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Proud to have breast fed

320 replies

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 25/04/2018 19:15

I will start off by saying I don't care if you bf or ff. I see so many posts where women say they ff but none on bf. they get taken down or people straight away think it's a dig. Honestly what ever you chose to do you do.

However after so many negative and nasty comments when I was breastfeeding I can say I did it. I didn't give in to the people who were nasty I didn't let them bully me into stopping. I was a younger mum not young young but I was young and I was still very insecure about a lot of things and I did not feel supportive.
I do remember once the first time I breastfed on the bus I did that thing where I assumed everyone would be staring and one elder gentlemen was and he just grinned a very kind grin and that kept me going through some of the nasty comments.
If you are breast feeding and getting comments from family or friends please ignore it because looking back they were just insecure (not everyone but the ones I New) or they are just plain nasty. Anyone who makes a nasty comment about that isn't nice nor needed.
But remember wether you breastfeed or bottle it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Online people get so angry about it but it really doesn't matter guys

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gladisandherpug · 26/04/2018 13:55

I was gonna say those 2 things are facts. Very few people cannot actually breastfeed and of course breastmilk is better for your child- it was designed specifically for their body and milk for another species or soy milk altered for human babies will never ever compare to it.

gladisandherpug · 26/04/2018 13:58

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gladisandherpug · 26/04/2018 14:02

And breastfeeders are constantly attacked everywhere about not shoving it in people's face, people telling you not doing in over 6 months and people saying it's a worthless thing to do because it's just as good as powdered milk (which it isn't).

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gladisandherpug · 26/04/2018 14:05

Whenever anyone mentions anything good about breastfeeding people instantly just to the the defence of formula. Never vice versa. Be proud.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 26/04/2018 14:07

Agree with others saying, is this somehow different from being proud of weight loss or running a marathon or other achievements? Most 'proud' achievements can be countered with examples of people who just can't do the same, and some are just as emotive as infant feeding.

Breastfeeding my first child is the hardest thing I've done. It was gruelling in a way that eg my academic achievements haven't been. I am HUGELY proud of myself for managing it. That doesn't mean that my efforts were greater than those of women who desperately wanted to and just couldn't... it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with formula... but it was important to me, I overcame some significant obstacles, and I succeeded.

I think also it's often assumed that we're all receiving much the same cultural messages and pressures. Definitely I know there are pockets of the UK where health professionals and peers can be really fucking horrible about formula feeding, but it's also true that for some women the opposite experience is true, with family and friends consistently undermining a mother's breastfeeding and/or health professionals promoting formula top-ups where they are not needed etc, or being unwilling to accommodate bf eg when choosing which medicines to prescribe. Overcoming that sort of stigma is no small feat and is worthy of recognition.

Chocness · 26/04/2018 14:12

Bearing in mind that the majority of women struggle with breastfeeding I don’t think it’s unreasonable for the op to be proud of persevering with breastfeeding, assuming she found it very hard to get it established in the first place as so many mothers do. I’m just not sure why the need to post about it on mumsnet though. Maybe as encouragement to new mums or for some other reason? If not then I agree it’s goady and comes across as attention seeking.

Isadora2007 · 26/04/2018 14:14

During pregnancy you should be given information about breast and formula feeding, left to make your own decision and that be it.

But that doesn’t take into consideration the effects of the cultural society “norms” that have seeped into our minds over our lifetime. The milk adverts (who even notices they’re for follow on milk?) the adverts in women’s magazines or websites (yes even here!) for “perfect prep” or signing up for mother to be clubs that give out free bottles, vouchers etc. So much bottle feeding messages are bombarded at us in every day life- new baby cards have bottles. Even when I type baby on my iPhone an symbol option is a bottle.
So no... people don’t need to be given info about bottle feeding as it is everywhere- just look at our abysmal breastfeeding rates! People need to be taught about the biological norm- about the size of a newborns stomach (a thimble!) that does NOT need 4/6 oz of anything right after birth. That a baby feeding nearly constantly is okay and can be normal. People should know the best ways to support a BF mother and where to look for good accurate advice and support.

So no. It’s not right to just leave people to it. Not in my opinion anyway.

gladisandherpug · 26/04/2018 14:14

@Chocness I think it's in response to a very discouraging thread about hating breastfeeding which is just basically telling people there's no point. I'm very glad this thread was created. Yes breastfeeding is fantastic and me and my baby love it and I hope others are encouraged to do it to.

Chocness · 26/04/2018 14:17

Sure Gladis but that’s not clear is it. If that is the ops intention then fair enough but we don’t know that for sure so for some it’s causing offence.

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 14:18

@TreasureInMyTummy it's good to feel proud especially after such a struggle. You have the perfect attitude don't compare to anyone else do your thing.

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 14:20

@isadora2007 perfectly said

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 14:21

Yes which is why this thread is great because so many bf mums have been able to openly discuss their journey

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gladisandherpug · 26/04/2018 14:21

Was that your intentions op? To encourage people? It's encouraging regardless.

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 14:24

@Chocness I've explained loads my reason for doing it and I'm the positive posts people have also said why it is good and some said it was needed 😀 There are great threads that are supportive for ff and for talking about both. I didn't make anyone read this people have chosen to.

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gladisandherpug · 26/04/2018 14:24

Also let's not forget the constant thing where everyone and there dog bangs on about how you don't know if you're making enough milk and if you can't pump you're obviously not. It's not true at all. If your babies happy chances are you are. Most people do- that's a fact.

