Guilt Mongering Health Visitor

[Limoncella]

Now I now that Im extremely lucky to have a nice HV, but at DS's 8month development check last week, all was going swimmingly until she asked about how he eats.

'Very well' i said...a jar of whatever ( chicken & veg eg) for lunch, bit of fruit, jar of whatever for tea, yogurt etc. loads of milk. Anything that I put in front of him infact.

The look on her face was priceless - 'So you don't do any cooking for him?' she finally asked...

I then got on the defensive (prob a bad thing) and explained about not having the time. She then said it would be a good idea if I 'made the effort'. Grrrr. This dragged on for 15 mins until she finally gave up. I left feeling annoyed that she was questioning what i did with my days (eeerr, work, commute 1.5hrs, come home, play, put him to bed, eat and then put myself to bed!!)

Now I know its not ideal to feed him jar food, but its organic and no salt/sugar etc. Is it really that bad to do this?

Sorry long post!

Yes, scrambled egg also takes zero time. YOu can add cheese to that too.

i een went to one kid's first birthday party this weekend. the mother and grandmother had made tons of tasty food, sandwiches, pizza, scones, fruit salad, etc...and the birthday boy had a jar of baby food.

You don't need to puree anything now, that's what#s great!

All the meals I suggested - you just plonk it down, you don't even feed it to him, he will learn to do it himself.

It is messy

He doesn't have puree as such...its more the jars with lumps/partly mashed, so he's ok to chew stuff. With finger foods its a totally different story! He literally shoves the whole thing in his mouth and then tries to bite off what he can...and then nearly chokes. Spend a lot of time fishing massive chunks of banana etc out of his gob

Don't fish it out, chop it into thin discs

Gagging not the same as choking - gagging is very normal and it's part of learning how to eat.

i wish I had known with ds1 what I know with ds2!

It's for herself Bundle, not the baby - I am partial to convenience food myself I must admit!

he most probably isn't choking. he's just gagging to stop himself choking. he has to learn this.

I know that colditz, but I think if you feed that to yourself it just gives out the wrong messages about what food means to you. tbh i'd rather go without than have stuff like that, it has a nasty taste and a really horrid texture.

limon- do you know how to make cheese sauce yourself? it's incredibly simple. it's a good thing to know how to make. with that basic sauce you can do loads. and it tastes sooooo much nicer than cheese sauce powder.

We'll I think I'll start trying him on more fnger type foods and see how he gets on (and put a plastic sheet under his chair!)

I think my thoughts when I started this thread were obv concerns about were jars bad, but also the annoyance at the HV for trying to make me feel like I needed to 'make the effort'. That kind of thing really gets my goat - esp when she practically wanted a minute by minute summary of what i do when Im being lazy mum and not cooking his food for him

My mother would rather die than have packet sauces in the house - I don't feel like this at all, so not sure that packet sauces and poor self esteem ar e very closely related

Ye Gads,what a joyless existence it sounds.
Jars for baby.
Packet cheese sauce for mater and pater.
I would shoot myself to escape the misery.

I suspect you feel you should be making the effort Limon.
The HV has merely voiced your feelings.

Don't feel guilty, limon. Jars are ok. As he's getting older you can try him on all sorts of finger food as well. Nice and easy.

Do feel guilty.
Feel exceptionally guilty.
No excuse for giving your kids shit nor eating shit yerselves.

Bleeaaargh!!!

Bundle - food is very important to me. It's just that like I said before, it sometimes is quicker to make something like smash (at 930 in the eve) to go with something healthy, than it is to boil potatoes etc. esp as we don't have a microwave, we don't eat 'ready meals' assuch

I think we generally eat a diet that is convience based at the moment because of the hours we work/the hours DS keeps.

I am sure that all the fantastic food thtat has been suggested here is much more flavoursome than jars.

Harpsichordcarrier - I apply much higher standards to my children's food consumption than my own as I don't eat that healthily (or certainly didn't when they were babies). Hypocritical I know.

I think that my problem with the tone of this thread and that of limoncello's HV is that wonderfully prepared food is often equated to better mothering and IMO it is unrelated (within reason, obviously not neglecting or malnourishing dcs). I think, better for your children to eat even tasteless, processed food and have time with you than to eat wonderful, organic haute cuisine.

I know that some people, probably many on this thread, prepare food with ease and enjoyment. I certainly did not when my children were babies despite all advice. I still think I did the right thing to reduce stress and free me up to be with them.

Of course, now I have discovered MN I can ignore dcs without needing to cook.

the thing is she is called a Health visitor for her reason. When my hv came round she said her role was not just for the baby but for us as a family to be healthy. Therefore I really think she was just doing her job, she would have failed to do that if she'd said 'oh yes jars all the day is a fine diet for a baby'.

Moondog's just kidding

No I'm not.
Far from it.

hv's get such a bad press on here for misinformation and then when they give out good info they are blasted anyway

Limon

Can you do a big job lot of cooking at the weekend? That is what we do, dh is a complete food snob, we do not do take aways or ready meals etc

couple of hours, do lots, freeze, then warm up at night when you get in

pasta takes 10 mins

go on bbcgoodfood.com for quick recipes

omlette
pasta
griddled chicken and salad etc

BAN THE SMASH

Is there any proper research on this? Comparing children weaned on jars with those fed homemade stuff to see who are the fussiest eaters when they are older? Or do healthvisitors just make mums feel guilty on the basis of nothing in particular?