Guilt Mongering Health Visitor

[Limoncella]

Now I now that Im extremely lucky to have a nice HV, but at DS's 8month development check last week, all was going swimmingly until she asked about how he eats.

'Very well' i said...a jar of whatever ( chicken & veg eg) for lunch, bit of fruit, jar of whatever for tea, yogurt etc. loads of milk. Anything that I put in front of him infact.

The look on her face was priceless - 'So you don't do any cooking for him?' she finally asked...

I then got on the defensive (prob a bad thing) and explained about not having the time. She then said it would be a good idea if I 'made the effort'. Grrrr. This dragged on for 15 mins until she finally gave up. I left feeling annoyed that she was questioning what i did with my days (eeerr, work, commute 1.5hrs, come home, play, put him to bed, eat and then put myself to bed!!)

Now I know its not ideal to feed him jar food, but its organic and no salt/sugar etc. Is it really that bad to do this?

Sorry long post!

Limoncella

Don't feel bad - jars really are OK IMO- it is just that as your baby grows up you will have to stop giving him jars so it is worth starting to organise how this will work for you.

Why not start easily

You say two days a week granma cooks lunch, could she do this on the third day too so he always has a lunch on the days with her?

On dh day - Well he really needs to start cooking or at least making something reasonable for lunch (a lot of the things on harpsichordcarrier's list are really easy and he could do that sort of thing for lunch time)

Then in the evening he could have a jar (for now) on days with with grandma and dh

At the weekends why not cook someting you can all have for both meals? That way you have instantly cut down on jars but you are still using them so you don't have to worry about cooking tea for your ds.

all the ideas about bulk cooking and freezing are really good. I never make a pasta sauce for instance without freezing some etc.

Sorry Moondog, but that's nonsense. Limoncello is feeding her son meals containing 100% organic meat, pulses, cereals and vegetables, with all the nutrition naturally present in those foods. They are actually likely to more nutritious than food cooked at home. It is NOT shit and I think by saying stuff like that you make people more resistant to your arguments rather than less. It is also really offensive to be told you feed your child 'shit'.

\link{http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/here}

couscous
rice
roast potatoes

tons of things

It's not the information, lucyjones, it's the attitude. Original OP referred to HV asking her to 'make the effort' and analysing her calender. This is judgemental, not offering information.

grrrrr

am off home now and my two are having Ragu sauce with spaghetti, followed by pineapple and grapes

and then maybe some Easter Egg

we don't all slave over hot stoves 24/7, but it is possible to get food done quickly

its not shit its just snobbery?

look babe, if it works for you - do it. dont ask permission.

most non uber mums just get through each day - trust me.

LucyJones - I heart my health visitor...but as I've said, it's the way she approached this that was my bugbear. I know its not a great thing that he's only having jars, but she didn't offer any other opion than 'try to find some time hon'

Moondog - we don't eat sh*t - we eat a mixed diet that has convinience elements in it. There is an excuse for eating it when you've only got in from work late, and need to do a million things before putting DS to bed. And then needing to eat something yourself before falling into bed.

It's not all the time, but some nights we really need convenience food.

i think it may well be a good time to have a look at what you as a family eat.
It is important to eat well to stay healthy- and for the little one it is exceptionally important.
Jars are not the owrst thing in the owrld- i think that is turkey twizzlers
but you may well find some of the recipes and tips here helpful.
If you bulk cook then just get stuff out of thre freezer on the days that you are busy.
And stugg like fish cake making etc is sooo quick...
i agree that there will be gap with your baby toehrwise where you aren't really going to be comfortable feeding her pizza and stuff that is processed and she is too big for jars.
i was a rubbish cook (and still am) until i met dh and i have learned from him- i still try to do very simple and quick meals and it isn't that hard to cook from scratch.
[smeil]

I work 3 days and my two have crapper teas on those days than when I am off

time constraints as I said before

and I apologise to no-one for my use of kiddy friendly Ragu or Birdseye finest

I would investigate some home cooking if I were you and I think Sainsbury's do frozen baby food type stuff

xx

I really am going home now

Well what else could she relaistically suggest other then for you to try and find some time,short of coming over herself to make you all dinner.