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 14:28

My intention was to be able to have a thread where bf mums could talk. Either being proud or openly say I've found it hard or just talk about it. Women on here have said they felt they couldn't talk about it to their ff friends in fear of offending them. Here you don't have to worry one because it's all positive and it's not a debate breast or formula because it doesn't matter and also because it's for bf mums so ff can choose not to click. 😀
It's just a thread where bf mums can come and talk about their experiences.

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 14:30

@gladisandherpump o so true. I tried pumping and it was just horrible spent ages getting nothing. If I'd have depended on the pump I would have had to give up. Well done mums who actually manage to. It's strange because I was lucky and always had full boobs but to pump you wouldn't think that

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Shmithecat · 26/04/2018 14:42

Still going at 30 months. Which, when I think about it, is pretty cool - my ds had colic and feeding was his only comfort... I remember at around 3/4 months just willing myself to get to 6 months then switch to formula. But I didn't. Aside from how utterly relentless it was, I found it quite easy. And when you look at the bfing at 12 months figures in the UK (0.5%!!), I suppose I am pretty proud of that I'm part of that statistic.

angie1984 · 26/04/2018 14:44

This is such a nice thread (minus the negative comments) I read the other thread with so many saying they regretted, felt forced and hated BF it made me sad and wondering if anyone else enjoyed BF like me. My DD is 12 weeks and we have EBF, expressed and mix fed and now back on BF I am proud to be BFing but don't judge any other mother on how she chooses to feed her baby, The only thought I have ever had to other mothers FF is post birth on the ward 'I can't believe they get co-codamol and all I get is paracetmol, I just pushed a fucking person out of me and it hurts'.

busyboysmum · 26/04/2018 14:45

@Isadora2007 great post.

If we could just have a supportive thread for mums who are breastfeeding that would be so great.

Because it isn't easy, and it can take over your life, but it is so worth it if you can manage it.

My third child I didn't enjoy breastfeeding so much as I had the 2 others and felt I was neglecting them. Just at the time when I needed to do tea time and homework and bedtime stories I would have to sit in a quiet room with the baby latched on endlessly. It was hard. And I had fed the other 2 so easily it came as a surprise to me.

And I couldn't pump at all. I felt like a cow being milked when I tried! Pump pump pump for a dribble. It felt pointless.

Thirtyrock39 · 26/04/2018 14:46

I am very proud of having breastfed all my kids and remain convinced this is how they're all really healthy now despite being fussy so and sos now and one of them surviving on about three rotated food items now (all hideously unhealthy )

SilverDoe · 26/04/2018 14:47

Isadora2007

Well no, that's not a direct comparison. And it actually just illustrates the real, underlying point of threads like these anyway. Yes, people struggling with infertility will likely be upset by threads (or real life scenarios) where people conceive successfully. So why don't we see as many posts about "My mum is the BEST mum ever" or "LOOK I've got SIX healthy children?" - is because there is nothing to be won here. Because these aspects of life have not been turned into a political or societal battleground, at least nowhere near to the same extent that feeding babies has. So you don't see threads like that often, because there's no superiority to be found - you don't judge someone for losing a parent, you can't feel as if you've bettered someone if you can conceive and they can't. Yet breastfeeding, with it's socioeconomic division and myriad other factors which mean it has become a beacon for some, and therefore a stick for some to beat others with, is a different matter.

So just to make that clearer; it's perfectly fine to talk all about breastfeeding. It's perfectly fine to be immensely proud of yourself; it's hard gong for many, and is a lot of commitment. But I have to ask, if your intention is simply to support breastfeeding mums, you made a vague title, on a general parenting forum (when there are categories specifically dedicated to this subject), are you really not aware of the social context around your post? Instead of a post with a supportive and clear title on the appropriate board?

Let's put it another way if you genuinely don't realise it's a very emotive topic for many women (which I don't believe you are unaware of in the slightest, by the way), if you are proud of running and completing a marathon, would you post about it on a board dedicated to running, or would you post it on a forum for people with mobility issues? You know full well the answer - and that because you know it would be indecent to do the latter.

The ironic thing is, I used to post shit like gladis, about BF being so much better than formula etc etc is just fact, and anyone who is upset by that, well tough. Going on the journey of having 2 babies I learned a few things. The first is that breastfeeding not some holy grail of superior feeding - of course it's ideal, but the purported superiority is grossly over exaggerated by many. The second is, there are many things to do with looking after a baby that are more important than BF, and that includes the emotional well being of the mother. And the third, is that there are plenty of women who really do think it is their job to dictate the "best" way to do, well pretty much anything and everything, to do with children.

You don't own anyone else's motherhood, so it's fair to tell people they shouldn't be upset by what others say, but take responsibility for your transparent and insensitive words.

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 14:50

@Shmithecat o.5% that's crazy 😳
I said I'd do it to six months but then carried on. I read something about breastfeeding and then decided to stick at it.
More people like Tamara coming out helps.
I think In the past when they have shown breastfeeding past 6 mo th it's a hippy older lady with a 7 year old (again fantastic I am not judging at all) but to young girls or any mum that doesn't show the bigger picture. For me I was a normal girl who fed my baby. Girl next door and we need to see more girls next door doing I think to give people who do want to do it but feel pressurised not to "because it's wierd" 🙄 The courage to go no she's like me and she does it.
I hope that made sense and I don't mean any offence to the people I've said on telly like I described I think ur great.

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 14:53

@Silverdoe that your problem you read this and thought she is trying to win. NO I am not. No one is. Bf mums are trying to support one another. I've said again and again this is not a competition. If this was a ff page you wouldn't go o its a competitions ive seen many where ff are proud and good they should be.
Stop looking to be offended.

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 14:54

@angie1984 thank you. I'm glad you can see the messages 😀

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