When to tell daughters about periods?

[strawberrytheguineapig]

My DD is nearly 9. I’m living in denial thinking I don’t need to have this conversation for years yet. But my friend today said she was NINE when she started!!

I don’t want to leave it too late but don’t want to do it too early.

Any advice?

Thanks.

I was nine and terrified! Please tell her soon.

I don’t remember ever being told specifically, my DM always had pads and tampons in the bathroom cupboard, it was mentioned but not in detail. Children are starting younger and younger, 9 is uncommon but not unusual. I’d certainly have been talking to my DD about it before age 9.

Why would you need to be ‘in denial’? It’s a totally normal thing that happens to pretty much all women?

I started with a bit of info at 7
Then a bit more at 8
More detail at 9
Now she’s 11 we have a chat about it every now & again
She’s prob a couple of years off

You really should have had the conversation already. My eldest is nearly 10 and I had the period conversation about 2 years ago. Partly because it is more common for girls to start their periods earlier and both MIL and SIL started at 9. I was a late bloomer by comparison ay 13! Anyway just in case she needed to be aware of this, how to deal with it and feel free to ask questions. I also bought her a book to read with helpful 'period coping' tips and advice which she can refer to. She knows about sex but hasn't asked for the full details yet but that conversation is coming up very soon.

I told DD when we had our first really in-depth conversation about how babies are made. I think she was around 8.

Tell her now, DD is 10 and has always known. One of her friends started at 9 if she is year 5 they will be doing it at school soon.

She may already have hurd stuff from her friends that isn't true. I've already had several conversations with DD about stuff that's gone round the playground. As I've always been open with her about everything she's always felt confidant to ask me about anything that's been said in school.

Mine knew when they were really young. We talked about all sorts whenever it came up or they asked questions. They saw all the paraphernalia too. Nothing then was ever a big deal.

The car is a good place to do it as you don't have to look at each other and there is less embarrassment. Or give her the basics and then provide her with a book.

mine have asked questions since they were about 3 noticed me using a pad, etc. I am so glad they were totally confident with it all and thought of it as normal as my youngest has just started age 8. Her 11 year old sister hasn't yet.

Tell her, asap. There is no too early!

My eldest daughter has a vague idea about periods already, and she's three. Knowledge is a good thing, don't keep her ignorant, especially about things that will affect her body with no warning, whether she likes it or not.

I'm astonished you've managed to avoid the subject for nine years, tbh. I can't understand why you would?

All my DC knew about periods from toddlerhood
From buying them in the supermarket, 'I'm going to the bathroom alone' to seeing the washing and being told 'it's nothing to worry about, women bleed monthly when they're not pregnant.'

Mine knew from age three or four. They saw the pads and so on either in the shopping bags or ready to be used in the bathroom.

And they are boys!

I think you need to get on with it - it shouldn't be a big deal, just a drip feed of information as they get older and ask questions.

I’m in denial because she seems so young still. I was nearly 13, hence thinking I didn’t need to say anything for years yet.

As it appears I need to say something soon what do I say?

What are you in denial about ? You really should just tell her how her body works it isn't fair to keep her in the dark she could start tomorrow

My 6 year old knows about periods and has for a while. I don't understand why you haven't discussed it yet?

I've got an 8 year old boy, and he's known about periods for years. Sharing public loos, and having tampons and pads around the bathroom meant it was something we discussed pretty early on.

In my opinion it's not something that can be discussed too early. It's a normal bodily function.

Definitely do it now, for her. My mother didn’t tell me anything and that is not what I would like for my daughter.
However embarrassing it is, I force myself to tell them.
Get a book about it and read it together if you are absolutely dying of embarrassment about it.
There is a good one called ‘taking care of you’ or something like that and it might break the ice? I will find you a link for it.
Go on just do it today. Good luck!

Mine always knew i didnt keep sanitary towels hidden they were always in the bathroom

Ages ago, really - the thinking about body and sex education is that it's better as a continual to and fro. You need to have a chat asap, but also then keep the chatting and to-ing and fro-ing going; if you just have the chat out of nowhere and don't establish more of a narrative, she's going to find it very hard to bring questions up.

There are lots of 9, 10, 11 year olds who start their periods so you probably want to explain it soon.

I only have sons, but they know as I figured I didn't want it to be a mystery to them. but obviously I haven't explained too much as it wont actually happen to them.

I have had lots of conversations with 8yo DS over the years about babies and how they are made which have included about what happens if no baby is made. He's seen sanitary towels, pantyliners and tampons in the bathroom. I've also been pregnant twice so he's had questions about that which have fed into the period thing. I know it won't happen to him but hopefully he'll be understanding with his cousins and friends. He did take 2 packs of sanitary towels to harvest festival for the food bank collection as I had just found out I was pregnant and not going to need them for a while.

I'm surprised they haven't done talks on it at school during sex education. They had talks in year 4 on periods due to some girls starting that early.

My dd was 10 when she started and knew about them for around 2 years prior to that. I also got her a book about bodies changing etc so she could sit and read it when she wants to and knows she can ask questions too.

What on Earth are you waiting for? Why do you think she doesn't need to know until it's actually happening? What do you think will happen to her if she knows the mechanics of menstruation??

My DS is 9 and he knows that his voice will drop, body hair, shaving face etc because I don't want any of puberty to be weird or scary for him, or for him to be embarrassed about it when it does happen. I've also told him about menstruation because it's important that boys know about female bodies too!

Why don't you want to do it too early? Even if you tell her now and she doesn't start for another 5 years what's the harm? It's not some big scary thing unless you make it that way.

My two DDs have known about my 'bloods' as they call it since they were around 2 and still in the habit of coming in when I was in the loo. They know, as girls, that they will have them too. No big deal.