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'Sleep when the baby sleeps'. Annoying things people say.

122 replies

TheWeatherGirl1 · 02/10/2017 13:43

It's an annoying thing to be told.

If the baby ever deigns to nap then I'm cleaning or doing laundry or emptying the litter tray or sterilising bottles or trying to make food (toast) for myself.

I also don't want to be told to 'just let the housework go'.
I do not wish to live in a slum or have to deal with a mountain of crap in the future.

Thank you for listening.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
abbsisspartacus · 02/10/2017 16:23

Well I had a dishwasher with baby number two got tutted at till I snapped something along the lines of fuck off I'm not washing up by hand there may have been more but I was rather sleep deprived 😪

Fairybella · 02/10/2017 16:35

Oh my god if some one else tells me my child's behaviour is a phase I'll slap them. In the face. With a chair. She has been a pickle from birth and I'm almost three years in. Yes to people asking if i want more children.... err no have u met the above child?

Don't get me started on the people who try to out do you with their perfect sleeping/ potty trained/ breast fed at 8/ un vaccinated angel child.

gamerpigeon · 02/10/2017 16:47

“Oh you do X?” Said with tone of faint horror / super judgment.

Eg putting my baby down to nap sleepy but awake rather than rocking to sleep. Apparently I was “more hard hearted” than my MIL!!

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waterrat · 02/10/2017 16:51

I had 2 under 2 and told a male friend that I was struggling with depression etc, he said 'oh (name of his wife) is just so great and getting them up and going out into town to galleries and museums, she just has such get up and go'

I wanted to punhc him.

People often said 'oh just get out and go into central London ( I live on edge of london) and go to galleries etc while they are little - the reality of a 2 year old and newborn really was that with both it was unbearably stressful and when I just had the baby I needed to rest

nobody ever told me to just stay in bed all day. I wish they had.

wobblywonderwoman · 02/10/2017 16:54

Well mine are two and four but honestly.. Why don't people mind their own fucking business.

So I finally got out the door when ds was a baby. Layers of blankets etc. Woman tips me on the shoulder 'did you not put mittens on the baby?' OK maybe I should .. But for fuck sake. It wasn't baltic.

Others were worse. I had one 'friend' who took the hump because I asked her not to come into the hospital but give me a few days (she is very negative and moany and I couldn't face it plus breastfeeding problems) .. At this point she rang my mother and then my dh asking did I have depression or something. Then she made comments that an emcs was easier than her births.

Cut my friend off. Who needs that shit??

Shadow666 · 02/10/2017 16:59

"It doesn't get any easier as they get older". Actually, it really does. My 10-year-old doesn't wake 6 times a night, insist on following me to the toilet or have massive tantrums round the supermarket. I agree that it doesn't get easy but definitely easier

"In many ways one child is actually a lot harder than three". Just so not true!

iver · 02/10/2017 17:12

when i've been up all night with teething dd, dp says to me before he leaves for work "just stay in bed all day" Hmm yes that's possible with a 8 month baby that crawls and needs feeding Confused

QueenJane · 02/10/2017 17:16

"Show him who's boss."

I've tried. He just giggles in my face.

grafittiartist · 02/10/2017 17:26

Yes to "is she a good baby" ? What does that mean?! I will add- whilst pregnant- "any news?" . As if I would not bother telling anyone!

Pretenditsaplan · 02/10/2017 17:40

"Yeah but you wouldnt change

GreenShadow · 02/10/2017 17:41

I did sleep when DS1 slept - managed it for a few months iirc.

It was great! He had a reliable routine and so it became my routine too and I totally depended on it and hated it at weekends or when we had visitors and I couldn't take to my bed for an hour.

Obviously didn't work for DS2 or 3.

GinUnicorn · 02/10/2017 17:48

I love this thread.

Well meaning sister in law came out with "just wait soon she will be pushing you away" about me cuddling my newborn.

Have baby blues and that made me cry lots

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 02/10/2017 17:48

Just enjoy it
It goes so fast
Cherish every moment
They grow up too fast
Don't you wish you could stop them growing?
It doesn't get any easier
Don't you wish they would stay little forever

And YY to sleep when the baby sleeps

AlexsMum89 · 02/10/2017 18:07

Yes! 'It gets harder as they get older!!!
Some twat stranger in a supermarket told me that when DS was 5 days old! 5 days old...

