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Proud to have breast fed

320 replies

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 25/04/2018 19:15

I will start off by saying I don't care if you bf or ff. I see so many posts where women say they ff but none on bf. they get taken down or people straight away think it's a dig. Honestly what ever you chose to do you do.

However after so many negative and nasty comments when I was breastfeeding I can say I did it. I didn't give in to the people who were nasty I didn't let them bully me into stopping. I was a younger mum not young young but I was young and I was still very insecure about a lot of things and I did not feel supportive.
I do remember once the first time I breastfed on the bus I did that thing where I assumed everyone would be staring and one elder gentlemen was and he just grinned a very kind grin and that kept me going through some of the nasty comments.
If you are breast feeding and getting comments from family or friends please ignore it because looking back they were just insecure (not everyone but the ones I New) or they are just plain nasty. Anyone who makes a nasty comment about that isn't nice nor needed.
But remember wether you breastfeed or bottle it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Online people get so angry about it but it really doesn't matter guys

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 16:43

@absolutleycrackers can you get me one I would wear it with such pride 🤗🤗🤗 please

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ChinnyReckon1 · 26/04/2018 16:44

You fed your child. Yay!

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 16:45

Thank you cold hard bitch. I wish I was more confident when I did it I slowly learnt. It to care when i realised they were just nasty or were insecure

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 16:46

@ChinneyReckon1 yes I did 🤗 I managed it and got that job done. Thank you for the support

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VaselineOnToast · 26/04/2018 16:46

@gladisandherpug Sorry, I don't think I made myself clear in my original post. I said that "breast isn't best; it's the biological norm" because we need to start reframing the conversation: we shouldn't be talking about the BENEFITS of breastfeeding (It's the biological norm - doing anything but breastfeeding is inherently risky!), but rather the RISKS of NOT breastfeeding. ;)

Do you see what I mean? Breastfeeding is the baseline and anything that deviates from it poses a risk. We need to talk about why NOT breastfeeding is harmful. For example, it is common to hear phrases like "Breastfeeding reduces the risk of gastrointestinal illness in infants"... Reduces the illness in comparison to what? Formula. These kinds of statements inherently assume that formula is the baseline, the norm.

To reinstate breastfeeding as the norm, we need to start speaking about it differently. We need to say "Not breastfeeding increases the risk of gastrointestinal illness in infants" instead. Reframe and make breastfeeding normal again.

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 16:47

Vaseline I do apologise. I didn't read it properly clearly. I should be mor aware before I start talking like that.

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angie1984 · 26/04/2018 16:48

@AssassinatedBeauty wow congrats on getting all those issues and you should be proud. I find bottles such a hassle, i like being able able to grab a few nappies and head out the door, without worrying if i have enough milk with me.

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 16:48

@ChinnyReckon1 what an absolute joy you are we need more people this enthusiastic. Go chinny go go go chinny 🤗

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gladisandherpug · 26/04/2018 16:49

@VaselineOnToast ah ok I get you now. Yes breast is best does have a bad stigma attached to it now.

neonyellowshoes · 26/04/2018 16:50

Wooo great idea for a thread!

It gets to the point that you can't mention anything positive about breastfeeding or be proud of it in case of offending those who FF.

I did it for 16 months. I'm not ashamed to say that I'm proud of that.

VaselineOnToast · 26/04/2018 16:52

@Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays Not a problem; I didn't make myself clear at all. I got overexcited and just started rambling!! Well done for breastfeeding your child. It can be so incredibly difficult and often very lonely and isolating without the right support. I didn't know a thing about it when I started.

ChinnyReckon1 · 26/04/2018 16:53

Oh OP, did I not give you your medal for doing something you wanted to do that benefits you and your child and something that billions of women do all around the world because well, it's very normal.

Sorry, here Star

VaselineOnToast · 26/04/2018 16:55

@ChinnyReckon1 The whole point is that breastfeeding is NOT normal in our society and this makes it a gazillion times more difficult than it should be. It's difficult for so many women. Have a bit of empathy.

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 16:56

That's a star chinny not the medal promised

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 16:57

Neon yellow shoes exactly . Be proud !!!!!

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 16:58

Chinny never will it will just promise medals then disappoint. I'm very emotional now due to no real medal

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 16:58

Vaseline it's easily done earlier I said I don't no why mums are proud of c sections when I meant to write why aren't mums proud of c sections.

