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Guilt Mongering Health Visitor

169 replies

Limoncella · 10/04/2007 12:44

Now I now that Im extremely lucky to have a nice HV, but at DS's 8month development check last week, all was going swimmingly until she asked about how he eats.

'Very well' i said...a jar of whatever ( chicken & veg eg) for lunch, bit of fruit, jar of whatever for tea, yogurt etc. loads of milk. Anything that I put in front of him infact.

The look on her face was priceless - 'So you don't do any cooking for him?' she finally asked...

I then got on the defensive (prob a bad thing) and explained about not having the time. She then said it would be a good idea if I 'made the effort'. Grrrr. This dragged on for 15 mins until she finally gave up. I left feeling annoyed that she was questioning what i did with my days (eeerr, work, commute 1.5hrs, come home, play, put him to bed, eat and then put myself to bed!!)

Now I know its not ideal to feed him jar food, but its organic and no salt/sugar etc. Is it really that bad to do this?

Sorry long post!

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Lazycow · 10/04/2007 12:55

When you are at work who takes care of him and feeds him?

I have to say I kind of agree with the HV that some of his food should be home cooked if you can manage it. I really have no problems with jars but it would be better if at leasts one of his meals in the day were home cooked.

I know how har this is btw - I worked 3 days a week and now work 4 days and my ds is at a CM (from 11 months old) who doesn't provide food so I have to send his food.

I used jars sometimes for my ds (usually when out and about as it was easier) but about 70-80% of his food was home-made.

One way to do this without much effort is you can put a portion of what you have for dinner aside and he could eat that reheated for lunch or tea the next day. You can puree it if he on purees.

custy · 10/04/2007 12:57

so are jars bad for you?

if jars arn't bad for you

then why cook?

eidsvold · 10/04/2007 13:01

used jars - organic - with dd1 when working full time although she had 'cooked' meals at nursery. I did not have the time to be cooking for her as well as us at that stage.

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amateurmum · 10/04/2007 13:02

You mention that you play with him after work - well I think its much more important that you spend that time with him than devote ages to cooking and pureeing. Sure, home made food it nice, but organic jars are perfectly acceptable IMO. Don't let her make you feel guilty about your choices.

Original poster
Limoncella · 10/04/2007 13:08

He goes to his Grandma's for 3 days a week and with his dad the other two. MIL does cook for him a couple of times a week for lunch (does him a bit of chicken and veg/veg and baby pasta etc). But 80% of the time (rest of the week) it is jar food.

The problem with him eating our food is that we aren't the best eaters in the world on a regualr basis, for example, this eve we will be having pizza (quick and easy to cook at 9pm, when I get home!)... Much as he would love pizza (the swipes he tries to give any food are a qiveaway!) I don't think it would go in the blender too well

I just wanted to see if people really thought jars are that bad (esp as Grandma also gives out about this....)

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Original poster
Limoncella · 10/04/2007 13:10

Thanks Amateurmum I erally would have to create his own food (ie not our) and the thought of cooking when I get back, instead of spending time with him is slightly off putting!

OP posts:
bundle · 10/04/2007 13:13

they may not have any salt/sugar in them but have a look on the label to see if there's anything other than food in them (fillers etc) - tbh I think they're a waste of money unless it's for convenience (eg picnic - but even then I'd probably have taken an avocado, banana etc) and they taste absolutely vile.

lulumama · 10/04/2007 13:15

Limoncella...at 8 months your baby can eat what you eat, if you go the BLW route. therefore no extra work for you , as there is no more cooking, no pureeing , freezing...so you still get to spend as much time as possible with your little one..

have a look at this:

BLW blog

and

baby banana BLW site

both are from Mnetters...x

doggiesayswoof · 10/04/2007 13:16

If you're not worried about jars, then give him jars.

If you want to cook for him, do it at the weekend and freeze in small portions. That's what I did - or to be more accurate dh did it 90% of time - we both work full time.

Can actually see HV's point - she's just doing her job, is she not?

Mum2FunkyDude · 10/04/2007 13:17

Bundle is right, they use bulking agents in baby food, what this means is great volume low nutritional value. Try batch cooking over weekends, or try Baby led weaning:

BLW

chilledmama · 10/04/2007 13:17

Nothing wrong with jars of organic baby food. If your DS likes them, and you can afford them (some are ssooooo expensive)then don't feel guilty about!!!!!!!!! Playing with your child is much more important for both of you!!

