Afficionados of How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk HELP please

[unknownrebelbang]

Ok, the thread's too long for me to something similar has been covered, but you seem quite impressed with it, so.......

DS2+3, 10 and 8, can sometimes be a pita at bedtime. (Sometimes aided and abetted by DS1).

They're loud and boisterous lads, and tbh most of the time they're only sitting talking, but they're soooo loud.

The problem is DH sometimes has vvv early starts and often goes to bed before them, and then is kept awake by their nattering.

What should we be saying to them to get them to show some consideration, be quieter, and ultimately go to blardy sleep?

DT am shocked. This is a serious place for serious parenting issues. There will be NO MORE bodypopping.

can we help you with anything?

oh you see this "talk so children will listent o parents talking and listen to other people talking" or whatever it is sounds good - have lurked on the thread not read the book of course. I kind of get it and kind of try and employ it but more often than not (probably 100 times a day) resort to the good old threat "if you don't put your shoes on now you are not coming out" type thing.

Also I can't dance.

Hmm. You are doing good. You are DESCRIBING the consequences to the non-putting on shoe situation. if it gets bad then you can say 'wouldn't it be great if we none of us ever wore shoes. We could go on the eurovision song contest like sandy shore. we'd be famous. we'd sing. who cares if we can't dance.'

He'll be out the door like a shot.

with shoes on.

so you just behave like a psychedelic loon making bizzare prophecies about the outcomes of the crazy child's behaviuor?

Message withdrawn

I mean, what's not working Pinchouette?

DT - aha, ahem, yes, sort of. Is complicated. You might need to apply for the Intensive Weekend Course.

Beyonce finger Question! Does this work with anxious children, as well? I've got a 6 year old spazzing out every night about Cybermen. What do I say to her? (readies notepad, drinks gin, pulls face)

Have you gone Pintchouette? Come back. Am friendly honest, don't be intimidated by the big desk and stylish accessories, they ARE NOT MINE.

Ahhh. okay. Not sure. Have another gin, do some doodles in your notepad and I'll go and look in THE BOOK.

Another gin? Is that wise? (looks owlishly into the bottom of the nearly empty bottle, and at legs, which appear to be dacing to "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany)

LordV - can't find anything about cybermen in the book. Bit stuck to be honest. Buy her a sonic screwdriver from a toy shop. Tell her she's armed and has nothing to fear.

This isn't strictly speaking HTT advice. This is me being a bit desperate really. Can I have some gin?

Well you could try the HTT, or you could try my own special parenting technique. I think it's really going to work for mellowma! Works very well with anxious children too.

You become a cyberman.

Study the way they move, the way they talk, dress sense, mannerisms etc. Make dinner, serve dinner, bedtime routine etc. Start scary as a cyberman, but slowly, slowly, introduce an element of bodypopping. Then, by lights out, cyberman can be really very silly - fall over, spill things over yourself, get your words mixed up.

Your child will go from confusion and terror, to amusement tinged with embarrasment and pity. Job done.
Thank you.

Oh dear, poor LordV. She came here for HELP Boco.

Let's slip out shall we? We can shut up the office for a bit, Dogsby'll never know.
Let's go have some newbie fun.

Burst drunkenly into sleeping child's bedroom, screams "Delete! Delete! Techno techno techno techno!" Does a bit of sick in mouth, tries to discreetly decant it into a cup, falls over, say "The cybermummy loves you! And I'm gay!"
Are you sure this will work?

starts walking to child's bedroom

boco - I think the 'amusement tinged with embarrassment' is an understatment - your mum is pretneding to be a cyberman - you are not tinged with embarassment you are riddled with embarassment!

• does a bit of sick in mouth? Just out of interest, as I'm putting my coat on now, what does this mean??

100x, I've brought you that sandwi....

what IS going on in here?

Ok stop!
Hold on, you've kind of got the idea but you really need to take your time over this, it's not supposed to be an ambush method. Start being cybermummy gradually, the odd gesture, a turn of phrase - and NEVER start on a sleeping child.

I really think this could work, but I think you should start in the morning. Maybe do a bit of practice tonight - get the tinfoil out. Have some coffee.