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Isadora2007 · 26/04/2018 17:02

Breast is not best; it's the biological norm. The whole "breast is best" slogan needs serious re-evaluation.

To be fair the slogan came about in 1999 and hasn’t been used for a fair while now. Not officially anywhere. Maybe people just say it like they do “happy mummy happy baby” without really thinking it through.

applesandpears56 · 26/04/2018 17:08

Yey! I agree - it should be celebrated more. I battled to feed mine both times. One that wouldn’t latch, one after she came off intensive care and then during extended hospital stays. Both ended up ebf. I’m proud of myself too. My being proud of myself doesn’t negate from other people’s challenges and thriumphs.
I support whatever people decide to do.

Earthmoon · 26/04/2018 17:09

Op, you started a positive thread and it is getting derailed a lot. Don't lose heart.

applesandpears56 · 26/04/2018 17:14

I agree - positive comments only please! Let’s celebrate what other people are proud of.

Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 17:14

@Earthmoon you are right. Thank you xx

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Keepdlingwhatyourgutsays · 26/04/2018 17:15

and apples and pears thank you x

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LondonJax · 26/04/2018 17:29

Well, as a ff mum, I think you should be proud OP!

I had an emergency C-section with my DS. Struggled with BF so the midwives, reluctantly, 'allowed' me to part BF, part express (very, very little came out) and supplement with ff. Just started to get there then we found out DS had a serious congenital heart defect so he was rushed across London. We found out he had a month to live. At that point even the expressed milk just disappeared. I was in bits. No breastfeeding counsellor about to help me and obviously the children's ward nurses were tied up with very sick children. So I ff by nasal tube whilst we waited for DS to have an operation.

At the same time I developed an infection in my C-section wound to the point that the children's ward nurses were very worried and sent me to the midwives at the main London hospital for antibiotics.

Unfortunately I got a midwife who was pregnant with her first child, about to go on maternity leave and who was adamant she was going to be able to breast feed with no problem. Her words when she found out I wasn't breastfeeding? 'oh that's such a shame, you really bond better over the breast. I plan to keep it going for at least a year. Best for baby you know.' What annoyed me is that it was her first, like mine. She knew nothing! Just what she'd read and heard. I just wished her well, said I was going back to my very sick child and hoped her birth would turn out better than my experience had. Nasty I know but I just felt so small. I went into the ladies and cried my heart out.

Then, a few months later (baby boy in tow) I bumped into my local breast feeding counsellor. She'd known how much I wanted to breast feed so asked how it was going and I explained I felt such a failure for ff. She gave me a hug and said 'is he growing, is he feeding well?' I said 'yes' and she said 'then you're doing your job'.

I went home and got the expressing machine out. I managed just 30mls a day but I did it. I didn't try to breast feed. We were still being asked to monitor how much he took and I was paranoid about him not getting enough (although I now know that was a bit daft as he'd soon let me know if he was hungry and I'd go from there). But he got 30mls of my milk each day and I'm proud of that.

Oh, and he's now 11 years old - still has the problem but it's managed. I can't thank the children's hospital enough but the midwife ... nothing good to say about her. I actually think her words made me give up even trying to breast feed because I was feeling terrified for my son, hurting because of the C-section and unsupported. Such a shame.

We really do need to find a way of helping mums to breastfeed and WANT to breastfeed without making ff mums feel like I did with that midwife. Even now, when I think of her words, the tears well up. Awful, unthinking woman.

gluteustothemaximus · 26/04/2018 17:36

I breastfed all 3, through latching problems, tongue tie, mastitis, being bitten (ouch) etc etc. I am pretty proud of being the 1% breastfeeding.

And sad, that if you so much as mention it, you get nice sarcastic comments like ‘well done, you fed your child’ - that sort of thing.

Unfortunately any woman in RL (friend or family) has also been extremely unsupportive of it too. It goes like this:

SIL: still breastfeeding? Really?
Me: yes. DS2 is 6 months, I was aiming for a year.
SIL: why? What’s wrong with formula?
Me: nothing. I just want to breastfeed.
SIL: but there’s no reason why you can’t ff an evening bottle and go out.
Me: I don’t want to
SIL: why?
Me: Because I don’t want to!!

SIL then rants about how I must have a problem with formula, and how she had no choice, and it’s not poison etc etc.

Gets really boring. DH’s sister, and my mother the same. And my friend. I don’t have an issue with their choices for feeding? So why have an issue with mine.

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