We spent last Sunday with some 'first baby' couples. I know we've all been there. But, really......

[Bubble99]

This was at my MIL's with Mr Bubble's cousins and their babies.

One had a NASA style baby monitor and both couples arrived with travel cots with cat-covers.

One asked Mr Bubble where the cat was and he said that it had seen sense and scarpered. A 'cat-hunt' then ensued, even though this particular baby was in an autoclaved, temperature-controlled, cat-netted travel cot.

Mr Bubble buggered off to play with the big Bubble boys, leaving me to listen to puke-making cooing and discussions about Baby Mozart.

Puke.

Was I ever that bad?

Answer.

Probably.

As for Calpol and Neurofen - why oh why didn't I buy shares in the companies who make them?

I actually did drop DD on her head when she was 8 weeks (accidentally obviously!), hows that for a BAD first time parent?!

I was told by my aunt (mother of 6) that I was the most relaxed first tiem mum shed met [preen]. This was at the point where my 3 teenage cousin kidnapped dd and took her off to coo over her.

I still havent got her baby pics developed and shes now 3!! Really must get them done

I did get one of those Baby Einstein things from the library once so maybe dd was a pfb (the women at hte end who wittered on may me feel ill tho so we never got another one)

I remember the first post baby get-together of the ante-natal group DH and I were in for DS#1. 7 brand new PFBs. You couldn't get in the door for all the baby equipment piled all over the place ..... seems ridiculous now, in fact it was ridiculous then but we couldn't see it.

Can I just add that Mr Inferior's brother and SIL came to visit as not just PFBers but very posh ones. They had, as the consequence of over-nannying, not actually got used to the idea of feeding yourself while in the company of a six-month-old and would pass her between them to eat in succession, till DP firmly slung the baby on his knee, held her in with a practised forearm and continued to shovel food into his own gob.

LOL
I'm going to sound really smug - but I was never like that at all!! and I'm not exactly the most laid back person either - no cat net things, no stair gates etc. Amazing that he's survived to age 6 with no major health scares or broken bones

Actually, I'm about to be a first time mum and have rather enjoyed this thread, particularly the bits about cat nets. We are intending to get one under pressure from both my parents (who haven't been a couple for a very long time), but I find all the comments here reassuring since one of our cats has been sleeping in a baby carseat by the window for much of the last few days. I have been taking her out of the bedroom when neither of us are in there due to several incidents of cat sickness on our bed and I'm not ready to fight with her over everywhere else.

I love these threads..My SIL actually takes her 6 week old downstairs, (two flights) in the middle of the night to change his nappy as she thinks he will find it distressing to have his nappy changed in the room that he sleeps in...

I think my DD was lucky if she got her nappy changed at all in the middle of the night unless she was dirty and kicking off

Fess up Waswondering.

Go on tell all WasWondering...

motherinferior my dh did that - baby fell asleep on a pillow on his knee on the first night. He didn't know if it was ok that she wasn't on a firm surface. Didn't want to wake me to ask, so stayed up and watched her sleeping. Love that man to bits.

WW - that's hilarious!!! Not surprised you haven't 'fessed up before now

My PFB is far too old for me to remember things that far back !

WW that is just plain hilarious, thank you for sharing.

I think my one memorable PFB thing was putting soft cuddly toys in plastic bags and freezing them to kill off any horrible germs. Did this once or twice and realised it was OTT.

Just to show how much more laid back I am now, when the smallest (2.5y) asks if he can eat the Cheerio from under the table, I say yes, in the hope that there is no mould on it...

lol Waswondering!Although now you mention it, I refused to dress DD in anything other than pure white garments till she was about 8 weeks old and even then I would only allow and accent of colour in!So maybe I was a bit mental after all...

LindzDelirium we could start a new thread - the terrible things we did to our babies.

Mine was knocking the tripp trapp high chair over onto DD1(approx 4m) when it was still in its boxes. I was an absolute hysterical mess, luckliy neighbours were in so they rushed us to the hospital - she was fine, nothing wrong with her, however it took me a long time to recover.

