Proud to have breast fed

[Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays]

I will start off by saying I don't care if you bf or ff. I see so many posts where women say they ff but none on bf. they get taken down or people straight away think it's a dig. Honestly what ever you chose to do you do.

However after so many negative and nasty comments when I was breastfeeding I can say I did it. I didn't give in to the people who were nasty I didn't let them bully me into stopping. I was a younger mum not young young but I was young and I was still very insecure about a lot of things and I did not feel supportive.
I do remember once the first time I breastfed on the bus I did that thing where I assumed everyone would be staring and one elder gentlemen was and he just grinned a very kind grin and that kept me going through some of the nasty comments.
If you are breast feeding and getting comments from family or friends please ignore it because looking back they were just insecure (not everyone but the ones I New) or they are just plain nasty. Anyone who makes a nasty comment about that isn't nice nor needed.
But remember wether you breastfeed or bottle it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Online people get so angry about it but it really doesn't matter guys

@gluteustothemaximus I had that shite from my colleagues when u went back to work when dd2 was 8 months and expressed. They asked me it's not like I even mentioned my feeding choices.

@LondonJax I had to race through your post to find out the outcome for your son - feck feeding choices in that situation so pleased he got through it what a terrifying time for you xxx

Glut I had the same. Because they were insecure they put that on you. Absolutely ridiculous but once you realise that it dies t. Other me so much

@gluteustothemaximus well done. I'm glad you shared that convo. I really think ff only bitch because of insecurities but we don't care. And I feel in post some bf are so passionate because of these ridiculous comments.

Thank you so much all who commented nicely. I let myself down abit tbf but thank you

Well done xx
I found it really difficult with my daughter. We only lasted 6 weeks. It was absolute agony and I cried every time it came to feeding time. Which was nearly every hour. Looking back now I couldn't have tried any harder. I felt guilty when I started ff but I didn't have any other choice. I had built up an image in my head of how great it would be to feed her myself. The reality was very different

The first two weeks are so important and the four weeks after that you did great

OP I haven’t RTFT but I can imagine you’ve got some flack for this post. I’m proud that I’m bf my 3 DCs. I’m pretty much on my own amoungst friends and family to bf; I’ve had years of friends being frustrated with me for not being able to go out and “just give them a bottle”, years of grandparents getting snippy when they can’t have the baby because they can’t feed them, years of being ushered into a separate room to feed or males leaving the room because “they don’t want to see all that”.

So in light of all that, yea I’m proud to have carried on and not given in to the huge societal pressure I’ve personally felt to ff. well done to you too

I am very proud and glad I bf. However I understand the visceral reactions it evokes because I wanted to on my first 2 and couldn’t get it together at all. I actually consider myself extremely lucky that it worked out on my 3rd, yes I put in a lot of hard work to sort out BF problems but also there was finally the right support in place. I also was very happy with FF my other 2 in the end because I had to.

I breastfed baby no1 until 14 months.
Baby number 2 until 5 months when he dropped off the red book chart and went onto formula
Baby number 3 is still feeding and was 2 at the end of March.

So I have experienced both the pride and the bitter feeling of feeding both ways. I admit I sat and cried over breastfeeders comments on the internet that I was feeding my baby poison and 'crap'. Equally I have been endlessly annoyed over the years at formula feeders comments, constantly egging onto breastfeeders posts to basically tell them to shut up.

The experience didn't turn me sour overall though, I've always known breast is best (that stuff is actually magical) but at that time formula was the best option for my son who was failing to thrive despite constantly breastfeeding. It did hurt me though, a lot, and still does if I think about it- but that is life.

@londonjax - well done for expressing. That 30ml still gave him the antibodies etc that they talk about.
Hospitals do push you to ff when your child is sick. I constantly had comments about ‘how much has she had’ ‘are you sure she’s getting enough’. They were practically forcing me to ff or express and bottle feed! I was only confident enough to push back because it was my second child and both of us were able to do it really well (I knew I had an oversupply of milk and I knew she was latching well unlike my first child). If it was my first child even though it was going well I would have felt pressure to stop!

I’m so glad your son survived and is now big and strong - you must have done something right!

Thank you for this post! My friends have been putting me off (not all of them) when I have told them I want to bf. Saying it's embarrassing and asking how I'd feed outside etc.

I've never noticed if ppl bf outside and wouldn't think twice about doing it until seeing disgust on one of my friends faces. I don't fold to peer pressure but was feeling very disheartened with it. It left me feeling very judged and like I was going to have t defend myself every time I stepped out the door.

This post has made me feel better. Ignore the negative comments. Ppl don't need to read ur post and they certainly don't need to comment.

Before I had my son, I had quite clear views on anyone who I saw as "promoting" BFing. I thought they were self righteous breastapo types with a propensity to get into other people's business and push their views on everyone, sometimes aggressively.