Mum2FunkyDude · 10/04/2007 13:17

sorry cross post with lulumama

oliveoil · 10/04/2007 13:18

jars are ok occasionally but not all the time imo as they are quite bland and his tastebuds will not be used to strong flavours

I did far more cooking for dd1 than I did for dd2, time constraints etc, but it can be done

cauliflower cheese takes 10 mins, shove a lamb casserole in - takes about an hour but you could be watching tv or whatever in that hour

can you do a big cook in at the weekend, when he naps?

or improve your own eating then save a portion?

doggiesayswoof · 10/04/2007 13:18

Yes agree with bundle - they taste 'orrible - for me, part of the weaning thing was encouraging a taste for different foods. Jars don't taste like anything imo

oliveoil · 10/04/2007 13:18

oh god

please

not the BLW brigade

Brangelina · 10/04/2007 13:19

It's not that hard cooking yourself, though. You just cook up a batch of something the odd evening and/or weekends and freeze it in individual portions. Or even leftovers from your meals (unless they're ready meals or chinese takeaways ).

I used to give DD the odd jar in the early days, but after a month or so of my (obviously fantastic) cooking, she didn't want to know about jars anymore, so it had to be all home cooking after that. I work ft too and was never home till 6/6.30 either, so it can be done. I never sacrificed playing time cooking either, as it was out of the freezer and into the microwave.

The only thing I'd worry about giving jars the whole time is the lack of variety of flavour - all the jars I tried seemed to taste the same or just plain horrible. Also, I see them as the equivalent of adult ready meals and I personally wouldn't want to live on them every day. Just my opinion.

oliveoil · 10/04/2007 13:20

This weekend we made a huge chicken curry, bolognese and chilli

lobbed the whole lot in the freezer - voila, meals for the week when I am working (or can't be arsed)

you need a system young lady

doggiesayswoof · 10/04/2007 13:21

I agree brangelina - it can be done, even if you work f/t, and not at the expense of playing time

bundle · 10/04/2007 13:22

cut ripe avocado in half

mush it up or serve it in slices

costs about 60p

eat the rest yourself

and spend the change from jars on heat magazine

sorted

Original poster
Limoncella · 10/04/2007 13:23

Doggiesayswoof....no isssue with what the HV was saying really...it was her manner - the questining of what i do that obv makes me far too busy to make him meals!

Thanks Bundle - I do check jars/packages for bulking agents, and none appear in anything that i buy. Totally right to mention it cos I read about that somewhere else

OP posts:
beckybrastraps · 10/04/2007 13:23

Is your dp at home with him on those two days then? Can he not cook?

Altough I don't have too much of an issue with jars...

Brangelina · 10/04/2007 13:28

Oops, crossed posts with lots of peeps (computer slow today)

Re the pizza thing, my DD would happily chew on a pizza crust at 8 months. Nothing wrong with pizza, it's realtively healthy. Here in Italy it's a staple food.

I have a friend that gives her baby jars and ready meals only as she really has absolutely no idea about nutrition and is worried about getting it wrong. I think the OP might be worried about the same thing. You could try getting a book about baby and toddler food. You'll probably find that you'll also learn yourself and improve your own eating habits.

Mum2FunkyDude · 10/04/2007 13:29

Limoncella I saved time and bought a 3 tier steam cooker, I make 4 different kinds of veggies at the same time and freeze.

bundle · 10/04/2007 13:29

also i feel faintly sick whenever i pass the aisles of chicken tonite etc jars in supermarket, so why subject my children to it?

amateurmum · 10/04/2007 13:30

I really think as long as you are careful and buy good expensive (!) jars then what is the problem? They may be bland and taste unpleasant to adults but if baby likes them, so what?

I don't agree that they will lead to problems with 'real' food later, my ds1 ate jars constantly (I was at university, commuting and did not have time) and now he is an unfussy eater who likes healthy food.

It does take time preparing food for babies especially if you don't eat puree friendly meals yourself. if you get pleasure from it, fine, if not don't feel guilty.

It will be much easier when he eats finger food as you can add banana, toast, cheese etc to add variety with no extra hassle.

Sorry - long post and a bit of a rant but I feel strongly about this!