my neighbour leaves her kids on their own

[cheeryface]

they are 12, 8 and 5. i'm not sure for how long, might be an hour or so

i don't think it's o.k though

do you?

"but she would be investigated by Social services if they became aware - it's automatic to investigate any child under the age of 11 left without adult supervision "

I didn't know that. Do you have any links? I know it's not illegal to leave a child alone although you are still responsible for them in your absence but I've never heard of an automatic investigation by SS.

I read an article about it a few weeks ago - think it might've been in the Telegraph. The woman who wrote it had just popped out for 5 mins to post a letter and asked her 2 children if they wanted to walk to the post box or stay at home. Her ds aged 10 opted to stay at home alone. Unbeknown to her, dd had been dialling 999 for a laugh just before she went out. So the Police traced the call and rang back. You can imagine the rest - ds answered and Police asked to speak to an adult so ds replied he was on his own. Full scale SS investigation followed.

ridiculous waste of resources if the social services investigate an 11 year old left for 5 minutes

daft if true

That's the Nanny State for you! Of course I don't know if it's true, but the woman who wrote the article said that it happenened to her.

Though it was a 10 year old - 11 is the magic age when you can leave them alone. There is nothing in Law to say this - it's just the guildelines that Police, Schools etc follow when notifying Social Services.

my mom left me to go to the shops from 7/8 and by 12 i was babysitting for my cousins

Yes, me too. From about age 10 my parents would go to a local party with their friends and leave me and their daughter (also 10) in charge of our little brothers aged 8,7 & 4.

They used to leave the phone no. for where they were going so that we could call if we were worried. We never did, though - we thought it was a great treat to be left alone.

my neighbour told me that when she lived in her old house she would put her twins to bed then walk to McDonalds (about 300 yds walk) and get some dinner then come back, leaving twins alone in bed in the house.

Twins at the time were 2.5 yrs!

That's just made me think of a funny thing...

A friend of mine went to her next door neighbour's party leaving her 3 children tucked up in bed in her room at home. She took the baby monitor to the party so that she could hear if they woke up.

She & her husband got back from the party, put the children in their own beds and got down to a 'romantic' session of drunken, noisy sex.

Imagine their embarrassment the next morning when they realised that the baby monitor was still switched on in their neighbour's lounge!

OH god forty, is that really true, I would have had to have moved

She swore blind that it was true - she used to cut my hair and I nearly fell off the chair laughing when she told me!

In fact I'm smirking so much now at the thought of it that I think I'll have to cut & paste it as a separate thread!

i dont know how id feel as my dcs arent that old yet, but the other day i left dd in the living room (2.6) and ds (5month) fast asleep in bed, to take the rubbish out, max 2 min job, in the time i was gone dd locked the door behind me! i nearly had a heart attack.....thank god my downstairs neighbor has a spare key for us!!!!

I think it's absolutely fine. Given that the day I turned 14 I was babysitting the 3 children across the road (age 5, 3 and 6 months) and three children of my mum's friend (aged 6 and twin boys aged 1), I would be worried if I had that level of responsibility having never had small amounts at home, looking after my brother.

forty, sorry I wasn't online for a while, but will check to see if you started a new thread, you really should you know still pmsl

overrun - I started one but only had one reply and no one else would put their own embarrassing stories! I'll bump it to see what happens.

Maybe the OP should investigate further rather than assuming the children are not ok to be left? Hey, maybe she could even offer to watch the children while the neighbour goes out if she's that concerned?

I wouldn't volunteer to look after 3 lively children on a regular basis!

I can't belive all you MNers think this is fine, none of you ever seems to shout at your kids, don't let them drink fruit shoots, can imagine ever wanting to smack your children, but it's OK to leave them home alone?

If someone had concerns for my children's welfare I would rather they talked to me about it and offer support than report it to Social Services. I speak from experience which is why I get a bit narked with people assuming things rather than finding out the real story.

Btw I'm not assuming OP is reporting them.

it epends on the maturity of the eldest, If they are quite responsible for their age then I dont see what the problem is, natyrally it would be slightly more of a concern if the 12 year old was left in charge for hours on end and possibly having to look after a much younger child.

I think it is fine.
Age 12 is plenty old enough to look after younger children for an hour or so.
I was babysitting for several hours at this age.

I occasionally shout at my kids

I occasionally let them drink Fruit Shoots

My 2 are closer in age, but have been left for an hour occasionally since they were about 11 & 9.

It wasn't a regular thing - maybe something like a supermarket shop at Sainsbury's, which is only 5 mins away and they could call my mobile if they were worried. Maybe the other important point is that I would give them the choice of whether to stay at home or come with me - they weren't ever forced into staying home alone.

Even now, my 13 year old doesn't much like being in the house on his own, though is perfectly happy to be here with his brother. I would still never leave them alone at night.

Mmmm, I would never leave my children at these ages, but then wouldn't report a neighbour to social services either.

I can't belive all you MNers think this is fine, none of you ever seems to shout at your kids, don't let them drink fruit shoots, can imagine ever wanting to smack your children, but it's OK to leave them home alone?

Yes.

Jeez, in Scotland you can move out and live on your own at 16. I think a twelve year old can manage without mummy for an hour.