'Sleep when the baby sleeps'. Annoying things people say.

[TheWeatherGirl1]

It's an annoying thing to be told.

If the baby ever deigns to nap then I'm cleaning or doing laundry or emptying the litter tray or sterilising bottles or trying to make food (toast) for myself.

I also don't want to be told to 'just let the housework go'.
I do not wish to live in a slum or have to deal with a mountain of crap in the future.

Thank you for listening.

I haven't had the chance to shower today.
It's not relevant to this thread but I thought I'd throw it in there as I was already feeling sorry for myself.

'Make sure you take some time for yourself' makes me funny in the head.
I assume you mean while I'm in the garden desperately trying to peg out washed sleepsuits still covered in poo stains before it rains again, while my baby climbs up the crying scales in the house.

Also the 'you need to find some mum friends' comment.
Who would want me? I haven't even showered! I just want my old friends back .
WAHHHHHH!

I have found my people

'Who does the ironing on this house?'

Er, say what?

In this house, grr

'Get her in a sleep routine now or you'll be making a rod for your own back' - she's less than 2 months old!

'Housework can wait' - No it can't. I like to eat off clean plates and be able to see my carpets (two fluffy cats also resident)

'Sleep when baby sleeps, - THIS NEVER HAPPENS; whoever came up with this clearly never had a baby

'Oh my baby sleeps all the way through, have you tried x y and z?' - Yes I've deliberately not tried everything under the sun because I enjoy severe sleep deprivation

I can't nap so that never happened
I drank tea and enjoyed going to the loo when baby slept.

MIL believed all babies should not only sleep through the night from birth but sleep really late too - so you are all failures like me

I fed DD to sleep all the time she was a baby. She's a fabulous sleeper still (9) and loves it.

Just let him cry it out.
I hate this my baby dies not stop crying without intervention. He has cried until he's sick, for hours. I hate the advice.

My mother in law told me I looked tired.

I. Looked. Tired.

Forget housework?
This was the only thing that kept me sane. I hate my surroundings being disordered. Apart from the shock of giving birth, being suddenly responsible for another human being, having no sleep or routine, the only thing for me where I could have some tangible results was putting shit in its right place.
My cleaner is currently my most significant adult other. Even DP knows it 

Someone mentioned upthread "I am thinner than before I had the baby". I was! But its because dd1 did not sleep until she was 18 months so in the day I was too tieed to eat real meals and when I went back to work I chose to go to bed instead of eating dinner to try and maximise the precious couple of hours sleep I got.

And it is absolutely not useful to "sleep when the baby sleeps" when you also have a toddler! Shall I put her in a cupboard while the baby naps?

I also hate that when people know you are not getting any sleep they laugh and say what do you expect, you've got about 18 years of it. Often comes from men who didn't do the whole night feeds anyway. No names, my dad

Oh god yes the Any news? when 39+ wks pregnant. You just want to scream flipping hell if there was any news you'd already know ffs

And then have you tried swaddling? When your newborn doesn't ever sleep ever even when swaddled! No I've tried nothing its only my 3rd DC sure I just put it down on floor and yknow hope for the best!

Lol

'Enjoy every minute' for sure. Usually spouted by those posting a photo of their sweetly smiling baby ok social media captioned #blessed. Well actually no, some minutes, days and hours with a newborn can be pretty crap. Worse when you throw reflux, a year of 30 min naps or an older child into the mix too. Some minutes I'll just concentrate on surviving without turning to wine before midday thanks.

'Oh...You're still breastfeeding' like you're a weird two headed monster intent on doing this un-natural barbarity to your child

This is my first night home from hospital with a 2 day old baby. He's having a sleep in my arms whilst DP is getting kip in bed. We're both knackered,I'm ready to throw in the towel and breast feeding is a bitch.

I'm ignoring everybody's "kind" remarks and just surviving.

Is it twins? (Thanks! Make me feel GREAT about my bulging belly!)

You look tired... (I bet I do!!!! I'm fucking wrecked!!)

"I want a baby...." (DP quoting me when I say anything negative about parenting)

Are you not giving her solids yet? (She's 16 weeks!!!!!!! No!!!)

Baby XYZ is sleeping 7pm-8am (fantastic news!!!!!!!!!!! Not helpful though?!)

We want to take baby overnight (on what planet is this helpful when I'm breastfeeding and would be awake ANYWAY to pump)

Love this post

*thread
(So tired!!!!! Bet it's cos I don't sleep now! Ever! And napping when I'm outside pushing a buggy doesn't seem to be working for me!! Strange that!)

So many people have no clue just how little some babies actually sleep. And that it's not possible for many adults to just sleep in 20 minute bursts while ignoring the mountains of washing piling up.

And YY to advice along the lines of, have you tried patting his back or try rocking him to sleep. Do you think I'd be going this far out of my tree if it were really that easy?

I just love this thread!

I needed this thread 12 months ago!

Well, I still need this thread now, 13 month old ds' sleep has gone to shit and we've all got coughs and the norovirus

Enjoy every moment!!

Smugness is sometimes rooted in ignorance. As an example it was hard for me to appreciate what looking after a baby with colic was like as none in my family had any more than short periods of discomfort. I spent one weekend as an observer of a very colicky babe and I remember it with horror twenty years on.

Competitiveness is unsupportable. My mil was like this and it killed our relationship. I hope I remember not to do anything similar.

"A rest is as good as a sleep." Almost strangled this person with my bare, exhausted hands, especially as they said it each time they saw me and noted how tired I looked.

Absolute worst is "oh I couldn't put up with that I need my sleep"

What do people actually mean by this? Like you'd abandon the child? Put them up for adoption?

No you would fucking put up with it as you'd have no choice.