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Original poster

The whole family in the same month!

58 replies

Octoberfest18 · 09/02/2018 08:46

I'm new to mumsnet, just found out I'm pregnant, and super excited about it! (both mumsnet and being pregnant :P). We'd been TTC for a few months without any luck, and last month decided to not really try - partly just to have a break and not stress about it, and party if it did happen then we would have an October baby. But of course we did do the deed and clearly relaxing made a difference because it's happened!! But... here is why I wasn't keen on having an October baby.

If all goes to plan,
Baby DD 17 October
My birthday 13 October
DH's birthday 28 October.
and add to the mix - my brother's birthday 7 October.

So baby will be right in the middle. I know I shouldn't be bothered with having baby's birthday so close to ours, but it feels like all 3 of us in the same month is a bit much!!

Does anyone have experience of parents sharing birth months with their children. Does it make any difference really? I know it's all different once we're adults and kiddies will come first... but still.

Finally... and changing the subject ... what's it like having a Autumn baby? How much harder are the night shifts when the days are short and the nights stretch into oblivion??

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Elisheva · 09/02/2018 08:48

My sister in law had her baby on 19th December, her twins are on the 14th! It’s an expensive month for us - no idea how they manage!

Original poster
Octoberfest18 · 09/02/2018 09:10

Thanks @elisheva. I definitely think birthdays piled together in December is worse than October so pleased that's not the case!

OP posts:
Teenytinyvoice · 09/02/2018 09:14

My friends bday is 2 days after Christmas, and both her children have their birthday 2 days after that (a few years apart but the same date!).
Another friend shares her actual birthday with her son.
My DD, my birthday and my wedding anniversary all fall in quick succession.

I think it’s very common and you are maybe overthinking it!

Ps autumn babies rock!

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Pibplob · 09/02/2018 09:17

If you've just found out you're pregnant how do you know it's a DD?

I think it'll be fine. Like, you say at least it's not a Dec birthday! Oct will be a nice time to have a baby.

Original poster
Octoberfest18 · 09/02/2018 09:28

Thanks @TeenyTinyVoice, I probably am over thinking it. My husband thinks I'm mad for worrying about this. But it does kind of bother me that we'll all be crammed together, I always felt overshadowed by my brother's birthday as he was quite a dominant character. But I guess, it'll all depend on how we manage it and as long as we make sure baby number two is not October we'll be ok! Also, ultimately it'll be my parents to feel it the most as they will have everyone except one daughter in law all celebrating in October!

and @Pibplob - I'm clearly still learning the mumsnet lingo -- when i said DD I meant Due Date. I've just realised it also means Dear Daughter! Doh!

OP posts:
Namechangeuser · 09/02/2018 09:35

I don't see in what way this would be a problem? What are you perceiving the issues to be?

Me, dh and DD all have our birthdays in the same month, iv never even thought about it being anymore than a coincidence?

Teenytinyvoice · 09/02/2018 09:47

It’s not unusual for a newly pg mum to be to fixate in really odd stuff, but I’m with your husband on this!

Also don’t get too fixated on when 2nd baby might show up, there are a million variables there and when the time comes you might be super thrilled for a healthy 2nd baby in October!

amelie427 · 09/02/2018 09:53

How lovely - When they're at school, you could take October half term off and do a joint family birthday celebration trip every year.

user1493413286 · 09/02/2018 09:58

Me and both my daughters as well as another close family member all have birthdays in the same month (the same week actually). I think the main thing is to make each birthday special still; particularly the children so if they want a joint party great but don’t assume that they do.
I also want a bit of fuss on my own birthday although not as much as the kids obviously.
Also it requires a bit of planning with when you get paid so it doesn’t all hit on one pay check but that’s easily sorted

Original poster
Octoberfest18 · 09/02/2018 10:14

Thanks all!! It really helps to have other people telling me I'm being daft! I know I'm totally worrying about nothing. And any way, it's not like we are going to do anything about it, we want this baby!!

Also it's good to know that there are plenty of other families out there with the same sort of coincidence and it works out just fine!

OP posts:
londonloves · 09/02/2018 10:26

My due date was 2 days before my partner's birthday, Baby actually arrived the day after - I don't really see an issue with it, if anything his dad's birthday is always going to be overshadowed by his but I kind of think birthdays are more important for children.

