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Parenting

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Original poster

AIBU newborn

120 replies

Kitcat159 · 27/02/2018 10:34

AIBU to ask my husband who works at home to watch the baby occasionally for a few mins while I go to the loo. It will only be the odd occasion that baby is being fussy/won't go in the Moses basket and I'm desperate to go.

He said it's totally unreasonable.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Blaablaablaa · 27/02/2018 17:13

If he considers your bathroom unhygienic wait until you have to change your baby when you're out and about ...some changing facilities are awful.

It's not about that. It's about control and it's outrageous.

helloBuddy · 27/02/2018 17:20

This can't be serious?!

Caterina99 · 27/02/2018 17:21

My DH occasionally works from home. I actually don’t like it as I feel I have to be quiet and he’s judging my lack of housework and lying on the sofa drinking tea and eating biscuits while the toddler runs riot.

Your post is terrifying. Your husband sounds like a total control freak. Dictating when you can pee! That is not normal OP

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TheHodgeoftheHedge · 27/02/2018 17:22

This thread makes some depressing reading.
He is NOT one of the good ones. He's got you exactly where he wants you - under control and isolated in every single way.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 27/02/2018 17:27

Does he know you post on Mumsnet op?

Original poster

Kitcat159 · 27/02/2018 17:32

I really don't know what I'm gonna do about going back to work or child care etc yet. I have been so overwhelmed with everything and panicking about money .

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2018 17:37

Why are YOU panicking about money not both of you? You made a comment earlier about him being unhappy with your lack of financial input. What is your wonderful partner doing to aly your fears about money?

babydreamer1 · 27/02/2018 17:58

I know this won't be popular but when I work from home I'm not there for anything else, not even for a second, because I'm working and being paid to do so.

What if my phone went and it was a call I needed to take, a fussy baby would prevent me from working. Also if I'm in the middle of something I don't want to be interrupted.

Just do what you would do if he was at work elsewhere.

As long as he does his bit when he is not working I'd say he's being totally reasonable.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2018 18:01

babydreamer1 have have read the bit where he wants op to wait possibly hours before going to the loo because she can neither take the baby or let him cry for 3 minutes? And expects her to do all the housework? And doesn't let her go out alone because he doesn't trust her want her to be lonely?

Iloveacurry · 27/02/2018 18:04

I’m sorry but your husband sounds like a dick! Did you not discuss money before you got pregnant? Also his attitude about the baby making a noise whilst he’s working is appalling. Babies cry! What’s your home setup at home? Does he have an office or does he work at the kitchen or dining room table? These are things you should of thought about. And if the baby is not settling and you need to go to the toilet, just go! What do you think the rest of us did when our babies were small! And another thing, find out about some mother and baby groups.

DartmoorDoughnut · 27/02/2018 18:12

Good luck. With this controlling prick as a partner you’re gonna need it.

gingergenius · 27/02/2018 18:14

Am I the only one who for once hopes this ISN'T real. OP assuming this is real, please take notice of what people are saying. Your husband's views are not normal.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2018 18:54

Absolutely ginger

Oliversmumsarmy · 27/02/2018 18:54

Not to frighten you but sometimes you don't just squeeze out a tiny human being sometimes you have to lie there whilst they cut you open and go in to fish baby out.
There will be no hoovering or heavy cleaning or driving for a few weeks (1 week to get you in a routine can take a flying leap)

DD I couldn't put down for the first year otherwise she screamed her head off and ds screamed for 10 days straight with colic. Neither slept for more than 20 minutes at a time.

I am interested on how you are meant to keep a baby from waking your dh up in the night

alltalknobaby · 27/02/2018 19:12

I'm with you Ginger

CPtart · 27/02/2018 19:18

You're very vulnerable OP and he's taking advantage. The whole set up is just wrong. I bet he won't want you going back to work. Why on earth hasn't this been discussed before you got pregnant? Ask him tonight about it. Why are you panicking about money too? The cost of living and any childcare is shared. Another thing you haven't discussed?
I fear for your future tbh.

wilts09 · 27/02/2018 19:26

This is a wind up you fools

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2018 19:36

I reckon he'll let her sweat it then come in and rescue her nd promise to pay for her. But she needs to do all the housework whilst he takes care of the money, and there will be no spare money meeting friends.

Beware op, you aren't a princess who need rescuing, you're a mom now

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/02/2018 20:28

Separate to the controlling, alarming behaviour, I would like to point out something obvious:
If you have to pretend he’s not there to help you then he’s not there to be disturbed (by a crying baby). If he’s not home to help on he odd occasion then he can work out of the house.

GrooovyLass · 27/02/2018 20:42

OP this man is abusive. Leave now before your baby is born.

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