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Parenting

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Original poster

School run hell with 4 and 2 year old

97 replies

Cloud9889 · 19/01/2018 09:55

I'm really struggling with th school run. My DS1 is in reception and it's not usually him that is the problem it is DS2 who is 2. He kicks and screams blue murder if he is put in the pray (even with chocolate !!) so he usually goes on his micro scooter. The thing is he takes so long, often just stops and won't move for no reason and screams when you try to move him so I'm often left taking about 30 mins to do the school run which is 1/3rd of a mile and feeling embarrassed when I see other parents just strolling by with their kids not making a fuss. My friend has an almost 3 year old (My DS2 is 2 next month) and he just sits in the pram and doesn't make a fuss - she seems fairly smug. Grrrr - I am a good mum but I find myself really stressed out by the end of the school run (getting DS2 home from school can be hard too as he wants t hang around (e.g. Trash the classrooom). Both my boys have Been such hard work despite my reading, going to classes and groups and generally trying my best. I just don't know why it has to be so hard :( I work two days a week and that is probably the only thing keeping m slightly sane as I get 2 days in a nice office away from screaming kids . Does anyone have any tips for the school run? It's just all getting a bit too much and this morning I proper lost it and yelled at DS2 as he just would not stop crying and winging and don't feel good about myself for that.

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Original poster

Cloud9889 · 19/01/2018 09:55

I meant to say pram above not pray!

OP posts:

Original poster

Cloud9889 · 19/01/2018 09:56

Oh and I mean 30 mins one way not in total

OP posts:

IvorBiggun · 19/01/2018 10:03

The school run can just be shit and there’s no parenting book or class that will stop a 2yo being a 2yo.

You have some options though:

Leave earlier - if it’s going to take longer that’s practical solution.

Pull the microscooter along with child on it. You can loop a dog lead or yoga belt on to make a lead and avoid paying £££ for a microscooter one.

Bribery. Worth a shot - my dd never responded to it though. What does he like?

Use an electronic device. I used to let dd watch Peppa Pig on my iPhone.

I was never going to win any parenting awards but I got them both to school on time without injury or trauma and that’s what mattered.

Children are hard work though they do tend to grow out of it. Personally I found the toddler years bloody horrible and was glad to be able to go to work!

Interested in this thread?

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2 year olds 3 year olds Families General education

CheeseyToast · 19/01/2018 10:10

All the other parents' kids definitely do not behave nicely, it just seems like that to you right now.

starlight36 · 19/01/2018 10:12

It does get better. I tried the leaving earlier with a bit of bribery approach worked best when I was in that situation. On our school run there are plenty of others dealing with the same issues. It used to drive me mad but my boisterous two year old has grown into a confident happy 4 year old.

AllButterShortbread · 19/01/2018 10:15

I would just strap him in the pushchair and let him protest. Take the scooter as well and let him scoot on the way back home when time isn’t an issue and he can faff about all he likes.

Don’t be fooled by seemingly perfect parents getting the school run “right”. They’ll be cocking it all up somewhere else

Maryann1975 · 19/01/2018 10:17

My take on this would be If your two year old won’t keep going on the scooter, he can’t go on the scooter. I would try and compromise by putting them in the pram on the way there and put the scooter in the basket (for speed) and be prepared to put up with the screaming And then when it wasn’t such a rush, let them scoot home.

If it’s making your eldest late for school, that’s not fair, so he has to go quick or go in the pram.

Everyone always tells me that I look like I’ve got it all under control and seem very organised - I think I’m a good actor and can put on a good show!

Kbear · 19/01/2018 10:19

I think faffing not an option on the way to school, way home different story. So yes, strap in him buggy and just go, let him yell, it's only temper . maybe see if he wants a piece of toast to eat on the way or something? might distract him. Two year olds want to be in charge but sometimes, just sometimes lol, you have to be. No one is looking at you, and if they are they are just thinking "yes, aren't two year olds a pain in the arse".

N2986 · 19/01/2018 10:20

Ha my two year old only behaves in the pram cos we had weeks of me forcing him in and ignoring the screams! He's alright now tho really (crosses fingers). I'd just strap him in and try and tune it out (brutal I know)

gruber · 19/01/2018 10:20

Would you consider a carrier or even a backpack style one for your 2 year old? When I had to do school run with 5, 3 and 1 year old, the 1 year old went on my back in a Manduca carrier (or tula, connecta or a wrap) and then I had hands free for 3 year old and 5 year old walked fine. They are securely out of way and you can walk - plus they don’t trash classroom! Maybe you could persuade him to have “rides”?

Soubriquet · 19/01/2018 10:22

My almost 3 year old has to be forced into the pushchair in the morning for the school run.

He walks too slowly and trips over a lot.

He protests every morning but I ignore him, fold him up and force him in. Sometimes he's even kicking and screaming.

He finally calms down about 10 mins into the walk.