"both parents went off to change the infant's nappy and they took about half an hour over it." MI -I think they really hadn't let the baby change their lives. The nappy change was a decoy. they were having sex in the toilets

"I think my DD was lucky if she got her nappy changed at all in the middle of the night unless she was dirty and kicking off"

nobody certainly wakes up their babies to change their nappies if not dirty??? or do they??

I never had this PFB but I will probably develop PSB...

although I did the whole blanket/temperature/tog thing.

When DD1 was 8 weeks old I phoned the hospital's maternity ward at 3am to find out if I had to sterilise the infacol dropper before giving her some

I also hit the roof when she was 9 months old and MIL gave her a chocolate digestive. She was not supposed to have sugar until she was one at least.

When DD2 was 9 months old I turned around one day and found her licking the sole of DD1's wellie. I wasn't terribly bothered.

hehe ,pmsl at this thread.

best friend rang me in a panic when her dd was a few weeks old, wanting me to get on the bus (she lived 20 miles away at the time) and accompany her and dd to the local supermarket. why? cos they'd run out of shopping and got down to the last nappy, so couldn't avoid it any longer.
the plan was, i would take her dd to the shop in her (huge)pram, while bestfriend pushed the trolley round doing the shopping. why? cos her dd couldn't possibly sit in the trolley babyseat because she would have caught a disease or something might have fallen on her
reminded her of this a couple of months ago and she denied all knowledge of it, the cheeky mare

me? well, for a long time after dd1 was born, if i gave anyone a lift (in the car we had by that time), i used to take a detour so we could 'accidentally' go past the hospital where she was born, so that i could pull over to the kerb and point at it, and go 'that's where dd was born' ('mmm-hmm'all the passengers said)

also, when she was 3 months old, i had clothing stored in under-bed-storage bags for up to age 5 ish. in case she had a sudden growth spurt and i wasn't able to quickly get to the shops-as a parent, i must provide, you see

i'm a bit that i seem to have not had this pfb thing.

think ds has had one white baby gro in his life and it certainly wasn't NB size. when i was pregnant white was so boring! i wanted bright red and pictures and patterns.

got 3 cats, 2 dopey ones and 1 quite viscious one but no cat net. ds thinks it hilarious to grab chunks of fur out of them and yank their tails. really should keep an eye on him more when i leave him in the garden. luckily the viscious one tends to leave ds well alone. the dopey ones haven't quite learned yet!

definitely no baby mozart, although i think the baby gym i got for £10 out the charity shop played it.

ds only gets wipes on his bum if hes pooed.

don't really wash him when he gets up/goes to bed. just give his face and hands a quick wipe after eating.

nappy gets changed 4 hourly if not dirty and definitely never in the night unless dirty.

i feel guilty that my friends and family have more pictures of ds than i do. in my defence my camera broke just before xmas.

ds isn't on the move yet but definitely no stair gates. well maybe one on his room cos i plan on putting him in a bed quite soon - shock horror and he's only 10 months too!!
none of those stupid door catches or protective corners either. well maybe one on the cupboard with bleach etc in but thats it.

had sunhats for ds as a newborn, but this year he just won't keep one on his head!! only really put suncream on when its scorching too ie/ at least 25 degrees plus which hasn't happened yet.

i used to turn the baby off at night cos i couldn't get to sleep!! and guess what ds slept in his room right from the start.

never had a baby bath. always put him in a big bath with an inflatable pillow to support his head before he could sit up.

really not too bothered about ds going out a bit dirty either ..

hmmm so what have i been PFB about ...

got some of those weaning spoons that change colour. stopped using them once ds decided they were far too small. have burnt him a few times

oh had one of those bath thermometer thingys. realised they just tell you to give lo a cold bath. hes come out lobster red on a few occasions since

Oh god ... I cringe at the memory of my PFB syndrome ...
I was in the firm grip of a certain book ...
My SIL agreed to look after DS for one day a week when I went back to work (he was 4 months old). I turned up at her house with a typed out 8 page document detailing his routing , including nappy changing times .
Bless her, to this day she has never taken the piss, although she has every right to. I was a shocker.
I remember coming to pick him up one afternoon. It was 3.30pm. He was ASLEEP! It wasn't his time to sleep. He should have been awake since 2.30 . And what's more ... he was asleep ... outside in the pram not inside in the dark ...
I nearly had heart failure and cried all the way home.
Barking.