I disliked "them" intensely and thought that "fed is best" (I still do of course)

What I didn't realise is that there are many types of BFing mum, and only the minority are aggressively trying to promote their cause. Unfortunately when one opens their mouth, they have often already been labelled.

I never fathomed for one moment that I would so swiftly become pro breastfeeding. But I did. I struggled for the best part of 3 months bfing my ds. It was agony, there were many tears and a lot of despondent moments but he was growing so well, and I had a lot of support so I pushed on. And I am proud and happy that I did. I am in awe of the whole process. I am sonetimes a little emotional when I think about it. I never realised I would feel so strongly or sacrifice so much to continue to EBF. I have, as far as my pre baby self would see, moved to the "other side." And it's ok over here because we're not all out to make a point, and saying I'm proud and that I love breastfeeding is in no way reflecting on other people's stories or situations. If I say that I did a bloody good job in persisting, that's MY story. And FF mum's are doing a bloody good job themselves. Their story.

I wish people would stop thinking that every comment about a practice they didn't partake in, is judging them. It's not about you. I don't even think about FF when I champion BF. To me they're two separate paths that people take. And we should all be proud.

The last few comments 🤗 Thank you. Woshanboo this really did make me happy knowing it's helped you xx
Muse84 couldn't have put it better

Bully for you! I’m proud to formula feed my babies.

What a helpful contribution ^

And good for you @Shopskingirl do what you chose and be proud

Good for you OP.

Nearly all my friends have bf and I’d definitely like to and hopefully would have plenty of support.

It’s a completely different story if all the people you know have ff and it’s a huge achievement to overcome those prejudices and persevere.

Absolutely Muse. Well said.

There is a page on ff if yourd like to have a look yourll be able to talk to people who went on the same journey as you 😀 @Shopkinsdoll

Thank you Ann. I'm just glad to here this post helped another mum who got pressure from friends. This is why this post is here not to offend to help and it has 🤗

I don't understand why some people seem to get so many nasty comments about breastfeeding in public. I fed my daughter and didn't experience any. I'm regularly out with my friends who still feed and haven't had any with them either.

Ditto

If you dont care then why start a thread? Genuinely pleased for any woman who can do it and stick at it but I can't stand threads that bang on about it

Then don't open the thread and comment on it

I think the whole damn thing is being given some kind of “moral” gloss that it doesn’t need.

Agreed, but I believe it is the healthier option.

Apparently you can't be proud to have breastfed because it offends those who couldnt.

Yep that annoys the fuck out of me, why are people allowed to talk about how proud they are of their families etc- surely that will just upset people who can't have kids- I mean wtf!

This is what I mean you can never have a post about bf without everyone getting offened or it being deleted it's a shame but a sign as to how hard it is to bf/

Not never, I recently posted a thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/3230080-I-love-breastfeeding
Didn't get any negative responses at all- very positive in fact.

Ruby ... yes!!! I actually found that one after and was really happily surprised. Really happily surprised and at the people this has helped and the wonderful mums who have nicely commented

We really do need to find a way of helping mums to breastfeed and WANT to breastfeed without making ff mums feel like I did with that midwife. Even now, when I think of her words, the tears well up. Awful, unthinking woman.

Indeed, some midwives are arseholes. I had difficulty getting baby to latch- long story- but one of the midwives was such a bitch I ended up in tears. Wish I had reacted differently and told the bitch where to go.

I work in an environment that is supppsed to encourage breast feeding and support mothers who are struggling but the majority of the staff are very anti-BF. They make derogatory comments about it all the time and when I returned to work after having my first son they would purposefully make nasty comments in front of me because they knew I was still breast feeding him.

My options were to either stand up for myself, speak openly about why I breast feed, why I think it’s important etc and be seen as ‘gloating’ or to simply keep my mouth shut and let them carry on so I would offend anyone by daring to state I’m proud of my feeding choice.

I’m due to return to work in about 3 months and I’m sure things will be the same this time round. Sometimes it feels like people want to beat you down if you breast feed because choosing to do it is seen as the ‘smug’ option and nobody likes ‘big headed’ people

My sitting baby has a dairy allergy so I’ve been dairy free for the last 6 months and it’s been incredibly hard and I’ve also had to cut wheat and egg from my diet too. People look at me like I’m crazy that I would do it just so I can continue to breast feed and most people’s helpful advice is to “just put him on formula”. Even my GP was pushing formula on to me and said, “You won’t be a bad mother you know if you stick a bottle in his mouth.”

I felt like saying, “You’re right, that’s exactly why I chose to breast feed in the first place. Not because of my beliefs that babies should have human milk, not my belief in the health benefits for the baby and the mother, not because of my beliefs around it’s comforting nature and the bond and attachment I wanted, but because I didn’t want to put a bottle in his mouth

Why can’t some people understand that we really want to breast feed for many reasons and just accept that?!