Sometimes they have to do what you say even if they don't like it

MrsAndyDayTheFirst · 19/01/2018 10:23

I had an old lady come up to me last year to tell me how lovely it is watching my ds scootto school past her window everyday. She said we always seemed like such a happy family and she looked forward to him scooting last every morning. I’m not sure if she was on crack or just trying to let me know that we all have bad days and it’s ok. At that time it was was normally ds1 scooting ahead and me screaming at him to slow down with 2yo ds2 slung under my am screaming blue murder. Or me begging him to just go a bit faster as it’s taken 20 minutes to get 20 metres while he examines every single leaf and stick. Again with ds2 slung under my arm screaming blue murder.

Isadora2007 · 19/01/2018 10:23

He isn’t even two yet. The scooter should only ever be an option for fun times maybe scooting about in the playground once you get there (on time!) after walking with the buggy.

I’m afraid you have to toughen up and have the attitude of this is what's happening- happy or sad. If you try to ensure he will only be happy about it- chocolate, scooters etc it only ends in tears and whining anyway- so miss out the middle man and mean business.

What happens on the two days you work with the school run?

Isadora2007 · 19/01/2018 10:24

At just under two I also used a toddler carrier and did piggybacks. Comfy ones as it was a proper ergonomic Carrier.

BubblesBuddy · 19/01/2018 10:24

Forget the scooter on the way there. Put him in the pushchair (not a pram) and let him howl. He just has to learn what he has to do. You keep letting him dictate to you. Where will it end?

Obviously keeping calm is best but your other child must be fed up with this too. I don’t blame you for shouting at him. I sometimes felt that actually meant something to a young child and you could build an understanding after that. It’s the lowest point and the future will be better if you take control and do what you need to do. If he behaves well, he gets to use the scooter to go home. Or ditch the scooter - he’s too young to do it quickly anyway. Also don’t bribe with chocolate!

IHaveACuntingPlan · 19/01/2018 10:26

The parents whose kids carry on a nd protest are either running really early, in order to avoid being late, or are going in the car or taxi or something.
I hated the school run when ds was in foundation and dd was 3. What should only have taken 10 minutes used to take half an hour and I remember dd screaming blue murder one day because we were later than usual so I was having to half carry, half drag her and she didn't want to walk. I got to school and burst into tears in front of the staff!
It did get easier though as she got better at walking and as I accepted it'd take us much longer than everyone else so would leave a lot more time than I did before. It made us rush less so she didn't feel forced as much and gave us time to stop along the way to pick flowers/point out birds/feed the ducks/look for stones etc etc.

DontCallMeJohnBoy · 19/01/2018 10:29

I wouldn't bribe to go inthe pram, I'd bribe to encourage him to get to the end of the school run. Can you offset the kids against each other, a bit like when they have a race to get dressed? Which of you gets to that lampost first? Which gets to the school gate first?

Also, can you add a buggy board to the pram, load school bags in the pram and let the 2 year old ride on the board instead? He can hope on and off to walk some of the day then hope back on "to catch up with [older DC]". Ensure you have something nice to take the 2 year old on to after the school drop-off so he has an incentive to get his older sibling gone! Trip to a toddler group, beans of toast in a cafe etc.

LemonBreeland · 19/01/2018 10:30

If I was you I would absolutely strap him into the pushchair and let him scream. If he knows he won't get out he should give up eventually.

Oblomov18 · 19/01/2018 10:32

I wouldn't do it. I'd sit him down and tell him he has to go in pushchair. Apart from a special treat....say every other Friday.
And I'd leave earlier. But hey then, I don't do stress!

DextroDependant · 19/01/2018 10:33

I agree, sometimes they have to do as the are told regardless if they want to.

Put him in the pram and let him scream.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 19/01/2018 10:36

I have a almost 2yr old buggy refuser. The rules are he has to sit in the buggy nicely on the way to school (if he's good he gets a snack when we get there) then he's allowed to walk home again.

headintheproverbial · 19/01/2018 10:38

Personally I would just strap the 2 year old into the buggy and to hell with it. At least you'll get it over with. It's going to be crap however you do it, so make it the shortest it can be!!!

thethoughtfox · 19/01/2018 10:54

We alway leave super early and then not get stressed about how long it takes. Although today I had an uncooperative screaming child who just refused to walk up the hill to the shops (food deliveries haven't been able to make it through all the snow for the last 5 days)

restbiterepeat · 19/01/2018 10:59

Cargo bike? Put them both on the bike, strap the 2 yo in. 30 mins walk with toddler becomes 10 mins on a bike.

BertieBotts · 19/01/2018 10:59

Is he hungry? Maybe give him a snack to busy him with on the way. Get croissants or something in multipacks from the supermarket. The 4yo could have one too if he likes. Or yes keep snack as bribery for way home! Genius :)

How do your mornings go at the weekends? Is the 2yo an early riser or more slow in the mornings? Maybe he feels rushed and would be happier in PJs snuggled in a cosytoes. If he's more awake he might be bored and need more entertainment - could you do songs or i-spy games or spotting, counting, etc? Maybe one of those pretend steering wheel bars so he can "drive" along in the buggy?

Or, yep, just leave earlier and allow more time. He will get faster over time.

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