Referred to SS but not sure why!?

[averybadday]

I got a call from a social worker half an hour ago and he says they need to come and visit us tomorrow. My HV says it is because I don't attend the neonatal clinic enough, and because on home visits she has smelt alcohol in our house. The only reason for this would be us drinking the night before when our kids are in bed, which is frankly our only 'vice'. I haven't been out to a pub for two years now as my kids always come first.
Why are we being persecuted for having a bottle of wine (at most twice a week) in the evenings? And for not attending clinic when, frankly, I have better things to do than spend two hours in a waiting room and then have a useless chat with a HV when I know my babies are healthy and happy.
Both kids are very healthy on the weight/height scale and I spend all day everyday playing with them or taking them out, they are my life, so why am I being accused of not being able to cope?
I am just in tears now, my DH complains enough that I don't keep on top of the housework (though I'm up at 6 to iron his work clothes and make him breakfast everyday)and will really go crazy when I tell him about this.

I don't feel that I've done anything wrong. Can anyone advise/empathise?

how did you get on today AVBD?

You can never quite tell HV/SS attitudes to alcohol or a bit of dust. HV came to visit us at about 9am when DS was 8months and a college friend of DH's was staying and of course they had a few beers the night before.

She walked in and friend was asleep in a sleeping bag on the sofa, there were bottles and glasses around, the sink was full of dirty dishes and DS was still asleep in his cot in jim-jams, and I had gone off to work.

Next time I saw her I was prepared for a nagging but she thought the look of terror on DH's face was so funny that she felt that things must be okay and baby was happy and thriving

Thankyou to everyone who took the time to answer my worry.
The social worker who came was very lovely and explained thoroughly why he'd been alerted to us. As I said, my GP prescribed me AD's but I didn't feel I needed them so haven't been back for a follow up, so this was flagged up.
My HV has been concerned that I missed appointments, the main ones are on three occasions when she was due to visit me at home and after waiting over two hours I had to go out, this is apparantly classed as 'avoidance'. The good news is that he took a good look around our house (even in the fridge etc which I really didn't expect!), saw that the children were healthy and happy and told me he has no child protection concerns, it's basically just me being disorganised.
But he said that if I don't cooperate with gp in AD terms he will have to visit again, which I am really shocked about. I'm not depressed, just a fairly young mother of two who is going through the normal stresses of parenthood. He also made some very critical judgments regarding their fathers parenting, which I was p'd off about.
In all though it was okay so I am not so worried. We have nothing to hide so they can investigate or check up all they like.

Just read all the posts. I'm glad it wasn't too bad for you although am at you being told to "co-operate" with the GP. Perhaps you could ask to see another doctor, and ask for counselling instead of medication? I don't blame you for being annoyed at the social worker's comments about DH.
Perhaps you could also write to the HV to clear up the "avoidance" charge - it's unfair for the HV to expect you stay at home all day. Hope that's the end of it.

I don't think I want to live in this country anymore. It is becoming more like 1984 every day.

Visist the clinic, wait 10 minutes after your appointment, then ask the receptionist to log that you attended, and must now leave.

FWIW you are being treated OUTRAGEOUSLY

you don't have to take medication. it's ridiculous to threaten you with SS to make you take AD's. surely it's some sort of contravention of human rights???

Judgements about your dh's parenting?

On what grounds?

Hi - what a scary experience for you, glad it worked out OK.

I've only just seen this post, and I am absolutely shocked and horrified!!!! I lived in London for a few years, then reluctantly returned to Ireland which I regretted for a few years, but now I have children I am delighted!
After DD1 was born I was suffered PND, mainly because she had a cleft palate and needed an operation and I was so worried about it. Doctor just dismissed me saying it was normal, which annoyed me at the time. Now I'm greatful to him for not pushing AD's on me, even if he did and I didn't take them he'd never have reported me.
Must admit baby clinic waiting times here are short. HV did call to me a few times and I wasn't in - she didn't report me to SS though.
When you consider the horrific cases of child neglect that made the news and where it was known by SS those children were at risk, it makes me MAD to think they pick on soft targets.
Parenthood is supposed to be a pleasurable rewarding experience, but to spend those days scared you're gonna be reported for little mistakes makes it a horrific experience instead.

you DO NOT HAVE TO SEE A HV

I am shocked

I have refused to see a health visitor too .. although I've filled out the questionnaire they've sent me

be open with the social services person and honest and above board and I'm sure it will blow over

Could someone have it in for you?

My BIL got really angry with me when I threw his freeloading worthless arse out of my house. He called social services and told them all sorts. He said I ignore the kids, the house is filthy, and that I am abusive. They figured he was lying right away. The dumbass told them that he was ringing "now" because I had just thrown him out.

Even though they realised he was talking complete shit they had to visit anyway. They told me not to worry about him or their visit as I obviously hadn't done anything wrong.