Message withdrawn

in the last 10 minutes i have chopped 3 cloves of garlic, and 1/2 a red onion, they nsizzled for a few mins in olive oil and i posted the last post whilst they were cooking.

then i chopped up 6 large beef tomatoes and chucked them inot the pan with a sploosh of red wine,
now this is sizzling for 2 mins.
The kettle is boiling and i will pour some boiling water over this in a minute together with 1/3 of a pack of lentile and let it all simmer for 10-15mins.
It will be alovely soup of us all this eve.
Dh will have cheese on toast with it maybe ( borwn beread of course ) and ds2 will dunk some bread into it later.
ds1 will probbaly have it with some pasta as he has to be tricked- he doesn't eat soup.
it is pretty easy tbh,, and there will be some to go into the freezer for a less chilled out day nbext week.

but it will ahve taken 20mins at the most to home make some lovely soup/sauce adn nobody got hurt

I like the sound of kiddy-friendly Ragu, oo.

I cooked DSs a lovely homemade pasta sauce with fresh basil last night - DS1 and DS2 did wolf it down - tried to sneak some into DS3's bowl but he wasn't falling for a dumb ploy like that .

you don't have to put the wine in if you don't wan tto- but it all cooks down anyway,
and you could have put some mince into the onion stage and not the lentils and cooked a big spag bol type thingy.. if you need to, this will blenderise easily, but I did the baby lead weaning thingy with ds2 so he will eat the lumps anyway, and di from the get go.

Not trying to be mean, just trying to be positive for you.
It is ahrd to be criticised and here it can seem quite harsh, but good food is good health and processed food, not so good.
You amy end up feeling a bit healthier yourself after all of this

eeeeeeeecchhhh. The thought of cooking meals and freezing them at weekends. Couldn't stand it.

seriously thursdaynext are you asking for research which shows it is better to eat fresh food than processed food? it is not about who turns out to be fussier, is it?
who eats processed food for every meal? students, that's who

PMSL with the ' i can cook a feast in 3 mins' shit

ok apply the same argument to erm....cleaners

right - somepeople dont clean - they could but they prefer to pay extra for someone else to do it.

she choses to buy jars. - cost extra - not full of shit - take full all time to prepare after a hard graft at work.

what is the problem?

if its a lifestyle change - then sure i get it.

but jesus

Yum. Some tasty sounding tips on here, am clocking for near future use with dd2.

dd1 had jars AND fresh food most days (finger foods alongside a jar, for instance), and at age 3 will eat most things, and loves raw veggies and fruit. So you really do'nt have to cook to make sure she has fresh food.

Though we did find a Babydan steamer/blender thing incredibly handy: took minutes to throw some veggies/chicken/fish in, add a bit of butter or milk, and then turn them to mush.

I'd never knock jars though - saved my bacon many times. And my 100-years-old next month granny says 'a little of everything is good for you'. She should know

And personally, I rather like the sweetcorn and carrot ones...

oliveOil - totally agree with you - fast food can be healthy, and we do have it sometimes

Thanks Aloha

Lazycow - am liking your plan - methinks I may implement it!

Megglevache - absolutely - thanks to all the MNetters who have contributed...maybe there could be a MN Cookbook (or has there already been one?!)

oh up ya bum, custy!
i just like to do this and was saying how easy it is.

i think the HV was not particularly nice and can understand why linomcella was upset, but maybe turn it round to something positive... or just slag off the "food ponces"... you decide..

mrsjohnsimnelcake - i think you're fab, a true multi tasker - and I'm not being sarcastic either!

i can clean but can't be arsed, so i employ aan illegal immigrant to do it.. but that is anothr thread...
i just enjoy cooking and was offerring an easy recipe, can't really see how anyone can get the s+"ts about it...

oh have just removed brrom form my bum, and duster hat too.

ds1 has helped by watching cbeebies and ds2 is asleep...

oh, but maybe i ma scrambling his brian by too much tv..

Definately didn't want this to turn into slag off the food ponces! Cos at the end of the day, fresh is better, I know that. Just wish there were about 30 hours in the day so I could spend at least one of them cooking properly!

My ds's fave meal is very easy - chicken casserole. Chop up carrot, parsnip, potato, swede some chicken and another veg you like, add stock and stick in the oven for an hour, I make a big pot full and it makes loads of mini meals to stick in the freezer. It can also be pureed or mashed to suit any taste/age.