SAHPs who send toddler to nursery when new baby comes along, is this a thing?

[HapsburgUrchin]

We've moved to quite a Naice area recently, and I've been surprised to find several families - where the mum is at home - who send their 1 or 2 year olds off to full time nursery, so the mums are effectively one to one with the new baby all day. Has anyone else heard of people who do this?

These people have a fair bit of money to splash around, so I realise most people couldn't afford to do this on a single income, but I'm not sure I'd want to even if I could?

I know looking after a toddler and baby is difficult, but despite the challenges, surely you want them to actually spend time together, and grow up together?

Initially I just thought it was a one off find, until I found several other families doing it, so I became intrigued... Is this more normal in circles where people are well off?

I think it's often just a case of a new baby arrives at the age where you'd be thinking of a pre-schooler starting nursery anyway.

I’m considering sending dd 1 day a week when on maternity (she does 3 days currently) more to save her space and keep her used to long nursery days though the extra 1on1 time with baby will be nice. I wouldn’t consider sending her more than she goes now though.

When you're massively sleep deprived with a new baby it can be useful to sleep when the baby sleeps rather than having to be bounding around with a toddler. There was a time when I was managing on 4 hours broken sleep when DS was a baby. I was so grateful for DD's mornings at playgroup.

Also, you can lose nursery spaces if you pull children out do if you're paying anyway to keep the space you might as well use it, otherwise there might not god a nursery with 2 spaces available at the end of maternity leave.

My DD does 30 hours and when I start maternity leave she will continue going. A baby will change her routine enough without taking her out of nursery as well.

The funding continues so I won’t need to pay anything to keep her in. If she didn’t already go I wouldn’t put her in just because another baby is coming though.

I'll be continuing to send DD1 (nearly 3) to nursery for the 2.5 days she goes currently when my DC2 is born and I'm on mat leave. Why wouldn't I? It's her routine, she benefits from it, it'll mean I can have 1 on 1 time with the baby like I did with DD1 when she was a baby. It's a bit daft to suggest they'll never spend time together.

I did with mine, although I did reduce hours. We had no family around to help at all and it was a lifeline.

Don't know anyone who would do that. Some people might with older toddler or maybe would do it a day or two a week (but this would be expensive). I wouldn't have wanted to do that myself - but they are probably not stressed or frazzled and probably look chic and 'together'. They probably get a cleaner too....

I kept mine in nursery to retain the place but also so that they continued with their routine, plus newborns are deadly dull for a toddler.

Mine carried on with the childminder when I was on maternity leave, we would have lost the place otherwise, and it was a useful break for me.

Btw we're not particularly rich, I don't have a cleaner and I look constantly frazzled! I'm not sure I like the judgemental tone of this thread. You do what works best for your family surely.

I’m not sure I know anyone that didn’t do this. We’re obviously all a bunch of lazy cows ready to ship their kids out as soon as possible. Or, you know, just let our kids use their free hours entitlement like most people do.

My DS1 was 4 and at nursery 3 days a week when DS2 was born. He continued going to nursery as that was his routine and he would have felt like he was missing out if he'd been stopped from going and seeing his friends.

Even if the older sibling was at nursery full time for 5 days a week, they will still see plenty of the new baby. And if the older sibling is school age then you don't have a choice about it then.

I don't think it's got much to do with "well off" parents not wanting to spend time with their children, but a more practical solution to a scenario where siblings will be going to nursery/preschool anyway.

How ridulcous.
There be at school once they actually remember spending time together as adults so there be apart 6 hours a day anyway

I’m with @stylishduck

Why would you take them out of nursery anyway?

My DD loves nursery. Spending 30 hours a week there and all of the rest at home doesn’t mean she’s missing out on ‘bonding’ she’d throw a fit if I told her she couldn’t go anymore so she could stay home with me and a baby!

My toddler would be bored stiff entertaining herself while I'm pinned to the couch with a cluster feeding newborn. I'd much rather she was at nursery with her friends, where she actually enjoys herself. There's plenty of time for them to spend time together when she's not in nursery.

DD has been at pre school 3 mornings a week since Sept. No2 due in March. Why would I pull her from pre school because I'll be home FT for a year?

I haven't heard of this, but it's quite usual for children to start at preschool at the age of 2 - 2.5 years. My older DD started before my second was born, although she just did three mornings in term time. They get a lot out of that sort of environment at that age and it helps them get ready for a school environment. I don't know anyone whose older child went to nursery full time, but I do know some people who sent their older child to nursery for two full days if there wasn't a nice preschool nearby for the reasons I've outlined above.

Hang on, most of you who do this have gone back to work between kids. So it does make sense, as the older one was already in childcare before the new baby was born.

What I'm taking about is parents who have never gone back to work after their first child.

Mine continued with their regular routine when subsequent babies arrived. In any case if childcare they are in is oversubscribed you lose your place if you completely remove the child. I always returned to work so needed to keep their place.

If it's something that will work for you, and you can afford it, then do it. If it's not, or you can't, then don't.

Was a real sanity saver for us; and helped my DD get prepared for pre school. She found friends with children who she is now at primary school with.

Nursery can be an excellent way for children to learn, play and interact with other children. Meanwhile Mum can focus on the baby and try and get some much needed rest/sleep/housework done. I see nothing wrong with this but I'm going out on a limb and guessing you don't have two children yet.

Ok. If I was a SAHP all the time I would still use the funded hours DD was entitled to when she turns 3 to send her to nursery. It's not somewhere to dump your kids because you can't be arsed looking after them. It's good for them to socialise and to spend time outside the home.

I didn’t go back to work. But dc1 was entitled to 3 hours a day at preschool when dc2 was born. So I sent him. I’ll send dc2 when he’s old enough too .

As PP have said, many parents plan to send their children to nursery/preschool at some point irrespective of whether both parents are returning to work. So if it coincides with the arrival of a new baby then it's also useful from the point of view of looking after the baby.

Even if the older child is in full time nursery, they will still see plenty of the new baby and their parents! You seem to be equating it to packing them off to full time boarding school.

The SAHP I know used preschool / childminder anyway from about 2.5yo because they needed a break and the kids loved it. Only 3 days a week 9-3 though not 50 hours a week in private nursery!