'Sleep when the baby sleeps'. Annoying things people say.

[TheWeatherGirl1]

It's an annoying thing to be told.

If the baby ever deigns to nap then I'm cleaning or doing laundry or emptying the litter tray or sterilising bottles or trying to make food (toast) for myself.

I also don't want to be told to 'just let the housework go'.
I do not wish to live in a slum or have to deal with a mountain of crap in the future.

Thank you for listening.

Oh yes.
I second the 'A rest is as good as a sleep'.
It's not. You're lying.

My favourite thread!
Or when the in laws come to visit and daddy is at work (we're not that close - why can't they visit when he's home?!) and tell me how they did this, that and the other different! I'm ruining my child apparently!
Then act like I'm being rude by not giving them tea and biscuits - you landed to a house with a 4week old empty fucking handed, I've been a bit busy and haven't got the shopping in! I haven't even brushed my hair today!
Lost the plot one day, slammed the door in their face when they landed with a cold! Haven't seen them without daddy around since!

I was sent a text when aunts were visiting letting me know I didn't have to worry about cooking them lunch they would be fine with tea and biscuits! I mean having just given birth obviously my priorities were serving people.

Baby is asleep now after keeping me up most of the night but I still can't sleep daytime. Also desperately need to do the washing and clean up so the flat doesn't end up resembling a pit. It's hard now dp is back at work :(

Yes completely most annoying advice ever in my view, when am I actually meant to do this she doesn't really nap during the day in fact refuses to sleep in the day anywhere apart from my arms or when we are out walking in the pram. It starts when your pregnant unfortunately, the horror stories and well intentioned but useless advice! Here are some of my favourites:

"Oh your looking/getting big!" In the end I got so fed up with this I responded "yes I'm growing a human being what's your excuse!"
"You look bigger now than at at the beginning of the night" this was at a wedding I had no words I was so annoyed, my husband said I just gave her a 'death stare' she quickly tried to back track and then fell silent.

"Just give her a dummy" how about you mind your own business its up to the mum if they want to use a dummy or not and babies cry get over it people!
"You can tell by her cry is she is xxx" nope it just sounds like she is crying to me and I have to use a process of elimination

Some chestnuts from family were

You are making a rod for your back - fuck off

Let him cry - again go fuck yourself

You are spoiling him - from MIL you still sometimes washes 28 year old sons bed linen when he comes home for weekend

You shouldn't be eating that if you are breastfeeding

Sleep when they sleep - well sometimes he only sleeps for 40 mins so by the time I try to get asleep he is awake

You'll soon learn - piss off

What did we do in our day when we didn't have all this information about babies

Have you started solids?

You read to your 5.5 month old - eh yeah it helps with his development

And release - that felt good

'Just put them in a nursery and get on with your life-our source!'
How stupid can you be? If I didn't want to parent then I wouldn't have had children.

Not advise as such but "does he have to have that on his face?" " what's nasty mammy never daddy got on your face"

He's on oxygen so yes he fucking does need that on his face!

That's awful unborn. Some people are just idiots

This thread is so cathartic!

The 'it doesn't get easier' thing is not the thing to say to someone crying their eyes out because their baby has colic (or indeed on a day like today when my 20mo hasn't napped and has shouted at me all afternoon and I haven't eaten or drank anything all day). I get that teenagers are challenging but they sleep masses and spend a lot of time entertaining themselves and would be mortified to see you on the loo.

I am another one who can't let the housework go, what would we eat or drink and what from? Should we just neglect the cats and wear stinking clothes to work?!

I don't actually mind 'it's a phase' and say it myself to will stop doing that!

I feel we've all been familiar with this gem when pregnant;

'Sleep now, because you won't sleep when the baby gets here'.

Great. Thanks.
I'm the size of a whale, my ribs are on fire, I need to wee six times a minute and mattresses are not designed for bumps.
And when I do manage to sleep then I wake myself up snoring.
Because it would seem that I snore now.

