from a big family myself, my mum was also a doctor and worked fulltime...she was an ace mother,lovely and a real inspiration too.Yes my children are looked after by a nanny,( she's been with us from day 1 with baby no 1 !!), and when our maternity nurse goes we probably will have an aupair to help our nanny...I might add that I am on my own without DH during the week as he works in London and self and children are currently living/working in France..

I haven't read the whole thread, but I always wanted six. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to cope or afford six. I would need a nanny and housekeeper. Also I really wouldn't want to be pregnant again. (I have 3) If you can afford it, have the room in your house, and can devote individual time to each child, then good for you. For some one would be too many!

What exactly does a maternity nurse do???

i am not sure if i could cope with 6 under 6 especially at 44, i am 41 and am trying to make my mind up if i want number 4 (1,3 and 4yrs) inother words, i really would love to have another but can i cope with looking after them and thier needs and myself being too tired or old when they get in thier teens. respect to you for having six and being so relaxed, could you cope without the nanny, my husband is away or out most of the time and not very helpfu lat the weekends!

It was more your

do you think my children are lucky ? Am I impressive ? And should I keep up the good work ?

comment. It seemed like you were genuinely having a laugh. A psychiatrist seeking the approval of strangers - it just didn't ring true for me.

As countless people have said before each to their own - if you think you can cope then crack on! Only other people's business if you ask their opinion.

I would be struggling with my DH away every week - I hate when he travels for work. And I hated it even more when we were overseas and didn't have our normal support network, despite the fact I made friends through work, sport, etc. Having other permanent help must be vital. Any plans for number 7?

think about it mohze

No - think about your baby

3flights...I was being sarcastic
kItty....she looks after mother and baby 24 hrs a day,( well she has a couple of hours off in pm usually...and one day off a week ),and sees to everything they need.Mine helps with breastfeeding/settling/pampering me...it's lovely,( tho' expensive...but no holiday this year in the Mozhe household, as too pregnant to fly, so we use that ££s ), and help s you get back on your feet quickly. I will keep her for about 8 weeks, so she'll probably do the early ' going back to work ' programme too..We've had her for all our babes and she's brilliant.

Crikey, that's a bit like being royalty, innit?

kittyhas6, a MN looks after a newborn baby in their home 6 days a week 24 hours a day!

I just had to look that one up -

maternity nurse job description

I'm still trying to get my head round it.
I don't think there would be much call for one in our house. Night feeds - breast fed, so she couldn't do that. Sterilising and making up bottles - didn't use them.
Now if she could do the cooking and washing I might have considered it but it looks like she gets to do all the best bits.