"How to talk so kdis will listenand listen so kids will talk" - anyone want to go trhough this book?

[Porcupine]

and see hwat we think of it?

Its wuite heavy reading( not intellectually) just very close set type and lots of americna egs
But i reckon we cna do it.

not " i guess you are geetting fresh " then>

PMSL no ... can't say I use that one often

haha love the turtle! must buy this book

I tried this and liked the writing messages bit. That was nice. But whenever I said 'Hmm you must be feeling -' or 'that really sounds bad honey' it seemed to come out in a fake american accent, and my children would stop talking, put their heads to one side and say, 'STOP TALKING LIKE THAT?'

Though perhaps should get it off bookshelf again and reread as ds1 said to me the other day, 'I'm not going to talk about what happened at school today, because you'll just make it YOUR problem' which was was both insightful and sobering I thought.

ooh your kdis osund funy 100
i odnt hink you need ot make it your problem
jsut aha and ahum

But will I say 'aha' and 'ahum' in an american accent? Do you think I'll get away with it? Though clearly need to re-read book so he's prepared to talk to me again, I did say that time 'how if you tell me if I PROMISE not to give any advice?' and that made him laugh.

what a nice boy

Yes. He says he wants to be Tracy Beaker.

Are we doing this today, Cod? I've been lurking, fascinated. Though did try it out with limited success on DS1 today:

[in car] DS1: Mam, I've just dropped my book down the side of the seat and I can't reach it!
R: Oh, that must be very frustrating for you.
DS1: GET IT FOR ME
R: Wouldn't it be great if it would just magically jump back up again?
[long silence]
DS1: Mam, you are TEASING ME

uoi missed out the ah hum phase

OK, so what do I say to DS. Came in from school.
"Have a nice day, mate?"
"grunt. Nothing exciting ever happens. I hate the weekends."
"Is it cos it's just me and dad that it's boring? Shall I arrange for you to do summat with your mates instead?"
"Grunt".

Has now gone out on green to play footie.

Next time he says the above, what am I supposed to say?

id not say anything ot him!
sseriously there is a bti on questioning

hold on will find

Can you hurry up please C od, he'll be home in a minute and I don't want to commit myself to taxiing him around all w.end

1. sdont ask if they had fun

apprently this places them under an obligation to sya yes to shut you up

or what abotu try the fantasy thing oyurself?
ie if i had a whoel weekend to myself i woudl....

so what is OK,

'did you have a day which was tolerable and generaly met your basic needs and expectations?' ?

imo the boring thing is crap

if he says he is bored do the uh hu a hum thing

then " gievt he feeling a name" - ie it must be dull being bored( so you dont deny it)

then the fantasy thign

how abptu not askign anything
just saying hi

I have read this book about 3 times.... excellent ideas... except that I kept having to dash into the loo to take a sneaky peek at the book to see what I ought to be saying next, mid conversation.......

ye sin lots of wasy it coudl be a lto shorter

__chapter THREE--------------

alternatives to punishment

1. point out a way to be helpful

2.express strogn disaproval wihtout attacking character

3.State your expectations

4.show child how to make ammends

1. giev a choice

1. Take action

1. allow kid to feel consequencs of behaviour

ok kid annoying in supermarket pissing about

1. how to be helpful - can you get me three lemons algernon?

1. Disapproval - i dont like this behaviour you are annoying the other shoppers

1. giev a choice - no running either WALK or sit int eh trolley

4.take action - kid plops into trolley

1. consequences of behaviour - rmeind kid next time that they cant come wiht youto supermaket( htink tbh my kdis would be delighted) adn that htey can come next time

and we all had lashings of ginger ale ...

MB &Cod