Dustbunny1900 · 02/10/2017 18:19

"Just find other moms to make friends with !" As a response to the crushing isolation. Oh wow, that easy eh, problem solved! Or "get out for a walk everyday, take him to the park or something!" Oh yeah, that'll cure my post partum depression and loneliness.

My friend advising me to just put him in a crib and let him cry himself to sleep w a paci when I go back to work..oh fuck off, like you did that with your own kid

All the advice of never letting them watch tv or have screen time, you should be reading them Shakespeare and letting them listen to Mozart while speaking to them in French and Italian..usually spouted by first time parents who are still pregnant.i need to wash my hair, bob the fucking builder is not going to scar them for life in 30 minutes.

"When I was a kid , I went outside all day and played with other kids til the sun went down". Well that's nice, so did I, but there are no neighborhood kids wandering about anymore , it requires painful "play date" plans

"I was hit and I turned out fine, it taught me respect" actually no Larry, you're a bit of an asswipe , but whatever you say! It obviously taught you respect if you think it's ok to put your hands on a child. This one gives me absolute rage

And all the bullshit about my baby getting "spoiled" and by being held, yes he's obviously a manipulative mastermind at 8 months Hmm

"You need to take time for yourself/time together as a couple " yes , I know, but unless you're offering free babysitting go away.

The humble-brags and one upmanship-"just wait til they're teenagers!" Or "be grateful, mine did xyz"

weeowl · 02/10/2017 18:49

"Sleep when the baby sleeps" gives me the rage! It's not possible to sleep while pushing a pram (believe me I've tried)... and pretty sure sleeping while driving is not advisable either! Other than that my babies have only agreed to sleep on me! The housework thing is infuriating too.

I also hate "I'm thinner now than before I had the baby" and "you just need to..."(usually followed by some sleep advice that was pure luck on their part).

Pretenditsaplan · 02/10/2017 18:51

*yes but but you wouldnt change them for the world.

Sorry babysitting had a toddler meltdown to deal with and then tea

Yes i bloody would change it as kids were never on my radar and yes i would change ds so he could just have a little bit of common sense. Milk goes in the fridge dirty clothes in the washing machine. If the bins full stop piling things on top and get a new bin bag....

QueenJane · 02/10/2017 18:56

I fantasise about having a 'pause button' for life. Pause life, go to bed, wake up naturally some time later. Press play, don't give a damn if baby sleeps or not, because you've got a bloody pause button! Grin

MorvaanReed · 02/10/2017 19:20

Ha! MIL spake thusly 14 years ago, then she came over for New Years and shared a room with DD, to give us a break, who howled all night. Couldn't see her for dust in the morning and all her promises of "help" evaporated. I went back to work at ten weeks (bad old days of crappy short paid maternity leave) while DD was still refusing to sleep anywhere but propped up on my shoulder until 4am ish every morning.

You all have my profound sympathy and if I had a friend with a baby I would be free with the offers of tea, housework and arms to hold screaming babies while showers were had. It can be hell.

AlexsMum89 · 02/10/2017 19:21

@queenjane there was a programme called Bernards watch on a few years back and I often fantasize about that being my life!
In all honesty I think I would freeze time all too often though

BexleyRae · 02/10/2017 19:37

"Enjoy it" said with head tilted and nodding with a meaningful smile. Still gives me rage

Chattycat78 · 02/10/2017 20:00

Hoho. Love this.

I've got 2 with a 17 month gap so I had 2under 2 for 7 months. There have been days like hell tbh.

My most favourite comment that I still get is"ohhhh you've got you're hands full...' errr yeah. I think I know. Very helpful. Angry

The sleep when the baby sleeps is a nonsense. As is the stuff about enjoying it, usually said to you when you've had a really awful day....

The helpful suggestions about getting "me time" are also so impractical. Especially when they are really small.

Whoever suggested getting them out to museums and stuff clearly needs a punch. I can barely get to the shops.... unless there's some amazing truth out there which will provide the answer....

becotide · 02/10/2017 20:01

"It gets worse!! You wait until they're teenagers!!!"

Mine are teenagers now. 4 and 7 were the worst ages, utter hell on earth

ButtMuncher · 02/10/2017 20:04

In one year of being a parent I have never ever napped when 'the baby naps'. 30 min naps for the first 6 months put pay to that. And once he finally started sleeping longer during the day I was so thrilled I have some more me time I just did ALL THE THINGS and drank hot tea and ate hot food.

Chattycat78 · 02/10/2017 20:06

Argh don't say that! I can't imagine it being worse than now!

Although I have had a particularly pants day today....!