School run hell with 4 and 2 year old

[Cloud9889]

I'm really struggling with th school run. My DS1 is in reception and it's not usually him that is the problem it is DS2 who is 2. He kicks and screams blue murder if he is put in the pray (even with chocolate !!) so he usually goes on his micro scooter. The thing is he takes so long, often just stops and won't move for no reason and screams when you try to move him so I'm often left taking about 30 mins to do the school run which is 1/3rd of a mile and feeling embarrassed when I see other parents just strolling by with their kids not making a fuss. My friend has an almost 3 year old (My DS2 is 2 next month) and he just sits in the pram and doesn't make a fuss - she seems fairly smug. Grrrr - I am a good mum but I find myself really stressed out by the end of the school run (getting DS2 home from school can be hard too as he wants t hang around (e.g. Trash the classrooom). Both my boys have Been such hard work despite my reading, going to classes and groups and generally trying my best. I just don't know why it has to be so hard :( I work two days a week and that is probably the only thing keeping m slightly sane as I get 2 days in a nice office away from screaming kids . Does anyone have any tips for the school run? It's just all getting a bit too much and this morning I proper lost it and yelled at DS2 as he just would not stop crying and winging and don't feel good about myself for that.

You know when people say "pick your battles"?
Pick this one. Strap the 2yo in the buggy and make life easier for yourself. Don't give him chocolate.

P.s I can assure you a 2 year old Syrian fleeing for their lives would not in any way behave as a 'normal' 2 year old would! Ask anyone who survived the blitz!

I'm sure we do actually know how to parent our toddler's rather than indulging precious snowflakes 😂 I thought that Mumsnet was about being supportive and sharing experiences- not just telling people how shit their parenting is and that we'll ruin them for life.
Obviously some days are easier than others, I want her to walk- physical exercise is good for them you know. Some days our battles are about putting tights on, Some days it's the school run. Toddler's can be awkward little buggers and you pick your battles.

Also did you literally just bring up Syrian refugees in a conversation about the school run??

Have you met any Syrian refugee toddlers? I have and they are perfectly normal children with parents who get just as exasperated as English ones!

I'm sure a toddler fleeing literal present danger is going to act differently but unless OP plans to hire a stage crew of pyrotechnics and a couple of hitmen to chase them all to school I doubt she can recreate this situation (I wouldn't advise it as a parenting technique!)

Bertie very funny! But you are all missing the point. Millions of people over the years have done the school run. Its no big deal.

OP, other parents will be having a horrible time, too. You won't see it as you can only see where you think you're going wrong, but everyone feels the same. I used to take mine to playgroup, just because it made me feel better to find that everyone else was having a horrible day too.

If I were you, I would simply strap DS2 in for the school run. No bribery, no discussion, no nothing. He can scream blue murder, but you need to get to school on time. Ignore the screaming, and engage with him when he stops, which he will. While he is screaming, talk to DS1, who is walking sensibly (attention should be given to the one who's not playing up - if you shout at DS2 when he's whingeing, however tempting, he will only do it more because even negative attention is nectar to a toddler). Once he realises it's not negotiable, he will stop altogether (might take a few days, but if you are consistent, it will happen). Take the scooter so he can scoot back at toddler pace. Praise him if he's sensible-ish on the way back, and possibly give him a treat at the end. Good luck.

Millions of people over the years have done the school run. Its no big deal
Well yes, but millions of people have also given birth, breast or bottle fed their babies, potty trained their toddlers, and done most of the other things people post on here for advice about. Mumsnet would be a very quiet place if we weren't allowed to ask for advice about anything, just because millions of people have done it before.

Presumably op has asked for advice in the hope that some of those millions of people will be able to give her some helpful tips, rather than just making unhelpful comments about their superior parenting abilities.

Well said Athena

Thank you, Sostenueto. Struggling with several teenagers now, so I will no doubt be able to advise people on how to deal with them in 10 years' time, once I have made every mistake in the book!

Brawn nowhere have I mentioned having superior parenting skills. Just because I have a different view does not make me superior or infer I'm superior. I just think that asking advice for trivial things that can easily be sorted a bit......... Now if you were having difficulty getting transport or access to get a child with special needs to school then this is the place to get advice. I Like mumsnet for advice and support on several things but not trivial things. Sorry you all don't agree.

That's the way to learn Athena! My teens now have children. My dgc behave impeccably for me and I derive great pleasure from them all, they play their mums up whereas I can just hand them back!

My dds are 37 and 38 lol! I meant to say not that they are teen mums!

I feel your pain. I have a buggy refuser. I have to drive to school so I take no prisoners in a morning, he’s strapped in the car seat and I ignore any howling. If I can avoid it, I drop and go leaving him in the car. If I have to park away from the school, he’s carried or strapped in the buggy. Same for pick up where I park and walk.

Yes but everyone struggles with different things. Our school run is fine but I have a daily battle to get dd dressed. I doubt there are any parents who find the whole thing easy.

How can a 2 year old refuse to do something ?!? The child is 2, he/she does as they’re told, if they protest so be it let them get on with it, they’ll soon get bored or fall asleep tired

I am a school run struggler some days too, depending on what mood my just turned 4 ds is in. I have the baby in the pram too and my reception child walking, who also likes to moan about having to walk!
I have learned to just crack on with it, ignore the screams and protests and basically drag them if non cooperative. They know the script now. School run is a job that just needs doing.
Your 2 year old is safer in the pram though if he choses to mess around like you describe so I would honestly strap him in no matter how much he fights and ignore the noise, you'll get some looks from people (I'm quite used to it but honestly don't care) but you are only human, doing your best! Your child will learn that it's easier to behave. Eventually.

Lay all clothes out ready the night before BRAWNE including yours next to toddlers. In the morning say to toddler ' let's see how fast we can get dressed." Get alarm clock and set it for a couple of minutes. Then say ' I'll help you dress then you help me dress so we can beat the clock" make it a game it might work!

2yr old in pram on the way to school. No option. T^ake that stress out of your life OP. Get to school on time.
^
Scoot on the way back. He probably won't like it but he will get used to the routine of it. And he can diddle around on the way back when you don't have a deadline.
^
Most parents struggle some of the time.^Be firm. Decide what you are going to do and stick to it. Good Luck.

This is the problem. You’re letting a two year dictate to you, the adult, that he “won’t” go in a pram because you’re afraid of a little temper/screaming until he gets his own way.

There lies the issue.

I take 3 children 8,4 and 2. I find the youngest is in the buggy and the older two hold their hand works or let them all walk but use racing to get them moving. We race from one spot to the next. All the while shouting "I'm going to win" little children love to run and win. I look a right plonker but it gets the job done.