Re autumn babies - in the early days it didn't really matter, as it's dark in the middle of the night anyway, and in the first few weeks I didn't go out much except to appointments and bf clinics: it's actually more annoying now at four months because I want to get out more but the weather is shit. But it will be spring soon , and by the time summer comes he will be crawling and we can hang out all day on a big blanket in the garden and have picnics 😍

Ilovecamping · 09/02/2018 10:30

DD2 was 10 days old when had 6th birthday party at home for DD1, it went brilliantly as all the mums stayed and looked after the baby whilst I got on with the party.

help1978 · 09/02/2018 10:34

Me , my baby, husband, niece, nephew and inlaws all have birthdays in the same month!

help1978 · 09/02/2018 10:36

And re autumn babies the days /nights are just a total slog anyway so you don't really notice or care what day it is or what time it is! X

carringtonm · 09/02/2018 10:40

I know someone whose own birthday, plus her DH and both their DC are all within 15 days (with no payday in the middle). She says it's nice to just get that month over with and not have to think about birthdays again for another 50 weeks. Plus they do a big family birthday day out in one go rather than a few expensive days out throughout the year.

Maatsuyker · 09/02/2018 10:44

My brother, SIL, me, niece and my father in less than two weeks with 3 of us on consecutive days. It's really easy because we just plan one day in a weekend where we all go out to dinner and exchange gifts. It's always a lovely time and as an added bonus we can do whatever we want on our real birthday. We don't have to accomodate family but can go out with friends or whatever we fancy. My niece is still a child so her parents give her gifts on her real birthday. She doesn't mind at all (hey, she gets gifts on two occasions! What's not to love?). If I ever get pregnant I would love to have my childrens birthday fall in that two week window.

Buglife · 09/02/2018 10:50

Congratulations, and, it really won’t matter! To be fair in the first few years yours and your DH birthdays may just not be a big deal but that’s hardly a worry, plenty of time in the rest of your life to make a big fuss if you want. I got married on my 30th birthday so the anniversary has been combined with my birthday for a while, DH has a birthday two weeks before so we often just did a joint night/celebration rather than making a big fuss of our individual days. This year id also on Mother’s Day weekend and we are taking DS to London so I’ll likely spend it in the Natural History museum 😂 it doesn’t bother me and your child will only care about their own birthday so it won’t bother them about Mum and Dads birthdays at all!

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 09/02/2018 10:51

A school friend of mine gave birth to her dc1 on her 21st birthday, 3 of her 4 sisters (dm sisters so the dc Aunties) have their birthdays in that month too, they all love it.

My eldest dc shares a birth month with her grandad & cousin (they're within a 6 day period). No issues at all. Dc5 shares a birthday with his granny, useful for me as I can never remember when it is & my Mum was really chuffed about it Grin

FourForYouGlenCoco · 09/02/2018 21:15

Honestly OP, it seems like a big deal now but I swear it isn’t. My DS’s birthday is the same day as my dad’s, DD’s birthday is a day after DH’s uncle. I’m currently pregnant and due 6 days after my birthday. DS was a week early so I could well end up sharing my birthday - which incidentally is 2 weeks after DH’s and 2 days after MIL’s! We don’t even have a particularly big family. There’ll always be someone near the time. It’ll be nice - as someone said, you can use the October half term as a celebration time! We quite often go away for a long weekend in the Easter hols as a joint me/DH bday present, it’s lovely. Congratulations and welcome to MN Smile

bruffin · 09/02/2018 21:21

Dh and dsis 23/8
Me 11/9
Ds 13/9
Dd 18/9
Its like christmas again
When they were little i tended to spend my birthday preparing for a party for dc. But now they are grown up its not so bad

peanutbutter310 · 09/02/2018 21:23

DD, DH and I all share a birth month. I actually worry that if we have another in a different month they might feel left out.

Londresdemain · 09/02/2018 21:26

Hi- we are a family of 5 - 4 of us in the same month! We love it. A month of parties, lunches, cake....my poor husband though he is 4 months later. Kids worry he is left out!

ranoutofquinoa · 09/02/2018 21:27

Gosh my family mum 7 March me 12 March and my brother 16 March then DHs family FIL and SIL 4 Dec, DH 12 Dec and BIL 14 Dec! My DD was due 25 Dec but held on till 11 Jan!

IggyAce · 09/02/2018 21:35

My due date was 16th October however DD arrived 3weeks early, so you may not all be in the same month.
I feel really sorry for one friend her 3 eldest have their birthdays Christmas week (19th, 22nd and 25th)

cupcake007 · 09/02/2018 21:36

Our family have 8 birthdays between 1st December and mid Jan. All 3 of my dc's, my brother and his 2 dc's, my auntie and me. Expensive time.