Just remembered one from my dm after I said I had been walking with the pushchair to get dd1 to sleep after a night of no sleep: "a change is as good as a rest!". It isn't though, is it mum? Do I look rested?

I had twins and was having to combo feed one of them (my bigger twin wasn't thriving just feeding from me)whilst ebf the other. My personal opinion was as long as they were thriving then it didn't matter how they were fed.
One friend asked how it was going and I said the situation and that I just wasn't producing enough for both despite my best efforts.
A well meaning text came back on what I needed to do, express, kind of dirt, lactation cookies.. how ever well meaning it was it made me feel like poop. Plus I had expressed so many times toget supply up and still no joy. Did she not think I had tried my best?
She didn't have twins either.

Dirt=diet

I say 'sleep when the baby sleeps' because that's what I did.

My husband did everything else around the house.

I think I would've gone mad if I hadn't caught up on sleep wherever I could. I was still snoozing during the day 2 years later!

Most annoying comments were from my mum - 'give them a bottle!' when she saw me demand ebf mine. It used to drive me nuts.

"Why don't you add some baby rice to his bottle, it'll make him sleep longer" .... maybe because he's 4 weeks old?!

"How's his sleep? Is he still waking a lot at night?" .... you know he is so stop f*ing asking. I'll tell you when he's not!

The one that really got me (I laugh at it now but at the time it made me cry) was Liam Payne saying Cheryl Cole was such a good Mum because she had their 11 week old sleeping 7 hours straight... yes, because the rest of us are crap Mums if we can't do this

“Enjoy the newborn stage” met by the response of maybe actually I struggle to enjoy being up all night and spending my days crying from tiredness

“Is she in a routine yet?” Erm at 2 weeks not so much

And from well meaning family when I said how tired I was and was trying to establish breastfeeding ‘why not try a bottle’

'They normally like the bus.' Said while DD sobs unconsolably.

Ooh I forgot:

Just leave her to cry.

She's manipulating you.

It would be nice for someone else to feed her.

You'll have to start her on baby rice soon.

I never breastfed in public.

'I wish I got to be home all day'. What do you think I'm doing - having carpet picnics?!

Breastfeeding makes you loose weight - breastfeeding makes me insanely hungry. It makes me eat whole packets of biscuits ( because you only have one hand free) does not make you thinner.

Oh my goodness it's even more annoying when you have twins. MiL kept saying "sleep when they sleep" to me over and over, as if "they" were a single entity.

She's manipulating you.

God yes and the classic "your spoiling them" you can't spoil a baby.

I gained weight while breastfeeding too

I have found my people. all round

Bloody parents came to visit "to help, you're clearly too subnormal to be a parent after all"

Cooked fucking 2 course meals 2x per day for 2 weeks. They didn't lift a finger to help, just complained about the food and turned up anyway when I suggested they feed themselves, then told me I am too subnormal to know how to be a good host; told me breastfeeding in public is disgusting; DS is going to grow up retarded because he doesn't have a 4 hourly routine and doesn't sleep; I am fat, lazy and ugly and therefore DH will leave me for someone who makes more effort; I'm a crap parent because I think it is less effort to co-sleep with DS than walk up and down the hall every 20 mins all night....

to top it all off the last night they were here DS was sick and needed to go to A&E for dehydration. Fucking mother refused to leave early, deliberately ate slowly while DH and I tried to get rid of her and father got angry with us, and told me I was a shit host for not offering tea and biscuits.

I once saw this thing on Facebook where they made men wear a fake heavy stomach so they could experience what it was like being pregnant. Afterwards they said they understood now how their partners felt.

Ok, wearing a fake heavy stomach for one day does not show you what it's like being pregnant. The nausea, the heart burn, the haemorrhoids, the not being able to pee properly because the baby is on your bladder, the near constant backache, never being able to get comfy enough to sleep, the exhaustion, etc.

A guy at work once told me he would never give up his seat on a train for a pregnant woman as he is tired too. Twat!